Hey YOU GUYS why is this day different from all other days? Because it is the very last weekday in the history of Man in which Sarah Palin will serve the great state of Alaska as its mascot. On Saturday she will rest. And on Sunday she will turn over the reins of power to somebody who won’t be harassed to death by frivolous libtards. MORE »

This is going to go on forever — and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe this is somehow “trivial” or “exactly what happens in much of America,” we want to remind you that this woman, Sarah Palin, intends to become President, somehow, and then she will install Trig as “Prince ‘o Peace,” and he will rule the world for 666 years, and then he will nuke it. He is made of nukes, Trig is.

Just a couple of years ago, Sarah Palin was a fresh young political personality. For battered and depressed Republicans who had just lost the House and Senate in an incredible pileup of corruption and perversion, it seemed like an impossible dream to have a happy, heterosexual family girl win a governorship — even if it was in some shoddy backwater like Juneau. Why, this Sarah Palin might just go all the way to the White House! Except she didn’t, and now she’s washed up. MORE »

WONKETTE COMPLETELY ENDORSES THIS 50 WORST MONSTERS LIST: The Buffalo Beast is known for these crushing obituaries of terrible living Americans, and the 2009 edition is built to please/enrage. The 50th, least offensive spot is reserved for your own pretend boyfriend, Barack Obama. Why? To give the list integrity. Anyway, go read this thing, and click the ads and such. [Buffalo Beast]

Now that it’s officially pre-2009, we can start guiltlessly recycling all the material we’ve already written into Top Ten Posts. Today’s took a surprisingly long time to compile. It seemed like a good idea to look at all the funny terms we used to describe our Political Enemies, and it turns out that phrases like “rancid shit-sack,” “vulgar fraud,” “human garbage,” and “cretin” turn up with shocking frequency around these parts. So, after the jump, a painstakingly culled collection of our favorite mean phrases we used to describe objectionable people such as Joe the Plumber, Eliot Spitzer, and of course our all-time favorite, the humanoid sewer-pipe and self-professed eternal virgin Joe Lieberman. MORE »

So these pictures leaked out over the weekend, or Friday, whatever, your editor was still on vacation, in the firestorm, and these pictures of Sarah Palin being a public slob have been all over your Internets. At least one of them, anyway, which apparently caused ejaculations of starbursts in a certain subset of the emotionally crippled boy-wingnut population, because Palin’s ass and XXL logo t-shirt are visible. MORE »

Oh, Sarah Palin, your trashy ass may be back in Alaska today, but you’ve left enough enemies down here in the contiguous U.S. — the real, pro-America America — to keep Wonkette going until Christmas. From this wonderful Newsweek collection of campaign trails, we learn today that Palin’s shopping spree was a lot worse than the original outrageous $150,000 orgy of luxury. MORE »