Tag Archives: oceans

  everyone poops

Excellent News! Whale Poop Could Save Us All From Global Warming, Maybe

Everyone knows how prophetic the popular “The Star Track” television show was: Nowadays you got your “communicators” — cell phones — and your “PADDs” — tablet computers — and your “Ferengis” — the Koch Brothers. In yet another instance of Star Trek getting The Future absolutely right, it turns out that whales may actually save the Earth, which was the plot of Star Trek IV: The One Before Some Idiot Let Shatner Direct. Only it’s not because they can communicate with V’Ger, it’s because a restoration of whales to their former population levels would mean a whole lot of whale poop. And all that whale poop could help offset humanity’s successful efforts to crap on the entire planet. Read more on Excellent News! Whale Poop Could Save Us All From Global Warming, Maybe…
  we prefer 'billy' or 'frank'

What Are We Naming After Ronald Reagan Today? (Hint: It Is ‘All The Oceans’)

Highly esteemed car robber and arsonist Darrell Issa is taking a moment’s break from his hectic schedule of arresting the president for purposely giving guns to Mexican gangsters so the UN can implement gun control in Colorado, and focusing on what really matters: naming the oceans after a great man whose main claim to fame was being married to Hollywood’s Greatest Fellatrix. Oh, and something about selling missiles to terrorists? We don’t know, we might have heard something about that once, but probably not. Read more on What Are We Naming After Ronald Reagan Today? (Hint: It Is ‘All The Oceans’)…
  ban science

NC Developers Working Hard To Prevent Scientists From Making Sea Level Forecasts

North Carolina science people have determined that coastal sea levels are expected to rise 1 meter by 2100 — far more than they’ve traditionally risen, due to the expected impacts of climate change. But developers in 20 coastal counties, see, have determined that such a rise would be bad for development prospects. So they’ve lobbied the state to lower that forecast to only 15 inches instead, because why not? Fifteen’s a nice number. Arbitrary, sure, but can’t the scientists just shut up already? Read more on NC Developers Working Hard To Prevent Scientists From Making Sea Level Forecasts…
  fish story

Michelle Malkin: Obama Is Invading Our Oceans, Imposing Sea-ria

Michelle Malkin put back on her sexy bikini because she has a very important column today about how Obama is “grabbing” our oceans from us. PUT THOSE BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM, SOCIALIST! “It’s not enough that the White House is moving to lock up hundreds of millions of acres of land in the name of environmental protection. The Obama administration’s neon green radicals are also training their sights on the deep blue seas.” Oh no! Not those two colors! Read more on Michelle Malkin: Obama Is Invading Our Oceans, Imposing Sea-ria…