Tag Archives: occupy wall street

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral

No, *you're* the most basic of jokes.
Oh, it has been a busy week in Deleted Comments land! Thanks to our switchover to Disqus, the comments are a bit more Wild West-y than they had been — in Olden times, new commenters had to be approved, but now, Yr Moderators have to patrol the dusty streets and clear them of miscreants who shamble into view. Happily, you Wonkers are all deputized to help us keep our comments section a happy Radical Liberal Secularist Leftist Libunatic playground as well, via the “flag” option that appears when you move your mouse over any comment, like so: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral…
  breadboards and roses

Lady That Works For Google Pretty Sure Google Should Be President Instead Of Obama

We love Obama, but the White House petition is the worst. It gives a platform to people who previously would have been left muttering on message boards. Right now, the award for dumbest petition goes to Justine Tunney, who is calling on the President to step down so Google can run the country. Read more on Lady That Works For Google Pretty Sure Google Should Be President Instead Of Obama…
  Night of broken Google Glass

Tech Bazillionaire Tom Perkins Warns Of New Holocaust: People Complaining About Google Buses

Meet Tom Perkins. He is an uber-gazillionaire tech dude who once killed a man with his yacht. But that’s just an interesting footnote to his biography. See, Tom Perkins is apparently hiding in an attic in San Francisco just like Anne Frank, where he was somehow able to smuggle out this secret diary entry to the Wall Street Journal to warn of the coming Holocaust: Writing from the epicenter of progressive thought, San Francisco, I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.” In case you’re thinking that sounds a tad hyperbolic, rest assured, Perkins has EVIDENCE that the progressive war on wealth inequality is pretty much exactly like Nazi Germany: Read more on Tech Bazillionaire Tom Perkins Warns Of New Holocaust: People Complaining About Google Buses…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own, and then spend the rest of the day waiting for Heidi N. Moore to complain that we STOLED her brilliant idea that was hers first. And so we proudly present “Today in Tabs, by Heidi N. Moore.” Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Scrapbook Of Scum And Villainy…
  viva la revolucion!

Bill De Blasio Sworn In As New York City Mayor, Promises A Banker’s Head In Every Pot

Many of you were probably too hung over on Wednesday to remember that it was the day Bill de Blasio was inaugurated as mayor of New York City. It was a wonderful and festive day, though perhaps tinged with fear at what the city’s future in the grip of this mad Communist dictator may be. For those who missed it, Wonkette presents this transcript of de Blasio’s inaugural address. Greetings, comrades! Today is a glorious day for our revolution, a day we have dreamed of, planned and schemed for since the days when our forefathers and fellow travelers would gather in the back room of Morty Feinbaum’s haberdashery on Pitt just off Delancey to drink Morty’s homemade potato vodka and plot their evisceration of the aristocratic classes! For today is the day that I, Bill de Blasio, take control of the greatest city ever, New York City! (pause for applause, cheers, any dudebros in audience to chant “N-Y-C!”) Proletarians of the heroic working classes! I thank you for investing me with this awesome power. I thank you for ignoring the dire warnings of our fascist capitalist pig-dog enemies who kept telling you that a vote for Bill de Blasio was a vote for socialism, communism, and a return to the New York of the 1970s, when the city was a hellscape of criminality and our only hope lay with one man … a man driven by a thirst for revenge, a man who had only a gun and a Death Wish. (Pause for dudebros to chant “Charlie! Charlie!”) Read more on Bill De Blasio Sworn In As New York City Mayor, Promises A Banker’s Head In Every Pot…
  the time of purification is at hand

Deleted Comments of the Day: Didn’t You Guys Notice Martin Bashir Is An Ay-Rab?

Gosh, seems like it’s been forever since we’ve done one of these! Thanks, Rebecca, for keeping up with the genius auditions while we were on “vacation” last week. And let’s see what’s squirming around on the underside of the comment queue today… First up, our story on Martin Bashir’s culinary suggestion for Sarah Palin drew this brilliance from “RichieM232”: Martin Bashir is a disgrace. Misogynistic scumbag. Should be kicked out of MSNBC. Considering his cultural background he probably still believes in stoning women. But it has no place in TV news in a civilized soceity. And if anyone knows what a “civilized soceity” [sic] is, it’s a guy who assumes that anyone named “Bashir” has to be a lady-stonin’ Mahomettan savage, amirite? Tell us something of “his cultural background,” will you, O Source Of Much Knowledge? “Bashir was born in Wandsworth, South London, to parents of Pakistani Christian origin … He identifies himself as a committed Christian” Well, hell, your hidden Muslims all claim they’re Christians. Just like the Gettysburg-denier preznit. On the other hand, we do think it’s worth mentioning that “Martin Bashir” anagrams to “harms Britain.” Read more on Deleted Comments of the Day: Didn’t You Guys Notice Martin Bashir Is An Ay-Rab?…
  peggy noonan is spinning in her grave

Income Inequality Called A ‘Problem’ In Wall Street Journal, Temperature In Hell Dropping Rapidly

Hidebound banking pamphlet The Wall Street Journal‘s entire reason for existing is to endorse the view that there is no such thing as a problem caused by rich people. So it was jarring to read this on their blog: The trouble is the nation’s affluent, who have isolated themselves over the past 40 years more than the poor, hold the lion’s share of its resources: As of 2010, America’s top 10% of families controlled nearly 50% of all income, the researchers note. Occupy Wall Street Journal! Read more on Income Inequality Called A ‘Problem’ In Wall Street Journal, Temperature In Hell Dropping Rapidly…
  ugly vile little snark mob

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Liberal Veterans Are Fictional Edition

As we all know, the greatest scandal of the gummint shutdown is Barack Obama’s 9/11/Pearl Harbor sneak attack on America’s World War II vets, whereby he personally endorsed Hitler by closing the WWII Memorial on the National Mall (although the memorial is now open to vets only). Not surprisingly, we got a few comments from new visitors about our story, and they were None Too Pleased. Consider this note from “ORDINARYPATRIOT,” who used up all their available capslock while typing their username: you spineless left wing POS! You had better hope that a miracle happens and you one day are half the man that these men are. If not for them you’d be speaking German and saluting pictures of the Fuhrer. Please leave this country, moron. Kind of takes you right back to watching All in the Family on a 13-inch Sony Trinitron, don’t it, meathead? Love it or leave it! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Liberal Veterans Are Fictional Edition…
  Won't Somebody Think of the Billionaires?

Forbes’ Randroid Columnist Tells 99% To Stop Whining And Help The Rich Already

Tuesday of this week marked the second anniversary of that little thing in New York where all those dirty kids squatted on Wall Street to whine and complain about being poor because they are part of, like, 99% of the country, and unlike the 1% who own 40% of all the money. They seemed to think this was wrong or something and someone should be giving back. But fear not, useless rest of you, Forbes contributor Harry Binswanger has some important knowledge to drop on all your poor masses. You were right! Someone should be giving back! And it is you! It is “the community” that should give back to the wealth-creators. It turns out that the 99% get far more benefit from the 1% than vice-versa. Ayn Rand developed the idea of “the pyramid of ability,” which John Galt sets forth in Atlas Shrugged. Read more on Forbes’ Randroid Columnist Tells 99% To Stop Whining And Help The Rich Already…
  you can't handle the truth

Conservatives Launch New Website To Take Down Institutional Left, No Really For Serious This Time You Guys!

Well this will be fun! Noodle-brained jackanape Ben Shapiro is teaming up with crankypants David Horowitz to launch something called TruthRevolt.org, described as “the conservative counterpunch to Media Matters.” To which yr Wonkette can only say: THANK YOU! We are going to have so much fun wading through what is sure to be yet one more fever swamp of conservative lunacy and bullshit that we are not ashamed to say we peed in our sweatpants when we read about this. (Also we really need to get out more.) Media Matters has long been the Moby Dick to whichever conservative fancies himself as Ahab at any given moment, which has led to all sorts of awesome slurs directed against it: Soros-funded! Obama-linked! (MMFA was founded in 2004, well over two years before Obama announced he would seek the presidency – or so the Manchurian Kenyan’s handlers would have us believe!) It’s no surprise that the conservative leviathan would vomit up two of its more annoyingly loud and sneering acolytes to lead the latest whaling voyage. Shapiro’s announcement could not be more hilarious in its hyperbolic, unhinged ranting: Read more on Conservatives Launch New Website To Take Down Institutional Left, No Really For Serious This Time You Guys!…
  the traditional one year gift is handcuffs

The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!

Last year, it took Occupy less than three weeks to reallocate $2 million in government-funded aid to working men and women in New York City, in the form of overtime pay to the city’s police department. This year, some in the movement hope to achieve this goal sooner — and judging from the police turnout on Occupy’s one year anniversary, they stand a good chance of meeting their goal! It’s always nice when the dominant partner in a very hetero-normative relationship goes “all out” for an anniversary, and this year the police did not disappoint. “As usual, they brought Occupy some pretty police horses and cute police dogs.” Commissioner Ray Kelly’s NYPD is rumored to have splurged on a secret signal jammer to cut into Occupy’s livestream feed. The Associated Press is reporting that the police have arrested somewhere around 180 people (the NYT is saying 185), including about five journalists, wheelchair-bound Americans, one goth girl, and a fucking legal observer from The National Lawyers’ Guild: an act of puckish over-exuberance tantamount to capturing a Red Cross nurse as a POW. The police also gave a 99% bro a ride in a shopping cart. Read more on The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!…
  general strike!

How Will Media Totally Avoid Useful News Coverage of May Day Protests?

Hooray, tomorrow is Kleptocracy Sucks Day! This, of course, is every day, but tomorrow Occupy Wall Street and labor unions are organizing actions all across the country for May Day to call attention to the crushing economic injustice forcing millions of unemployed, underemployed or over-employed “part-time” workers with multiple underpaid jobs to turn on their teevees and their YouTubes at night and get a lecture from Mitt Romney on how much their jealousy of his wealth offends him while President Hope runs off to drone bomb another crowd of women and children attending a funeral in Pakistan, for freedom. The best advice here is to actually go to one of these events if you want to know what is happening, since the odds are good that Wednesday’s newspapers are going to be plastered with pictures of kittens instead of actual news reports on the protests. How will America’s corporate news outlets manage coverage this time? Read more on How Will Media Totally Avoid Useful News Coverage of May Day Protests?…
  there will be blood

Here Is Your New Occupy Wall Street Poster Of A Unicorn Biting Pepper-Spray Cop’s Head Off

What it says, dudes. So you know how all the liberal media are always whining, “BUT WE DON’T KNOW WHAT OCCUPY IS FOOOOOR,” and you tell them shut up of course you know what Occupy is for? And that is to END THE FED and IMPEACH OBAMA because WAR CRIMES and also I WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE ‘LESSER OF TWO EVILS,’ at which point your editrix punches her little Occupy brother in the face (no, not that little brother, a different little brother) and explains that a Nader vote carries with it real-life consequences, mostly in the form of a lifetime of shame. Read more on Here Is Your New Occupy Wall Street Poster Of A Unicorn Biting Pepper-Spray Cop’s Head Off…
  haw haw drum circles haw haw

You Must Read The Occupiers’ 325-Page Comment To The SEC

The Occupy people have done a wonderful thing. On Monday, just as the comment period on the new regulation was closing, a subgroup of seven known as Occupy the SEC submitted a 325-page comment to all relevant federal agencies demanding a stricter “Volcker Rule” — the part of Dodd-Frank that aims to limit the amount of proprietary trading, or risky bets made with a firm’s own money (frequently and ultimately meaning YOUR money), in which megabanks can participate. Read more on You Must Read The Occupiers’ 325-Page Comment To The SEC…
  let freedom ring

Niger, El Salvador Beat United States in Press Freedom Last Year

The United States placed a thrilling 47th on the newly-released index of worldwide press freedom compiled by Reporters Without Borders, go team! This is 27 places worse than the previous year, owing to all the great fun cops across the nation had arresting, brutalizing and obstructing the work of journalists during the Occupy Wall Street protests. We were trying to type a bit of humor about some scandalously idiotic screaming exchange between Barack Obama and Arizona’s dingbat teabagger governor Jan Brewer that’s taking a dump all over our news feed, but then we just kept thinking to ourselves: Ha ha, maybe we will avoid this kind of thing just once, because this story — a White House pool reporter excitedly detailing a brief, meaningless spat between enemy politicians only because it deviates slightly from the usual banal protocol and then twenty other news sites repeating the account almost verbatim like it matters — is pretty much the exact kind of story that we fear being the only kind of story on our political news feed when we think about how much Michael Bloomberg wishes he could have shipped every journalist covering the police brutality against #OWS protesters to Guantanamo for a couple months/forever. Read more on Niger, El Salvador Beat United States in Press Freedom Last Year…
  establishment marketing techniques

Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company

The dull evidence of a typical hack political campaign is the “embargoed” speech or statement sent out many hours before the event it is supposed to address. And now we’ve got this email from a big P.R. firm claiming that the Occupy Wall Street response to Obama’s State of the Union speech is contained within this mass-mailed marketing material. That whole “mic check” thing was getting a bit stale even before it was written into a press release and sent to the nation’s political media with the dumb demand that it be kept from the common people’s eyes until after Barack Obama read his prepared comments. Read more on Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company…