Since Barack Obama has a full 137.99% of the entire world’s supply of dollars, John McCain now finds himself at a financial disadvantage! He’s stuck with a pauper’s sum of $84 million in [*aristocratic shudder*] “public” funds, which is what Joe the Plumber makes in one hour. In other words, John McCain now knows what it’s like to be a Welfare Queen, and it’s not as fun as Ronald Reagan made it out to be. What’s a broke presidential nominee to do when he can’t legally raise funds for his campaign, accept private donations above $2,300, or accept donations from foreigners? Answer: raise funds for his campaign by asking Russians to privately donate $5,000 sums which he will accept. Do loopholes justify this? Eh, maybe, but when you get caught doing this sort of thing it’s safer to just call it a mistake. MORE »