Tag Archives: obamacare

  What -- no lube?

Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!

He really loves us
It was just a week ago that House Republicans introduced their latest scheme to screw America, which they charmingly call the Balanced Budget for a Stronger America. It would not actually balance the budget (unless you do some fancy magic “math” to it, which does not work in the real world, sorry) nor does it make America stronger, but come ON, it’s got a nice-sounding name, isn’t that enough? Read more on Republican House Passes Budget Bill To Screw America Because Screw You, America!…
  This Fuckin' Guy

This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand

Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona
Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack has already clarified that he is not looking for charity, and also, thank you for all the charity, please send more charity. Now, Sheriff Mack’s supporters have reached down, grabbed the Sheriff’s bootstraps, and announced that they want DOUBLE the amount of other people’s money they originally said they wanted. Read more on This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand…
  Trollin' like a BOSS

Obama Rubs Obamacare In Republicans’ Faces Again, What A Bad Man!

President Obama can NOT shut up about how great his precious Affordable Care Act is, just because of how great his Affordable Care Act is. The White House has been in full Hells Yeah! celebration mode, in honor of the fifth anniversary of the law that is going to destroy the nation any day now, and then we’ll see who’s laughing, WON’T WE, AMERICA? (Spoiler: It’ll probably still be Obama.) Read more on Obama Rubs Obamacare In Republicans’ Faces Again, What A Bad Man!…
  Mad About A Thing

Ted Cruz To Cover His Family With Obamacare, THEN Kill It With Fire, Because He’s A Dick

Good thing they all get to have health insurance
It must be nice to be Ted Cruz. Sure, you have to actually be Ted Cruz, which sounds awful, but on the other hand, you get to be Ted Cruz. You can devote your entire life — or, OK, the two years you’ve served in the U.S. Senate, if you wanna get technical about it — fighting against the Affordable Care Act and then, just when you happen to need it, BOOM! It’s right there for you anyway. You can swear to turn this whole country around and burn it to the ground and piss on its corpse (for extra Take That! funsies) to give Americans the Freedom And Liberty to not have affordable access to health care and go bankrupt with medical expenses or maybe just die from lack of access to a doctor. And yet, you still get to use it when your wife takes an extended (although, come on, probably not that extended) unpaid leave from her Goldman Sachs gig to smile and wave next to you while you stump around the country saying stuff like, “I’m going to repeal every single word of Obamacare.” America is a hell of a country, isn’t it? Read more on Ted Cruz To Cover His Family With Obamacare, THEN Kill It With Fire, Because He’s A Dick…
  Thanks Obama again and again and again

Oh Hey Look At All The Billions Of Dollars Hospitals Are Saving With Obamacare

He laughs at their pain
It’s been a while since we reminded you that with Obamacare, everyone wins, right? Like that one lady who was all, “Oh no, I cannot afford my cancer treatment now because of how Obamacare makes it so much more expensive!” except that Obamacare was saving her money on her cancer treatment, and she did not even have to say THANKS OBAMA! And all those folks in Oklahoma who are saving sooooo many shiny nickels on their medicine now because, that’s right, Obamacare. And that one sheriff who hates Obamacare so much, he’d rather die than buy health insurance, but bleeding heart liberals are giving them their hard-earned monies to help him pay off his medical bills anyway, and that’s hard-earned monies they probably only have laying around because of how they’re not as dumb as their sheriff and have purchased better, cheaper health insurance, thanks to Obamacare. And then, of course, there’s the federal government, which is spending less on health care costs than previously predicted, which sounds like the kind of spending cuts fiscal conservatism some political party is generally in favor of, but we can’t remember who that is right now. Read more on Oh Hey Look At All The Billions Of Dollars Hospitals Are Saving With Obamacare…
  Common Core? Why Not An Exceptional American Core?

Ted Cruz Will ‘Repeal’ Common Core ‘Law’ When He Is ‘President’

Ted Cruz will do a faith-healing of America
In his amazing Liberty University speech where he announced that he’s running for President of Jesus, Ted Cruz promised to repeal every single word of an onerous federal law that oppresses America and is designed to promote socialism. Twice. First, he promised to repeal every single word of Obamacare on his “first day in office.” (Never mind that Sen. Cruz will actually spend January 20, 2017 watching someone else take the oath of office.) And then a little later in the speech, he also urged the well-scrubbed young people at Liberty University, Read more on Ted Cruz Will ‘Repeal’ Common Core ‘Law’ When He Is ‘President’…
  Happy birthday Obamacare

John Boehner: Is Obamacare Replacement At The Bottom Of This Barrel Of Chardonnay?

Not intended to be a factual picture
It’s been five years since President Obama signed the Affordable Care Act — aka Obamacare, aka The Just Like Hitler Health Plan To Socialize America To Death, aka Romneycare but without abortion coverage, aka the health insurance reforms as originally imagined by the conservative “think tank” the Heritage Foundation — into law. Don’t bother looking out your window to see if the world has ended yet; we already checked for you and, against all odds, we’re still here. Read more on John Boehner: Is Obamacare Replacement At The Bottom Of This Barrel Of Chardonnay?…
  thanks obama!

Obama: Yeah, I Actually DID Save The Economy, You’re Welcome

Hey remember how I saved the country?
That President Obama thinks he is so great just because he happened to have tyrannically imposed a few fixes here and there that helped America’s economy avoid collapsing on itself when he illegally usurped the Oval Office by being democratically elected to it. And now he’s on this not-so-humble ego trip tour, trying to convince us that unemployment rates are down (true), job growth is up (also true), and the Affordable Care Act is making health care cheaper and more accessible for millions of people, plus saving the government money, like that’s even a good thing (because it is). So the House Republicans’ new budget proposal introduced this week to undo all of that is not such a good idea, actually: Read more on Obama: Yeah, I Actually DID Save The Economy, You’re Welcome…
  Next: The Inevitable Drunken Make-Up Sex

Glenn Beck Breaks Up With GOP, Won’t Return Any LPs They Bought Together

Who'll get custody of the Butthurt?
Oh dear. This is going to make for some awkward Thanksgiving dinners, we bet: Glenn Beck is done with the Republican Party because he just can’t stand how they keep cheating on him. On his radio programme Wednesday, Mr. Beck told the GOP that it’s not him, it’s them: Read more on Glenn Beck Breaks Up With GOP, Won’t Return Any LPs They Bought Together…
  You just have to love America enough for it to work

House Republicans’ New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had … And More!

You just have to love America enough for it to work
Oh neat, it’s that time again when Republicans introduce their plan to make America flush with cash and liberty by drowning government in a bathtub and letting olds figure out their own damn health care and generally requesting that we all grab our ankles and hold on tight. Again? Yes, again. So what kinds of nifty fix-everything ideas did the GOP come up with this time, using an abacus and some of Rep. Paul Ryan’s left over magic fairy dust from his days as budget chairman, when he tried and failed to save America? Oh, the usual: Read more on House Republicans’ New Budget Holds Every Terrific Idea The Teabaggers Have Had … And More!…
  Obama's filling your grandma's doughnut hole right nice

Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money

Now Grandma gets to go to the Horseshoe, THANKS OBAMA.
U.S. Americans have been lately wondering why their Oklahoma Grandma has been sending them TWO crisp twenties for their birthdays these past few years. Is she sick? Has she reached the point where she can’t count moneys anymore? GOOD NEWS, it is not that, your Okie Mee-Maw is just fine! It turns out that, due to the Affordable Care Act, more popularly known as “Obamacare,” Grandma Rose has a bit more cash to throw around, stemming from Obamacare’s efforts to close the so-called “doughnut hole” in Medicare Part D, a dumb coverage gap that causes seniors to spend many extra dollars per year on prescriptions that they actually need. So far, though, since Black President death paneled all the Olds in 2010, Oklahoma grandmas (and grandpas, and grandsgenders, and also disabled people covered by Medicare who are not “grand” age) have saved $191 million on their prescription drugs, hurray! You know who is going to the race track this weekend? Yes, it is Grandma Rose and her 65,158 best friends: Read more on Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money…
  Ain't Too Proud To Beg But Definitely Too Proud To Admit To It

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar

Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack called into the Thom Hartmann Program, and while the Sheriff’s cardiovascular system is still recovering from a heart attack, his balls still appear to be plump, healthy, and clad in the highest-quality brass. Mack insists that he don’t need no handouts, and also thank you for all the handouts, please keep ‘em comin’. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar…
  Here have some news n stuff

Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare’s Doing Just GREAT, Actually

He laughs at their pain
It sure sucks having to hear about how President Obama’s dumb health care reform is doing swell, actually, huh? It’s covering more people than expected, it’s cheaper than expected, it’s saving the country more money than expected — and as long as you don’t tell people what it is (it is health care reform brought to you by a black president, shhhhhhhhhh), people actually quite like it! But don’t say that to Wyoming Sen. John Barrasso, because he doesn’t want to hear another word about it: Read more on Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare’s Doing Just GREAT, Actually…
  Blah blah blahzzzzzzzzz

‘Democrat’ Jim Webb Mewling About Obamacare, Still Not Going To Be President

Hmmm ... still nope
Last November, one-term Senator from Virginia Jim Webb (R or D or whatever you want) released a home movie breaking the EXCLUSIVE! news that “thousands of concerned Americans from across the political spectrum” have begged him to run for president in 2016. So he made a website and everything, to paint himself as some kind of non-partisan hero who was technically a Democrat while he served a single term in the Senate before deciding it’s way better to make lots of money in the private sector, but also, he served in the Reagan administration and loves that guy a whole lot, so everybody wins! Read more on ‘Democrat’ Jim Webb Mewling About Obamacare, Still Not Going To Be President…
  God loves Notre Dame best. She's a masochist.

Notre Dame Stands In Schoolhouse Door To Block Slut Pills Today. Tomorrow. FOR EVER!

Word.
Ladies, would you like to guess who’s screwing around with your reproductive health coverage this week? Haha, that was a trick question — the answer is always “everyone,” but we were specifically referring to the Supreme Court! Yesterday it ordered the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals to revisit its decision last year demanding Catholic university Notre Dame … fill out a religious-freedom opt-out form if it didn’t want to supply contraceptive coverage under the rules of Obamacare. Why did SCOTUS vacate and remand Seventh Circuit’s decision? Because Burwell v. Hobby Lobby! Remember, “religious freedom” isn’t only about straight bakeries and straight florists – it is also about anti-science craft stores! Read more on Notre Dame Stands In Schoolhouse Door To Block Slut Pills Today. Tomorrow. FOR EVER!…
  Just heal yourself with bootstraps

Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid

He's here to protect the taxpayers
Arizona’s new Republican governor, Doug Ducey, sure is in a hurry to undo all the socialism the state’s previous radical liberal Marxist Obama-lovin’ governor, Jan “Judas” Brewer, did when she was still in charge of the place. Read more on Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid…
  He probably spent all the Wonkette donations on drugs

Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!

We were so excited to hear that the virulently anti-Obamacare Sheriff Richard Mack, whose ass Wonkette readers helped bail out since he has a ton of medical bills and refuses to buy insurance, was on the HuffPostLive. “Oh great,” we thought, “he is going to cry and thank Wonkette and ask us to be his lord and savior, or at least name his next kitten after us, this will be beautiful.” Read more on Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!…
  It's Showtime! Again!

How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer

please uphold so we can get on with our lives
Today, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in King v. Burwell, a case challenging the legality of the federal subsidy provision of the ACA, because rather than just having a robust legislative debate culminating in a law, and then moving on with their goddamned lives, Republicans have voted to repeal it 56 times since President Obama signed it in March 2010, unleashing the tyranny of private market health insurance on all of us. After today’s oral arguments, the Supremes will hang out, have some drinks, braid each other’s hair, and then issue a decision in June as to whether the ACA’s federal subsidies are good to go in states using the federal insurance marketplace, or whether people in the states that declined to set up their own exchanges will suddenly, oops, no longer be eligible for federal subsidies. And then there will death spirals everywhere! Let’s ACAsplore. Read more on How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer…
  Wonkette heals the sick

Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills

Except this time it is Wonkette being Jesus!
Wonkette is a force for good in the world, it has been proven! On Friday, we had the story of former Arizona sheriff guy Richard Mack, a wingnut Oath Keeper, who has also been a very public opponent of the tyrannical reach-around that is Obamacare. Mack and his wife do not have health insurance, because FREEDOM, but sadly both have suffered major health setbacks in the past several months, which has led them to experience the uniquely American wonders of getting driven into the poor house, due to ain’t got no health insurance. Read more on Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills…
  Meet The New Plan: Same As The Old Plan

GOP Pinky-Swears They Will ‘Fix’ Obamacare, If We Just Let Them Smash It To Bitses

Packed by weight, not volume
Just in case the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare’s subsidies for people who bought health insurance on the federal exchange, three Republican senators have written an important Op-Ed in the Washington Post to reassure Americans that “We have a plan for fixing health care.” It’s a pretty impressive plan that should allay the worries of the 6 million Americans who signed up through the federal marketplace that they’ll suddenly be unable to afford decent insurance. Again. Read more on GOP Pinky-Swears They Will ‘Fix’ Obamacare, If We Just Let Them Smash It To Bitses…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…