Tag Archives: obamacare

  Derp Different

Jeb Bush Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Apple Watches (Buy Your Own, Loser)

REPLY HAZY TRY AGAIN
“John Ellis Bush” Bush is pretty excited about how the Wonders of Technology could help make us all healthier and happier, like for instance how if everybody had an Apple watch, then they could start taking responsibility for themselves, and we could repeal Obamacare. Read more on Jeb Bush Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Apple Watches (Buy Your Own, Loser)…
  asshole

Evil Gov. Rick Scott Would Rather Shut Down Government Than Give Healthcare To Florida Poors

Hi, I'm Rick Scott, this is what I look like.
Florida is having quite a dumb fight right now, simply because gross reptile Gov. Rick Scott refuses to take federal money to pay for low-income people’s healthcare if it’s got Obamacare all over it. So let’s shut down the government! Read more on Evil Gov. Rick Scott Would Rather Shut Down Government Than Give Healthcare To Florida Poors…
  dirty commie socialists

Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare

This is what Obamacare insurance cards look like, right?
The Texas House did something gross, because it is the Texas House, try not to faint from surprise. House Bill 1514, approved by a vote of 129 to 8, would require that a special designation — “QHP” — be added to insurance cards for plans purchased through the Affordable Care Act’s online exchanges, just so your doctor knows how gross you are. Originally, the bill included the designation QHP-S, which would have added an extra special “fuck the poors” scarlet letter to the insurance cards of people who qualified for subsidies under Obamacare, but that part was removed from the final bill that passed, which liberal blogs and mainstream newspapers would know if they READ A GODDAMNED BILL ONCE IN A WHILE: Read more on Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare…
  Fuck these guys

Obamacare-Hating Idiot Super-Pissed Obama Won’t Pay His Doctor Bills Now That He Needs It

Waaaaaah
Most Americans, even the dumb ones, even the Republican ones, were pretty stoked when they finally had the opportunity, for the first time in their lives, to afford health care insurance, thanks to Obamacare. Like this proud Reagan-lovin’ tea party member who’s probably voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016 because he really likes his Obamacare and doesn’t want Republicans to take it away from him. Read more on Obamacare-Hating Idiot Super-Pissed Obama Won’t Pay His Doctor Bills Now That He Needs It…
  Go on and spite that face

Moocher Red States Still Don’t Want Free Healthcare Money With Obama’s Name On It

Morans
While more than half of our American U.S. states are proficient enough at math to conclude that free dollars from the federal government to expand healthcare access to low-income citizens is a really good deal, some Republicans who are terrible at math and terrible at legislating and terrible in general still can’t quite add it up. Five years after passage of the Affordable Care Act, some red states are still debating, or outright refusing, free money because they just really REALLY hate President Obama: Read more on Moocher Red States Still Don’t Want Free Healthcare Money With Obama’s Name On It…
  fair's fair

Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors

Not as fun as new car :(
Everybody who isn’t A Dumb knows that drug testing welfare recipients doesn’t actually work, because SURPRISINGLY, poor people don’t actually live by the parameters of a typical Rush Limbaugh rant about welfare queens getting high off government paychecks and smoking drugs. Shocking, we know. Of course, Republicans still love the idea because A) they DO get their worldview from those Limbaugh rants, and B) they get to shame poor people! Yay! And now Republican Jason Schultz, state senator out of Iowa, has come up with a truly loving, Christian idea, just so nobody can say they’re singling out all those poors for unfair treatment: Read more on Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors…
  Yes the law is the law even for ladycare

Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag

Pay the fuck up
It should not be necessary for the Obama administration to tell health insurance companies, “Seriously, you have to, it’s THE LAW!” about the requirements of the Affordable Care Act, but alas. It seems the insurance industry figured the Department of Health and Human Services’s specific guidelines for coverage of women’s preventive health care were, like, suggestions. Not the actual law that insurance companies are required to follow, because it is THE LAW: Read more on Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag…
  Healthcare for me but not for thee

Oh Look At All These Tennessee Republicans Who Love Taxpayer-Funded Healthcare, But Just For Themselves, No One Else

... for Republicans
Tennessee Republicans are damned sure the citizens of their fine state love freedom a lot more than they love taxpayer-funded health insurance. Which is why they are ready to die on the Obamacare hill and wage all-out war against Republican Gov. Bill Haslam’s attempt to expand “not Obamacare” Medicaid to insure an additional 280,000 Tennesseans, to keep socialized insurance out of Tennessee. For the regular people, that is. For the state’s legislators, taxpayer-funded healthcare is (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone) just fine, thanks. Read more on Oh Look At All These Tennessee Republicans Who Love Taxpayer-Funded Healthcare, But Just For Themselves, No One Else…
  This Fuckin' Guy

Florida Gov. Rick Scott: Yes, I Am A Lying Piece Of Sh*t

Yes, he's a monster
Need another reason to hate Florida’s governor with the fire of a thousand suns melting the ice caps to drown the state, even though you’re not allowed to say that there? Probably not, but Rick Scott is nothing if not ambitious, so here ya go, have some more hate for the guy: Read more on Florida Gov. Rick Scott: Yes, I Am A Lying Piece Of Sh*t…
  Yeah we already got the memo

Senate Republicans Pass Meaningless ‘Budget’ Just To Prove They’re Dicks

Suck it, America
In another display of bold, big boy leadership, Senate Republicans just barely passed a budget resolution on Tuesday, which serves no purpose whatsoever other than putting on the record, again, that they are the party of terrible people who want to do terrible things to America. As if we didn’t already know. Read more on Senate Republicans Pass Meaningless ‘Budget’ Just To Prove They’re Dicks…
  Save us Democrats you're our only hope

Senate Republicans Introduce Bill To Protect Obamacare From Senate Republicans

Waaaaaah
Obamcare is SO bad and SO unpopular and SO epic fail, and that is why the American people have been looking to the GOP all these years to save them from the awful thing. And now Senate Republicans have a plan to do just that — with a bill to protect Obamacare: Read more on Senate Republicans Introduce Bill To Protect Obamacare From Senate Republicans…
  Bleat On The Brat

How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?

American Pony is Superior Pony! And Smarter than David Brat.
Gosh, remember when former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost his primary to some Tea Party loon named David Brat, and we laughed and laughed and looked forward to all the crazy stupid stuff Brat would do in Congress? Except how Brat was just kind of garden variety dumb, and not generally all that funny? Oh, sure, there was the time he said we don’t need to worry about education funding none, because Socrates just taught on a rock with a stick, and that was funny, but only rated about 450 MilliGohmerts. Read more on How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?…
  Let's gossip about the week that was!

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People

It's the best day of the week!
Hola, Wonkers, we hope that your Sunday is treating you well. Pull up a chair, for we must now gossip about all the hilarious and CONTROVERSIAL stories that you clicked on the most this week! We thought you would all be super-excited about Marco Rubio running for president, but none of those stories made the top 10, :(. Guess Rubio will never be president now. Also never being President? Hillary Clinton, because none of her stories made the top 10 either! It’s all yours, Rand Paul! Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People…
  waaaaaaah

Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo

Republicans are SO excited at the possibility of the Supreme Court murdering Obamacare, finally, but it won’t all be unicorns and rainbows and the free market allowing you the freedom to die from lack of access to healthcare. There will also be, sigh and eyeroll,  the unfortunate but inevitable attempt by the Obama administration to, like, fix that. This is what keeps Republican Sen. Ron Johnson up at night, apparently: Read more on Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo…
  Christ what an asshole

Florida Turns Down Obamacare Money, Now Suing For More Obamacare Money

Christ, what an asshole
Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Heartless Bastard) was against Medicaid expansion before he was for it, but now he’s back to being against it. Really against it. Of course he still wants federal dollars for his state’s own version of providing health care to low-income patients, but he’ll be goddamned if he’s going to let Obama tyrannize him into taking icky Obamacare dollars. And that is why he will SEE YOU IN COURT, Obama administration: Read more on Florida Turns Down Obamacare Money, Now Suing For More Obamacare Money…
  Teabagger Nice Time

Even This Cuddly Teabagger Dude Might Vote For Hillary, So He Can Keep His Beloved Obamacare

Obamacare yay, gay sprinkles in mah coffee BOO.
Tyrant Obama sure did set a mighty fine trap for the Republican Party, with their constant efforts to repeal Obamacare! With the full benefits of the Affordable Care Act starting to come to fruition in 2014, and even more this year, people around the country — even those who don tri-cornered hats and hold Gadsden Flags at Koch Bros.-funded tea party rallies — are starting to realize, well, goddamn, look at my general healthcare situation getting better! Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers learned this the hard way when her FaceSpace call for “Obamacare horror stories” was met with a whole lot of “my healthcare is cheaper!” and “my grandmother didn’t die!” and “these are my slut pills now!” Read more on Even This Cuddly Teabagger Dude Might Vote For Hillary, So He Can Keep His Beloved Obamacare…
  fail

Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t

This picture is from Rubio's website. On purpose, apparently.
After hinting oh-so-subtly for days and days that he had a Big Announcement! to make on Monday evening, Marco Rubio made a Big Announcement! He is going to be president (no he’s not), but not just any president. He is going to be president of A New American CenturyTM, because he is young and hip and SO down with the kids these days that he doesn’t even need to capitalize his name. THAT is how hip he is. Unlike some candidates (Hillary Clinton), who are really old (Hillary Clinton), and represent yesterday (Hillary Clinton). Read more on Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t…
  A Rest Stop On The Way To Galt's Gulch

Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before

If this terror continues, even more people will have healthcare! God help us!
The number of uninsured Americans continues to decline, as almost 9 out of 10 Americans now have health insurance. This is, of course, proof that Obamacare has completely failed, because the Kenyan Usurper OBVIOUSLY LIED about being able to keep your current insurance plan, and also the website was broken for the first few months. And Socialism. And death panels. Read more on Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before…