Tag Archives: obamacare

  your tax dollars at work

House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)

Just lay back and think about the savings
Republicans love tradition, and that is why on Thursday, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade (haha, take that, ladies!), the House held its traditional vote for the No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act, which they introduce every single congressional session, because tradition! Read more on House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)…
  Who knew health care for kids was popular?

Tennessee To Be Next State To Insure More Kids, Despite Dastardly Obama

Everyone's favorite mascot is back
Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam wants to extend CHIP! Which stands for Children’s Health Insurance Program! Which insures low-income kids, on the theory that even poor kids should be able to see a doctor when they are sick! Wait, what? We thought Tennessee was against Insuring the Poor. Haslam declined Medicaid expansion for Tennessee in 2012, saying crazy things such as: Read more on Tennessee To Be Next State To Insure More Kids, Despite Dastardly Obama…
  How will they 'save' the Constitution next?

Hero Conservatives Will Fix Stupid Framers’ Dumb Constitution

Trivia question from the first week of the 114th Congress: What percentage of proposed changes to the United States Constitution were filed by members of the Constitution-waving, original intent-spouting, Founding Father-worshiping Republican Party? Read more on Hero Conservatives Will Fix Stupid Framers’ Dumb Constitution…
  Oxymorons

GOP Plan To ‘Fix’ Obamacare And ‘Save Workers’ Will Cost $18 Billion, Insure 1 Million Less, Hooray!

Hush, now, it's for your own good
Republicans are wasting precisely zero minutes saving America now that they are in charge of all the parts of Congress, thanks A LOT, voters. Destroying Social Security, giving oil lobbyists the Keystone pipeline they’ve always dreamed of, saving unborned babies from their slutbag mothers, spending more money doing more investigations into how Hillary Rodham Obama murdered Benghazi — and now they’re going to save Obamacare too. Are they not THE BEST? Read more on GOP Plan To ‘Fix’ Obamacare And ‘Save Workers’ Will Cost $18 Billion, Insure 1 Million Less, Hooray!…
  Politigation

With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare

Pic via sugarfreeglow Welcome to 2015, Republicans! With the changing of the year, we assume you’ll be turning over a new leaf, looking toward the future and leaving behind the petty bickering and toddler-like tantrums that characterized 2014. Ha ha, just kidding, of course. Read more on With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare…
  Thanks Texas

Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change

Behold! He stands before us!
2014 was the year when Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) officially renounced his Canadian citizenship and became a true American. It was also the year when Cruz made his first successful title defense of Wonkette’s coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award (National Division). How else did Ted save the soul of America this year? Let’s Wonksplore! Read more on Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change…
  Not Obamacare At All Nope Nope Nope

Tennessee Expands Medicaid, Gets Permission To Not Call It Obamacare

Everyone's favorite mascot is back
Well, here’s a bit of nice time: Tennessee has decided to opt in to the Affordable Care Act’s expansion of Medicaid after all. Of course Republican Gov. Bill Haslam is being very careful to depict the move as a victory over the oppressive federal government: it’s a pilot plan for a program called “Insure Tennessee,” and it’s only set to run two years. No way is this an embrace of the Big Government socialist takeover of healthcare. Sure, it’s going to use federal and state funds to provide coverage for healthcare for low-income Tennesseans, but it’s completely different from Medicaid expansion: Read more on Tennessee Expands Medicaid, Gets Permission To Not Call It Obamacare…
  Rectal Infusions Of American Exceptionalism

Fox News Explains America Is The Best, So Who Cares About Torture?

This isn't about democracy, this is about politics. Which Democracy doesn't need.
The nice folks at Fox News are pretty darn angry about the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report on the CIA’s post-9/11 torture program, but not about anything revealed in the report. No, the great patriots at Fox are mostly angry that the report is being released at all, especially at a time when it will distract from the very important appearance of Obamacare Archfiend Jonathan Gruber, who’s testifying before a House panel today. Obviously, the Dems are just trying to cover up the War Crimes of the Affordable Care Act by nattering on about some Muslims who got their feelings hurt. OK, and at least one guy who was a case of mistaken identity died of hypothermia, and two other guys who were tortured even though they had already worked as CIA informants. But they never called the American people stupid, now did they? You see, it’s all about priorities. Let’s see how Fox Fair And Balanced the shit out of the torture report today! Read more on Fox News Explains America Is The Best, So Who Cares About Torture?…
  Unimpeachable Logic

House Finally (FINALLY) Sues Obama, For Doing Thing House Wanted Obama To Do

Almost sure that's not in Beckett
In a master stroke of timing, the House of Representatives has finally filed that big lawsuit against Barack Obama for his tyrannical actions in using executive orders as if he were some kind of president or something. As you recall, we thought it was dead, only, like Snake Plisskin, it turns out it had just vanished for a while, and then the House finally found a lawyer willing to take the case (who wasn’t Larry Klayman, even), because separation of powers — and now it is ON, Barry. You’ll be lucky if you can Escape From DC! Read more on House Finally (FINALLY) Sues Obama, For Doing Thing House Wanted Obama To Do…
  Blue Crossed Fingers

Here Is A Funny Obamacare Ad, For Funny Joke Times Hooray

You'll be OK. Probably
With Obamacare open enrollment moving right along — and so successful that even John Boehner is keeping his Obamacare — the Illinois ACA exchange, Get Covered Illinois, is running a nifty new ad to inform you that there actually are some no-cost alternatives to having health coverage, like the “Luck Health Plan.” It has no premiums, no deductibles, and only one small down side: no coverage. Read more on Here Is A Funny Obamacare Ad, For Funny Joke Times Hooray…
  Here have some news n stuff

John Boehner to Medicare: Drop Dead!

Finally a reason to smile
For a guy who keeps insisting he will impeach the hell out of Obamacare, Weeper of the House John Boehner sure does seem to like it. A LOT. Now that he is 65 years orange, he’s eligible for Social Security and Medicare, as his good friend across the aisle and excellent Twitter troll Nancy Pelosi reminded him. You’d think he’d be so grateful to finally be able to opt out of a health insurance system he hates so he can opt in to the taxpayer-funded socialized healthcare system known as Medicare. But no! Read more on John Boehner to Medicare: Drop Dead!…
  dept. of having many leather-bound books

Serious Pundit Ron Fournier Tries To Defend Himself, Re-Steps On His Own Dick

Important thoughts from a man who looks like a thumb.
Poop spigot Ron Fournier took quite a hiding on the Internet yesterday over his regular outbreak of “both sides-ism,” and rightly so. Today he is back to try to explain himself with a whiny and defensive column that still manages to be flat-out wrong. If yesterday’s piece was the dumpster fire of centrist columns, today’s is the political pundit equivalent of that Harmony Korine movie about people who like to fuck garbage. And yet, today he’s also getting an example of both sides-ism that is probably giving No Labels an orgasm powerful enough to blow a hole in space. Let’s take a look! Read more on Serious Pundit Ron Fournier Tries To Defend Himself, Re-Steps On His Own Dick…
  leading leaders lead with leadership

Serious Pundit: Dumb Obama Forced GOP To Vote Against GOP Healthcare Plan

Was there any other picture we could have used?
Ron Fournier has written many dumb columns in his career. In fact, Ron Fournier has written only dumb columns in his career. But today he has outdone himself by gracing our political centrists, yearning as they are for some bipartisanship, with the dumbest column of his, nay, of any pundit’s career. This column is the dumpster fire of centrist columns, the shining example of everything wrong with punditry. It should be framed and hung in the Newseum for all to see — at least until the oceans rise enough to drown Washington — as a warning, preferably with a giant sign reading ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO WANT TO GET INVITED ON THE SUNDAY CHAT SHOWS. Read more on Serious Pundit: Dumb Obama Forced GOP To Vote Against GOP Healthcare Plan…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Science Man Wears Tacky Sexist Shirt, Twitter Has Thoughts

The politically correct war on dorks continues
Welcome to Derp Update, your occasional feature where we purge our browsers of stories that didn’t quite merit a whole post, but were too remarkably stupid to ignore altogether. Fear that your brain cells may be harmed by exposure to toxic weirdness? Dilute! Dilute! Read more on Derp Roundup: Science Man Wears Tacky Sexist Shirt, Twitter Has Thoughts…
  Here have some news n stuff

If Only Every Convicted Felon Had A Governor For A Dad, Huh?

Hey, Mr. Governor, can you do me a solid? And can I call you Dad?
Via screen grab Imagine you’re in your early 20s, you live in Arkansas, and you get busted for possession of marijuana, with “intent to deliver.” Maybe that means you’re a dealer, or maybe it’s just your turn to pick up a sack for your friends, and also a pizza while you’re out, bro. Who knows? Now you’re a felon, and that sure sucks, especially because it’s a non-violent, victimless crime, and really, shouldn’t we just decriminalize marijuana anyway because wow is this a waste of time and resources and what is the big damned deal about weed anyway? If your name is Kyle Beebe, that’s probably what you’ve been thinking since 2003, when you got busted and had to pay fines and serve three years of supervised probation. But then, if your name is Kyle Beebe, you can also write a real nice letter to your dad the governor to make it go away. Read more on If Only Every Convicted Felon Had A Governor For A Dad, Huh?…
  She Is A Expert

Meghan McCain: Get Your Own Damn Rich Family, America

OMG, you guys, we are so psyched that Meghan McCain, the young “writer” with the charm of curdled egg nog who pulled herself up by her own stilettos (and also is the daughter of John McCain, which is totally irrelevant), finally figured out for us what is wrong with America. Guess. Read more on Meghan McCain: Get Your Own Damn Rich Family, America…
  Tweet O'The Day

Bill Kristol Finally Admits He’s Stupid

Who you callin' stupid?
Folks, we really honestly genuinely and truly did not think we would live to see this day. Sure, we have called Bill Kristol stupid many times. Many many times. All the times. We’re aiming for the world record on that, really. Read more on Bill Kristol Finally Admits He’s Stupid…
  cruz control

McConnell, Cruz Prepare For Epic Dick-Measuring Contest

“Come now, be reasonable.” On the Fateful November Tuesday That Shall Not Be Named (the one in 2014, not 2010), Calgary’s own Ted Cruz sat down with Wolf Blitzer and was asked if he’d support Mitch McConnell as the next Senate majority leader. Cruz declined to say, as he’s done since August, mostly because Ted Cruz is pretty sure you don’t even need a majority if you’ve already got the smartest, bestest Sen. Ted Cruz on the market. Read more on McConnell, Cruz Prepare For Epic Dick-Measuring Contest…
  Nearly was An Also-Ran

What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!

There's always 2016...
We know what you’re thinking. “Did the bizarro Illinois lady who said that autism, dementia, and tornados are God’s punishment for abortions and ghey marriage actually get elected to Congress?” This being the kind of election year that brought Joni Ernst and James Lankford to the Senate, you’ve got to ask yourselves: “Do I even want to know?” Well, do ya, punks? Let’s just see what happened to some of the more… colorful candidates last week (mostly, the color is red with vein-bursting rage). Read more on What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!…
  RIP Obamacare maybe?

Supreme Court Gets Another Chance To Impeach Obamacare

Maybe SCOTUS will pull the plug on grandma after all
Did you think Obamacare was settled law just because it is the law, and settled, and the Supreme Court agreed that yes, it is the law, and settled? Ha, idiots! As Republicans have been telling us since before President Obama even signed the Affordable Care Act, they will vote to repeal it as many times at it takes — so far, more than 50 — until it is gone forever. And after Tuesday’s election, Sen. Mitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner said AGAIN that they are going to fix all the things the president has done to destroy America by repealing Obamacare, for real this time, which will create jobs somehow, not sure how that works, Republican magic, probably. Read more on Supreme Court Gets Another Chance To Impeach Obamacare…