Tag Archives: obamacare

  But who would ever be that dumb?

Look, It’s Another Republican Calling Bullsh*t On Dumb Obamacare Lawsuit

Yes America is that dumb
No one could have imagined that any state would be stupid enough or evil enough — or both! — to turn down free money to subsidize healthcare for people who need it. Literally, no one. Not even congressional Republicans who worked on the Affordable Care Act, while kicking and screaming the whole time about how it was going to murder all our freedoms and jobs and blah blah blah, whatever, turns out they were all WRONG. Because who would say, “No, I don’t want your icky free federal dollars so the people of my state won’t die”? And yet, here we are, on the verge of a decision by the Supreme Court about whether the law, which includes the words “established by the state,” allows tax subsidies for states that refuse to establish healthcare exchanges, or whether everyone in U.S. America should be able to get healthcare somehow, even if Congress was all clumsy and stupid and sucks at writing laws with words in them. Read more on Look, It’s Another Republican Calling Bullsh*t On Dumb Obamacare Lawsuit…
  Not so excellent news for him though

Excellent News! John McCain Might Get His Butt Kicked, By A Girl

Not a good day to be John McCain
The crusty old crankypants senior senator from Arizona — who will never give up! never surrender! never stop being SO GODDAMNED BITTER about that time he didn’t get to be president, and then that other time he didn’t get to be president — has a problem, and that problem is that nobody likes him at all. (Except for his bastard son Sen. Lindsey Graham, but he doesn’t count, because no one likes him either.) But for reals, pretty much everyone hates John McCain. Democrats, obviously, but even in McCain’s blood red home state, he is WAY unpopular, as a recent poll shows: 71 percent of “very conservative” conservatives think he is sucking at his job like a porn star, but not in a good way. So it’s EXCELLENT NEWS for people who are not John McCain that Democratic Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick has announced she will save you, Arizona, from another six years of John McCain sucking on your behalf: Read more on Excellent News! John McCain Might Get His Butt Kicked, By A Girl…
  Careful what you wish for

Let’s Watch The GOP Cage Fight With Itself About Obamacare, Again

... for Republicans
As Senate Republicans have slowly — very slowly — begun to realize that “We’re trying to take away your healthcare, for your FREEDOM!” is not a very good campaign slogan, they’re trying to figure out how to save themselves and their jobs just in case the Supreme Court agrees with them that subsidized healthcare is ILLEGAL and grants their wish to kill that part of Obamacare, with judicial fire. That’s why Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Asshole) introduced a bill in April to restore subsidies for the millions of Obamacare enrollees who would lose coverage, and Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and the rest of their party’s leadership in the Senate support this legislation because they really care about making sure Americans don’t lose their healthcare. By which we mean they really care about making sure they don’t lose their jobs in the 2016 election. There’s just one teeny tiny problem for Johnson and the rest of his Senate colleagues, and it’s coming from inside the House: Read more on Let’s Watch The GOP Cage Fight With Itself About Obamacare, Again…
  Oh NOW he gets it

Obamacare-Hating Republican Hates Republicans Now, Loves Obamacare

Not how it works after all
Remember how we told you all about Luis Lang, that idiot in South Carolina, who loves freedom even more than he hates his diabetes, so he did not purchase health insurance, take THAT, Obama? And now he needs surgery, and he can’t afford it, and Obamacare enrollment is closed, and his Republican-controlled state refused to take Obamacare dollars to expand Medicaid for people JUST LIKE HIM, and it’s all Obama’s fault? Of course you do, you liberal do-goody bleeding hearts, because you went and gave him all your money on his GoFundMe page, like a bunch of liberal do-goody bleeding hearts. Even though he had always been SO PROUD of paying his medical expenses all on his own, and his awful terrible rotten wife, Mary, whined that her husband should skip to the front of the free money line, now that he needs it, and really, the two of them should fuck ALL the way off, forever, because going broke and dying is the Republican healthcare plan, which is what they chose, for freedom. But no, you people went and gave him your money anyway. Read more on Obamacare-Hating Republican Hates Republicans Now, Loves Obamacare…
  That'll teach you to be poor

It’s Arizona’s Turn To F*ck The Poors, Again

Jesus was a fiscal conservative
Arizona is all out of money, whoops, so the Republicans who control the state have decided, in their fiscally conservative wisdom, to close the $1 billion budget gap by cutting welfare that the federal government pays for. Good plan, guaranteed to work, no? Read more on It’s Arizona’s Turn To F*ck The Poors, Again…
  let's challenge her to a rap battle

Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it’s time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week’s top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband’s charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of “Mitt’s posse.” Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an “Obamaphone.” Read more on Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Derp Different

Jeb Bush Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Apple Watches (Buy Your Own, Loser)

REPLY HAZY TRY AGAIN
“John Ellis Bush” Bush is pretty excited about how the Wonders of Technology could help make us all healthier and happier, like for instance how if everybody had an Apple watch, then they could start taking responsibility for themselves, and we could repeal Obamacare. Read more on Jeb Bush Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Apple Watches (Buy Your Own, Loser)…
  asshole

Evil Gov. Rick Scott Would Rather Shut Down Government Than Give Healthcare To Florida Poors

Hi, I'm Rick Scott, this is what I look like.
Florida is having quite a dumb fight right now, simply because gross reptile Gov. Rick Scott refuses to take federal money to pay for low-income people’s healthcare if it’s got Obamacare all over it. So let’s shut down the government! Read more on Evil Gov. Rick Scott Would Rather Shut Down Government Than Give Healthcare To Florida Poors…
  dirty commie socialists

Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare

This is what Obamacare insurance cards look like, right?
The Texas House did something gross, because it is the Texas House, try not to faint from surprise. House Bill 1514, approved by a vote of 129 to 8, would require that a special designation — “QHP” — be added to insurance cards for plans purchased through the Affordable Care Act’s online exchanges, just so your doctor knows how gross you are. Originally, the bill included the designation QHP-S, which would have added an extra special “fuck the poors” scarlet letter to the insurance cards of people who qualified for subsidies under Obamacare, but that part was removed from the final bill that passed, which liberal blogs and mainstream newspapers would know if they READ A GODDAMNED BILL ONCE IN A WHILE: Read more on Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare…
  Fuck these guys

Obamacare-Hating Idiot Super-Pissed Obama Won’t Pay His Doctor Bills Now That He Needs It

Waaaaaah
Most Americans, even the dumb ones, even the Republican ones, were pretty stoked when they finally had the opportunity, for the first time in their lives, to afford health care insurance, thanks to Obamacare. Like this proud Reagan-lovin’ tea party member who’s probably voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016 because he really likes his Obamacare and doesn’t want Republicans to take it away from him. Read more on Obamacare-Hating Idiot Super-Pissed Obama Won’t Pay His Doctor Bills Now That He Needs It…
  Go on and spite that face

Moocher Red States Still Don’t Want Free Healthcare Money With Obama’s Name On It

Morans
While more than half of our American U.S. states are proficient enough at math to conclude that free dollars from the federal government to expand healthcare access to low-income citizens is a really good deal, some Republicans who are terrible at math and terrible at legislating and terrible in general still can’t quite add it up. Five years after passage of the Affordable Care Act, some red states are still debating, or outright refusing, free money because they just really REALLY hate President Obama: Read more on Moocher Red States Still Don’t Want Free Healthcare Money With Obama’s Name On It…
  fair's fair

Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors

Not as fun as new car :(
Everybody who isn’t A Dumb knows that drug testing welfare recipients doesn’t actually work, because SURPRISINGLY, poor people don’t actually live by the parameters of a typical Rush Limbaugh rant about welfare queens getting high off government paychecks and smoking drugs. Shocking, we know. Of course, Republicans still love the idea because A) they DO get their worldview from those Limbaugh rants, and B) they get to shame poor people! Yay! And now Republican Jason Schultz, state senator out of Iowa, has come up with a truly loving, Christian idea, just so nobody can say they’re singling out all those poors for unfair treatment: Read more on Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors…
  Yes the law is the law even for ladycare

Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag

Pay the fuck up
It should not be necessary for the Obama administration to tell health insurance companies, “Seriously, you have to, it’s THE LAW!” about the requirements of the Affordable Care Act, but alas. It seems the insurance industry figured the Department of Health and Human Services’s specific guidelines for coverage of women’s preventive health care were, like, suggestions. Not the actual law that insurance companies are required to follow, because it is THE LAW: Read more on Yes, Insurance Companies Have To Cover Your Vag…
  Healthcare for me but not for thee

Oh Look At All These Tennessee Republicans Who Love Taxpayer-Funded Healthcare, But Just For Themselves, No One Else

... for Republicans
Tennessee Republicans are damned sure the citizens of their fine state love freedom a lot more than they love taxpayer-funded health insurance. Which is why they are ready to die on the Obamacare hill and wage all-out war against Republican Gov. Bill Haslam’s attempt to expand “not Obamacare” Medicaid to insure an additional 280,000 Tennesseans, to keep socialized insurance out of Tennessee. For the regular people, that is. For the state’s legislators, taxpayer-funded healthcare is (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone) just fine, thanks. Read more on Oh Look At All These Tennessee Republicans Who Love Taxpayer-Funded Healthcare, But Just For Themselves, No One Else…
  This Fuckin' Guy

Florida Gov. Rick Scott: Yes, I Am A Lying Piece Of Sh*t

Yes, he's a monster
Need another reason to hate Florida’s governor with the fire of a thousand suns melting the ice caps to drown the state, even though you’re not allowed to say that there? Probably not, but Rick Scott is nothing if not ambitious, so here ya go, have some more hate for the guy: Read more on Florida Gov. Rick Scott: Yes, I Am A Lying Piece Of Sh*t…
  Yeah we already got the memo

Senate Republicans Pass Meaningless ‘Budget’ Just To Prove They’re Dicks

Suck it, America
In another display of bold, big boy leadership, Senate Republicans just barely passed a budget resolution on Tuesday, which serves no purpose whatsoever other than putting on the record, again, that they are the party of terrible people who want to do terrible things to America. As if we didn’t already know. Read more on Senate Republicans Pass Meaningless ‘Budget’ Just To Prove They’re Dicks…
  Save us Democrats you're our only hope

Senate Republicans Introduce Bill To Protect Obamacare From Senate Republicans

Waaaaaah
Obamcare is SO bad and SO unpopular and SO epic fail, and that is why the American people have been looking to the GOP all these years to save them from the awful thing. And now Senate Republicans have a plan to do just that — with a bill to protect Obamacare: Read more on Senate Republicans Introduce Bill To Protect Obamacare From Senate Republicans…
  Bleat On The Brat

How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?

American Pony is Superior Pony! And Smarter than David Brat.
Gosh, remember when former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost his primary to some Tea Party loon named David Brat, and we laughed and laughed and looked forward to all the crazy stupid stuff Brat would do in Congress? Except how Brat was just kind of garden variety dumb, and not generally all that funny? Oh, sure, there was the time he said we don’t need to worry about education funding none, because Socrates just taught on a rock with a stick, and that was funny, but only rated about 450 MilliGohmerts. Read more on How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?…