Obama
Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool
Oh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a [...]
GOP Puts Politics In Terms That Lady Voters Can Understand
This is the THING about lady voters you guys: they do not understand anything about politics or policy, it is too complex with them. If you want ladies to vote for your candidate, you must therefore explain things in terms they can understand, using metaphors about periods and boyfriends and shopping and whatnot. This is [...]
Not At All Racist or Sexist National Review Staff Tells You Why Not to Vote For The President
We need to get that uppity negro out of the White House because he only signs the back of checks instead of the front of them, but we are not racist! (says the National Review Online Staff). And also! The people who point out that we’re racist — THOSE are the real racists, OF COURSE. [...]
Lubbock County Still Going on About the U.N. and Armed Insurrection
Here is the thing about tax increases: they are bad! No matter what! PERIOD END OF STORY. Except, of course, if they fund a paramilitary to create an insurrection and rebellion in the United States, in which case they are GOOD. An armed insurrection might come in handy down in Lubbock, Texas, if Obama reelected. [...]
Hero Gov Jan Brewer Protects Arizona From Scourge Of DREAM Act Kids Getting Drivers Licenses
Well HI Arizona, what are you doing to be the greatest state in the union today? In one corner, we have Louisiana, which allows your child to learn about the Loch Ness monster in science class (except if your child is Islamic, and thus doesn’t deserve to learn about the Loch Ness monster), and in another [...]
Vengeful God, Iowa Rep. Steve King, Will Smite Every Bill Obama Ever Signed Into Law
Oh hi Steve King (R-His Own Sphincter), what paranoid delusional BS are you blabbing about today? You will remember Steve King as the gentleman who advocated for the legality of animal cruelty because of the theoretical legality of a VERY detailed scenario (fantasy?) involving abducting a 13 year old girl from a swing set, raping [...]
Guy Who Thinks Small Business Loans Aren’t ‘Government Help’ Also Can’t Tell Cusses From Threats
So it turns out that the business owner in that dumb Romney ad about the fake “You didn’t build that” line, and who it turns out actually did rely on government loans and contracts for some of his business, now haz a sad because some people have been calling and emailing his business to say [...]
Wall Street Journal: Why Is Obama Siding With College Students Against These Poor Banks?
Yesterday, we learned a lot of fun facts about the one trillion dollar student loan bubble! Like the fact that student loans (unlike any other unsecured line of credit) cannot be discharged in bankruptcy, so the debt will never, ever go away, not even if you die, and that banks will even garnish your social [...]
Fox & Friends: Why Is History’s Greatest Monster Barack Obama Picking On These Little Girls?
Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Ever on the cutting edge of political thought, Fox & Friends has a simple, commonsense reply to Pres. Obama’s insane notion that a modern economy depends on a combination of public and private investment: Oh, yeah? Mr. Big Government? What about little kids’ lemonade stands, which are a perfect [...]
Romney’s Tax Man Cometh
Poor, poor Mitt. He and his dancing horse have been having a tough go of it lately. Turns out he may (or may not!) have lied to the SEC about the good times he had at Bain capital between 1999 and 2002, presiding over the disposal of dead fetuses unborn babies before retroactively retiring. Then a [...]
Donald Trump To Build Garish Condos On Iranian Riviera
Oh, man, this is what happens when Donald Trump reads the liberal media! It just reaffirms all of his most terrifying fever-dreams. For instance, the New York Times reports that Barack Obama is implementing a policy of containment and saber-rattling against Iran, which is pretty much the same policy that George W. Bush engaged in [...]
Watch This Congressional Fellow Yelling Fast And Furiously About The Rule of Law And Whatnot
What is Congressman Trey Gowdy (R-SC) yelling about today? And if that name seems familiar, it is because he was in the news about a year ago for comparing same sex marriage to incest and on Fox “News” a few days ago referring to Nancy Pelosi as “mind numbingly stupid.” And then a few days [...]
Here Is Glenn Beck’s Very Unique 2012 Electoral Map
Well, over on whatever website or smelly airwave Glenn Beck currently resides, Beck and his friends/unpaid interns have decided to make some predictions about the 2012 presidential election upon which the fate of the universe rides. Here is Glenn’s measured and educated guess! Wow, good.
Obama Biographer Accused of ‘Fraud’ for Editing Obama’s ‘Appalling’ Grammar Skills
The truth has come out: Barack Obama is not a genius. We’re sorry, we know you have always thought this to be true. But a very serious man and inadvertent Obama scholar by the name of Jack Cashill has encountered some EGREGIOUS ERRORS (subtle grammatical changes) in letters that were printed in the new Obama [...]
Barack Obama Would Like Anyone With A Gift Registry To Just Give To Him Instead
President Obama, that is his name, has come up with a brilliant new way to try to beat his opponent Mitt Romney at money-making, despite the fact that they seem to have more money than anyone would need to do anything, except maybe buy a Hawaiian island!!!!!! Isn’t it strange that we have to pay [...]
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