Oh hello there. Happy Sunday! Were you just chillin’ out maxin’ and relaxin’ or were you thinking “gosh, I would really like to read eleventy million words about Rand Paul”? If the latter, the Sunday New York Times has got your back, Jack. Did we read the complete history of Rand, son of Ron? Oh, […]

Are you tired of thinking of Justin Bieber? Too bad, because now we’ve had some derpy weigh-ins from Rush Limbaugh AND Ben Shapiro, and even better, they do not agree with each other about the social meta-significance of Justin Bieber, so you just know we’re going to talk about it some more. In this corner, […]

We have said this before and we will say it again. We do not actually think Megyn Kelly is dumb. Well, we think she is dumb in the sort of way we think leggings worn as pants are dumb, which is to say we think they shouldn’t exist. But we do not think Megyn Kelly […]

You guys, David Kupelian over at WND has eavesdropped on the secret No Republicans Allowed treehouse and figured out all of the Democrats’ evil plans! We are so busted. He knows that the entire point of Obamacare and really of Obama himself is just to create chaos so that we can grab everyone’s guns and […]

Are you part of the one-hundred-and-eleventy percent of America that is freezing right now? Have you barricaded yourself in your house and then set the house on fire, for warmth? Have you taken to wearing your pets as housecoats? Whose fault is that, hmmmmm? Is it global warming causing increasingly catastrophic weather? Is it a […]

Today’s New York Times dives right in to making sure that conservatives hate it, and not just because it isn’t just wall-to-wall birf certificate yelling and hilarious cartoons about lynching the president and reviews of new Ted Nugent albums. The Times is glorifying the apostate gun writers, who are one step away from gun grabbers. […]

Oh, Israel. You are the focus of conservative End Times fetishists everywhere, because the Christian end of the world narrative runs right through you (sorry!) and that makes you beloved by a certain brand of weirdo. Also, too, you’re our new best friend because we broke up with England. WE BROKE UP WITH THEM FIRST […]

It’s tough when your heroes let you down. Take Toby Keith, for example. His restaurant, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill, should be a place where a man brings his guns and his prayer book and his Obummer = Socialist shirt. But Toby Keith turns out to be a filthy gun-hating Democrat liebrul. […]

And the drumbeat march of teh gheys oppressing straight conservatives everywhere goes on. Since Friday, when a federal district court judge in Utah invalidated that state’s same-sex marriage ban, hundreds of gay people have gotten married, which means, of course, that hundreds of straight marriages have been destroyed because that’s always a 1:1 ratio, duh. […]

Hey, Wonkedorians, what are you up to this Thanksgiving, or Hanukkah, or Thanksgivukkah? Were you hoping that the Secret Service would bust down your door during the turkey carving, or would you prefer they wait until later in the day when you’re drunk on the couch watching football? Then consider declaring that you have the […]

Finally, here’s a story about an idiot with a gun that we can laugh at without feeling like terrible people! Last Tuesday evening, Some Unknown Guy went to the Winkler Street GNC in Wilkesboro, North Carolina, like we all do when we need to buy some foul-tasting dehydrated fat to make us fatter, or just […]

So it looks like Obama is no longer content with wrecking our country with his socialist health care and his general Kenyan Muslin pretendering. First, he made the Marines use umbrellas to cover his treasonous head. Now, in a move we all should have seen coming, thanks to what a monster in human form he […]

Oh, New York Times. We mock, but we love. Really, we love. But we love you like we love a great-uncle who is delightfully politically astute and well-informed, but stops himself mid-discourse on the intricacies of whether to succumb to censorship in China to sell your book there to shake his fists impotently at the […]

So what is up with giant bloviating bag of gas Rush Limbaugh lately? Oh, just some painfully easy-to-mock made-up economic history wherein Clinton did bad things, Bamz caused bad things to happen BACKWARDS IN TIME just by being black, and George W. Bush was a white knight that tried to fix it all with regulators, […]

A hundred years from now, maybe a dozen misanthropic trolls will know that Mike Lee was a Republican Senator from Utah and that he was dear friends with our first Canadian president, Ted Cruz. But in the here and now, Mike Lee is important, or something, at least we guess he is because we keep […]