Tag Archives: obama jobs speech

  flying turd monsters

Michele Bachmann Must Now Pray To Sewage Monster For Relevance

San Diego was apparently not the only place the Sewage Monster struck last night. It’s true, it’s on the Internet! That is our conclusion from watching two seconds of this Michele Bachmann “rebuttal” speech, a gospel of toxic ooze delivered in the dank purgatory of Washington last night, to tell Barack Obama he is an equally filthy wastrel. We almost did not notice, because that is not “our kind of porn.”  Read more on Michele Bachmann Must Now Pray To Sewage Monster For Relevance…
  whiners whining

Twitter Bars GOP Lawmaker From Attending Obama Jobs Speech

Isn’t Twitter just the best? Thank Allah for Twitter, teabagger Rep. Paul Broun will not have to sit through Barack Obama’s filthy jobs speech in front of Congress. Instead, Broun will be obligated to keep his tradition of hiding in his wicked Washington opium cave during Obama’s important addresses so that he can bark mangled opinions — about what, the horrors of employment? — from his Twitter account during the speech like some feverish Taliban warlord with a fear of irrelevance and an Internet connection. Don’t worry so much, Paul Broun, no one was assuming you or anyone else in the Tea Party were going to be listening that whole time, anyway. Read more on Twitter Bars GOP Lawmaker From Attending Obama Jobs Speech…
  the town crier

Joe Walsh Refuses To Attend Obama Jobs Speech That Isn’t About Him

Screechy teabagger sideshow clown Joe Walsh announced he will not be a political “prop” in Barack Obama’s jobs speech and will under no conditions sit still for a one-hour talk about unemployment that does not involve him. You tell ‘em, Deadbeat Joe! If anyone is going to benefit from someone using Joe Walsh as a political prop, it better be Joe Walsh. Joe Walsh will stay at home hosting a sleepover party for small business owners and giving his own speeches about job creation, probably more than one of them, even. Take that, Obama!  The thing is, Walsh loves to snort and sneeze hyperbolic tears of apocalypse and damnation about the terrible regulations and taxes on small businesses that the GOP talks about like the bubonic plague, but we noticed another article next to the Joe Walsh article on McClatchy about the way small business owners actually feel about these beloved perennial Tea Party horrors. What do they have to say? Read more on Joe Walsh Refuses To Attend Obama Jobs Speech That Isn’t About Him…
  system fail

Michele Bachmann’s Analysis: Obama Hopes No One Watches Jobs Speech

The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann’s mental Windows Vista operating system ran some kind of analysis akin to a trapped fly trying to fight its way out of a jar of glue with net result computation that Barack Obama only wanted to schedule his originally-planned September 7 jobs speech at the same time as the California GOP debate so that no one would pay any attention to it. “Either a) he wants to distract the American people so they don’t watch him, or b) he doesn’t want the American people to hear what the next president of the United States is going to say,” Bachmann told a sparsely assembled gathering of nimrods in Iowa. See what she did there? In a normal “either/or” construction, the speaker is usually obligated to present two competing alternatives, but Michele’s analysis is so sound she figured she’d offer the same theory twice. “Either he doesn’t want anyone to watch, or he doesn’t want anyone to pay attention!”   Read more on Michele Bachmann’s Analysis: Obama Hopes No One Watches Jobs Speech…