Obama
Americans Elect, the organization that tried to get America to nominate a centrist third-party candidate using the futuristic World Wide Web, has basically admitted defeat. Yes, in America, an idiot can become president, but a well-meaning yet mysterious group of people who took the time to actually get on the ballot in 27 states cannot [...]
After a man went on television for a very low-profile announcement that he is now back to feeling about gay marriage the way he felt in the fun 90s, the world erupted in praise … and backhanded praise and faint praise and no praise AT ALL! You are surprised, we know. Jim Daly, the boss [...]
In 2008, blight on society Mitt Romney called for the government to “let Detroit go bankrupt” in none other than a New York Times op-ed called “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt,” published a week after the loser he lost to lost to Obama. Romney continued to hold the beliefs ghost-written in that article well into late [...]
Hey peeps! How was your May Day? Are you in jail right now? Good for you! Are you still trying to get out of Union Square? How’s that going? Slow, huh? Well, wish you were here on the couch, drinking tasty Fat Tires and waiting for Bammerz to come on the teevee and … announce [...]
Over the weekend in Wheeling, Illinois, to a raucous crowd of eight to nine undecided voters, Representative Joe Walsh, avid Tea Partier, said a very cordial thing about the President: he’s only in the position that he’s in so that we, America, could finally say that we aren’t racist (“One of my presidents is black”). [...]
Yesterday, late-night television, today, THE FAMILY FARM! President Obama is on a quest to ruin all the fun the conservatives are having now they’ve got a/their man, and the latest method is to tell people who own farms that their children can’t necessarily work on them because they are children? Crazy. “For generations children and [...]
Mitt Romney is touring America for some reason, and on Thursday he was in Lorain, Ohio, at a National Gypsum plant that is no longer open, which he LOVES to do despite the fact that he was complicit in the closure of more things than many presidents. During this sadsack appearance the presumptive/uous Republican nominee [...]
Peoria, IL – Bishop Daniel Jenky was conducting his Sunday message to a small group of Catholic followers in his modest countryside church, nestled in Peoria, Illinois. Bishop Jenky really knows how to deliver a powerful message. And just as Jesus would have done, he compared President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin. [...]
We have found the one musician who would not be enraged to find one of his songs used without permission at a conservative orgy somewhere in America: he is of course Ted Nugent, who attended the NRA’s annual ball gala cotillion this past weekend to sing “songs,” show his support of fast-acting weaponry, and tell [...]
Everything was going great with the women and the men, who stopped fighting against women/each other this weekend just long enough to watch ‘Shark Tank’ and eat a few hot dogs, but now Michelle Obama has something to say. It is a picture, which as you know can say a lot, especially if the picture [...]
Dick Cheney has a new heart, and is ready to tell the world of the darkness that is inside it. This weekend, the former vice president showed up at the Republican state convention in Wyoming to tell a crowd what they wanted to hear (there seems to be a lot of money in this!) Sitting [...]
“Wheels up, rings off,” amirite Secret Service? Maybe! Everything we know about this sexxxy new scandal we learned from Twitter! What else does Twitter have to tell us about the #SecretService getting bom dia-ed in Colombia? * Pay your prostitute DUMBASS. * They had a Groupon. * 10 Recommendations For a quicker and much easier [...]
Herman Cain’s taking advantage of the post-Santorum era, yes he is, with a new video reminding us of a tax plan too incomprehensible to distract America from true tales of sex and cash. Due to Cain’s need to, maybe, provide himself and his family with food and shelter using super PAC funds, the video is [...]
Biggest loser Mitt Romney employs some real lumps, as evidenced by a spokesperson’s comment Wednesday regarding the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act, which, in the words of its namesake, and YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, but, heh, Mr. Romney doesn’t, “ensures women have the tools to get equal pay for equal work.” When Huffington Post [...]
