Obama
Republicans Knew About IRSgate Too, Will Now Have To Investigate Themselves
Don’t you just hate when this happens? You’re desperately flailing about for years and years, trying to find just the right faux scandal to investigate so you can finally impeach President Obama (calm down, Jason Chaffetz, no, it isn’t time yet). Maybe it will be the fake-but-real birth certificate. Maybe it will be a rumor that [...]
Tuesday Nice Time: Barack Obama Totally Cool To Gay Dudes At Black College
With the disastrous tornado yesterday, and the yelling back and forth between the Editrix and various internet peoples, it’s high time we had some Nice Time! And who better to provide it than His Excellency, Guiding Sun Ray, and Dear Leader Barack H. Obama. At a graduation ceremony to all-male, historically black Morehouse College on [...]
Skinflint Obamas Avoid The Taxman By ‘Giving’ All Their Money to ‘Charity’
Skinflint cheapo miser Barack Obama and his dumb “wife” “Michelle” “Obama” are total hypocrites now, as if you did not see that coming, because they only paid 18 percent and change in taxes this year, and they think that just because they gave 25 percent of their income to charity in 2012, that somehow makes [...]
Bored Wingnuts Invent ‘Pastor Problem’ for Obama Because Hey, Why Not, Nothing Else Is Working
Hide the children, cover your ears, and run for the hills, because this is the absolute worst thing that has ever happened. TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!!!!! for President Obama doing something even worse than winning the presidency — twice! President Obama attended an Easter service with his family today at St. John’s Episcopal Church near the White [...]
Good Christian Wingnuts Furious Obama Forced Google To Honor Some Brown Dude Instead of Jesus
It’s been at least three seconds since the crackpots cooked up a good conspiracy theory about Obama Hitler Kenya Muslims Socialism Something Something BENGHAZIIIII!!!!!, so we are all very relieved that the Easter Bunny brought us this shiny new bauble of crazy: On Easter Sunday, Google is honoring the birthday of the late labor organizer [...]
Joe ‘You Lie!’ Wilson Books Flight To Israel To Have Fun Debate With American President, Apparently
Israel’s most hated enemy/most Jewishest president yet Barack Obama is in the Holy Land today, and somebody went all Code Pink on him (we assume; the protester must have been an anti-drone civil libertarian, right? Right? Because conservatives all have impeccable manners and Respect for the Office of the Presidency and would never be so [...]
Peggy Noonan Will Now Slur Her One-Million Word Book Report At You
We still get a wee thrill of joy every time there’s a new Peggy Noonan column. There’s a certain sad delight in watching someone who penned some of the best speeches of the last 50 years turn into the drunk lady at the country club – persistent, but mostly harmless. Before you ask, no we [...]
John Boehner To Poors: We Want To Pay You Less To Help You
Well, that was fast! John Boehner has taken a close look at President Obama’s minimum wage proposal and after less than 24 hours of careful deliberation, has decided that Poors are doing just fine, thanks, and also, we must pay Poors very little and this is the best way to help them. “When you raise [...]
Wingnut Congresswoman Demands To See Obama’s Longform Skeet-Shooting Video
This might be the first time ever that right-wingers accused a black man of not having a gun. OB (Original Birther) Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) appeared Monday night on CNN, and totally didn’t believe that Obama goes skeet-shooting, as he told the New Republic. “If he is a skeet-shooter, why have we not heard of this? [...]
Public Broadcasting Finally Sacks Up And Hires A Real Man Who Will Tell The Truth About Obama
Much to our eternal dismay, Georgia Public Broadcasting is, like all gumbmit-funded liebrul media, totally racist against conservatives. You can just tell from their website. It is full of wussy liberal programming like Downton Abbey and wussy stories about how not to be a bully. So we’re glad they manned up and hired a good solid [...]
Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Blames Gun Control Agenda On Sad Orphan Obama
So here is America’s Worst Psychiatrist, Fox’s Dr. Keith Ablow, explaining to Lou Dobbs his deep insight into Barack Obama’s pathological obsession with taking guns away: the President still suffers from his feelings of abandonment from his childhood, so he seeks to have the government run everyone’s lives as some sort of surrogate family, a [...]
Wingnuts Furious: Hypocrite Obama Not Serving Sprouts With Side Of Sprouts For Inauguration Lunch
Inauguration scandal! Obama is eating lunch today, and it is not half a grapefruit, with water and a side of sprouts! From the Washington Times, covering Their Watergate: The ceremonial lunch President Obama and his former congressional colleagues are eating Monday tops out at 3,000 calories, according to a website that has tallied up the [...]
Only Local Law Enforcement Can Protect You From The Tyranny Of Federal Law Enforcement
Guns. guns. guuuuuunnnnnnns. gunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsguns. That’s all we’re going to talk about forever and ever, mostly thanks to people like this: Saying Americans should be able to “defend themselves from tyranny,” state Rep. Joe Carr said today he is proposing a bill that would allow federal agents to be arrested for enforcing new gun-control laws. Carr, [...]
Obama Lies About How Much He Liked Daniel Inouye Because Whatever
President Obama delivered a eulogy at the funeral services for recently deceased Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye, but OBVIOUSLY LIED AND EXAGGERATED ALL HIS TIES TO INOUYE because, as National Review writer Patrick Brennan points out, Inouye is basically nowhere to be found in the Bill Ayers’s best-seller Dreams From My Father: The Rise of Comrade [...]
Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts
Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed [...]
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