Wonkette

So this guy in Orlando was driving, at night, when he suddenly noticed a gazillion cars all covered in goofy graffiti saying “Obama smokes crack.” But that’s only the beginning of the troubling evidence at the crime scene pointing to a NOBAMA PUMA Just Say No Deal Hillary Clinton 4 EVA Conspiracy. MORE »

The frustrating 2008 Democratic primary season has been made even more insufferable by the Obama campaign staff’s refusal to talk smack about any of their coworkers. This leaves a bitter press corps with no fun tidbits to write about, which is why it’s still good that Hillary Clinton is in the race. Basically, Barack Obama is like the George Bush of 2000, commanding a team of eerily happy and loyal drones who will all become torture-loving yes-men once they seize the reins of power. The secrets to Barack’s success, after the jump. MORE »

Why wait until tonight to get sick of goddamned St. Patrick’s Day? Do it now! Did you know there are many “Irish songs” on the YouTube dedicated to the “Black Irish” candidacy of Barack “O’bama” Obama? Well, there are! MORE »

Wonkette tipster Matt Spiegler spotted this at a polling station in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, where a bake sale was also being held. Never before has a bake sale sign so trenchantly captured the struggle at the core of our “national conversation.” MORE »

According to John Zogby’s latest poll, Republican Senator John “Walnuts!” McCain is leading pretty much everywhere except in the great state of California, where conservatives want a leader with executive experience and magic underoos. MORE »

Hey look fellas, Johnny “I motivate people by talking about insurance companies” Edwards has won the New Hampshire town elections! Wait — how can 100% of precincts be reporting? Isn’t this election supposed to go on for a while, like at least several more years? Something here smells like bullshit… and this Politico results map is also false. Although Hillary’s 5.9% seems just a tetch too REAL. Anyway, what else is going on in Manch Vegas today? MORE »

Bill Kristol’s inaugural New York Times column appeared today and it confirmed our suspicion that Kristol’s head is so far up his ass that he views the world from inside his own mouth, which might, actually, explain his world view. He’s like to thank Obama for opening up a can of whup-ass on Hillary in Iowa, not that he in any way likes anything about Obama and, oh, by the way, he has some really, really good reasons for that:

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Thanks to a kind tipster, we spent part of yesterday perusing the anagrams of our presidential candiates, which included Hillary Rodham Clinton (Damn Chilly Iron Harlot), Rudy Giuliani (I Rig Dolphin Luau), John Edwards (D’oh! Jaws Nerd) and Joe Biden (I Need Job). Strange, right? After the jump, The Dimmer Switch sheds some light. MORE »