Tag Archives: NYT

  This is what a feminist looks like we guess?

Some Chicks Like Granny Panties, And The NYT Is ON IT!

Take THAT, patriarchy!
From the august pages of our nation’s newspaper of record, which always keeps us apprised of the national zeitgeist — like how Jeb Bush doesn’t eat enough fatty foods for Real Americans to vote for him, and some little boys don’t like wearing jeans — comes this latest trend watch from the always absurd style section of the New York Times: Read more on Some Chicks Like Granny Panties, And The NYT Is ON IT!…
  journamalism

Judith Miller Knows Who To Blame For Her Crap Iraq War Reporting (Hint: Not Judith Miller)

Pure gender-neutral evil
Judith Miller, disgraced former propagandist for the Bush administration (and also former reporter for the New York Times) — now a Fox News contributor, OF COURSE — is still defending herself and the blood on her hands, with a new book, GRRRR. As if it weren’t bad enough that she spent a good part of last year defending poor Dick Cheney from the mean liberal media who can’t just get over that whole “they lied us into war” thing already, she also wants the world to know whose fault it was that she was in on the con job: Read more on Judith Miller Knows Who To Blame For Her Crap Iraq War Reporting (Hint: Not Judith Miller)…
  Clintongate Part Whatever

Hillary Clinton Did An Email Thing That May Or May Not Be Wrong, And The NYT Is ON IT

Maybe not so ready for planet Hillary yet
The New York Times reported an explosive breaking exclusive ZOMG! Clinton scandal on Monday night, so turn on the Drudge Siren and grab your splooge sock because CLINTON SCANDAL!!!! Hillary Rodham Clinton exclusively used a personal email account to conduct government business as secretary of state, State Department officials said, and may have violated federal requirements that officials’ correspondence be retained as part of the agency’s record. Read more on Hillary Clinton Did An Email Thing That May Or May Not Be Wrong, And The NYT Is ON IT…
  Here have some news n stuff

At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs

Take a nap on your own time
It would seem the editorial writers of the usually sedate New York Times are a tad miffed about a thing. And it’s not how hard it is to find good help these days to make organic artisanal vegan food for Little Junior, or how the ladies need to stop being more successful than the menfolk and just marry whatever Tom, Dick, or Harry is interested. Nope, the Times is, in fact, righteously and justifiably a tad miffed — and by “a tad miffed,” we mean AS MAD AS HELL at New York’s “finest” — and they are NOT going to take it anymore: Read more on At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat, Sorry ‘Bout That Nazi Pasta, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Who needs more coffee? And donuts? You, you over there, you were supposed to bring the donuts. BREAKING!!! Stop the presses (or the pixels, whatever): Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty. Now you know. Read more on Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat, Sorry ‘Bout That Nazi Pasta, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Our Anger Hits New Highs Though

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Ross Douthat Hits A New Low Even For Him Edition

This week’s Times leads, like pretty much every other news source in America, with the release of American prisoner of war Bowe Bergdahl, imprisoned by Afghan insurgents for five years. Rather than be happy that our sole POW got to return to American soil, the GOP took this as an opportunity to whine about Obama. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Ross Douthat Hits A New Low Even For Him Edition…
  We're Not Even Kidding

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Don’t You Dare Say “Not All Men” Edition

As it damn well should, the Times leads with the horrific shooting in California Friday night, but nothing about the Times’s dispassionate reporting style can capture the godawful misogyny that is at the core of Eliot Rodger’s murderous rampage in Santa Barbara. To its credit (?), the Times does link to Rodger’s full manifesto, which is a document that oozes hate for women, that causes the hair on the back of your neck and your arms to prickle with sick recognition: this might be mental illness, but it is an illness that is not unfamiliar to women who routinely and disproportionately are the victims of harassment, neglect, violence, and death at the hands of men. Rodger’s actions were an extreme manifestation of a cultural view that is not actually uncommon: that women “owe” men attention, that women who don’t put out are bitches, that women who do put out — for other guys, of course — are sluts, and all these women get what they “deserve” — violence from men. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Don’t You Dare Say “Not All Men” Edition…
  With Special Bonus Ronald Reagan Slash Fic

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Let’s Put This Whole Jill Abramson Mess Behind Us Edition

Hahaha you know what is NOT front page news at the Times today? Jill Abramson’s unceremonious departure from said Times, which is still front page news everywhere else. The NYT tucks it back on page 20, and it’s about a self-serving little statement from Arthur Sulzberger Jr., who is slowly digging himself a hole to China. Short version: not his fault, totes her fault, NYT loves the ladies. Shut the fuck up, Pinch. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Let’s Put This Whole Jill Abramson Mess Behind Us Edition…
  today we are all sportsball fans

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special NFL Crams Michael Sam Down America’s Throats Edition

You better believe that the St. Louis Rams drafting Michael Sam, the first openly gay football-flavored sportsball player, in the seventh round of the NFL draft, is one of the lead stories in today’s New York Times. The Times does its usual dispassionate bit of reporting about it, but if you’d like to tear up a bit about the whole thing, go watch the video (ESPN had cameras at Sam’s house) of Sam tearing up and hugging and kissing his boyfriend. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special NFL Crams Michael Sam Down America’s Throats Edition…
  once you see you can't unsee

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Goes Dancing Edition

There is probably no better way to start your NYT Sunday (and no better way to gird your loins against reading Ross Douthat later) than checking out the big piece on how North Carolina Republicans are eating themselves alive as moderately awful candidates battle severely awful candidates in the Republican primary for Senate so that one of them can fling themselves messily against incumbent Democrat Kay Hagan. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Goes Dancing Edition…
  nice day for a red wedding

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Binge-Watching With MoDo Edition

Today’s Sunday Times is still full of basketball sportsball, with stories on both of those games. SPOILER ALERT: your bracket still sucks. SECOND SPOILER ALERT: the NCAA sucks and is nothing but an elaborate way to make money off kids it turns around and ensures can make no money off themselves at that stage in their lives, and also too the NCAA is an insanely locked down promotional machine. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Binge-Watching With MoDo Edition…
  dear stabby

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Painfully Obvious Advice Edition

Let’s start with the best Sunday New York Times news of all: Thomas Friedman has the week off. There’s also news about how there’s no news about the missing plane and a reminder that your March Madness bracket is a mess with Syracuse losing to Dayton. The Times also covers Fred Phelps’s death and reminds us that the virulent nonsense cause of his church — full time gaybashing — is a lost and dying cause, thank skygod. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Painfully Obvious Advice Edition…
  green eggs and slam

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Sexy CPAC Edition

Hello! Still bleary-eyed from losing that hour of sleep? Us too! We’re going to blame that for any missteps in this week’s Sunday Times roundup. First off, of course, is the big exciting political news that beloved conervative bullyboy icon Rand Paul won the CPAC straw poll, which means soon he will be your president, just like Mitt Romney. Coming in second was the illustrious Ted Cruz, who probably lost the nod because Sarah Palin grifted away with a version of his nonsense usage of Green Eggs and Ham schtick. Poor Ted. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Sexy CPAC Edition…
  the thrill of victory and the agony of maureen dowd

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special All Olympics All The Time Edition

Maybe you missed that there’s a sporting competition/clash of nations going on, so the NYT will make sure you have one million Olympics words to read. You think you don’t need to read those words because you already saw everything on TV, but you misunderestimate the NYT for their ability to run quirky pieces that get little details no one else does. Take, for instance, their piece on yesterday’s women’s mogul race. Did you watch moguls yesterday? Moguls are ridic, what with the skiing over horrifying enormous bumps and then also too needing to do flippy shit off of ramps mid-run. There was an American favorite in the race, Hannah Kearney, that you could not escape hearing about because American. The NYT covers a bit of that, but then goes on to tell you things like what music they played at the event. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special All Olympics All The Time Edition…
  media circus

New York Times Now Holding Up Poor NYU Juniors For Terrible Ridicule, Mockery (By Us)

Why are you doing this, New York Times? Why are you taking what we’re sure is a very nice young woman, and forcing us to mock her horribly, and unkindly — as horribly and unkindly as if she’d put up a terrible Thought Catalog — when all she wanted was to find a reasonably nice apartment near NYU? NYT, are you actually evil? Read more on New York Times Now Holding Up Poor NYU Juniors For Terrible Ridicule, Mockery (By Us)…
  worst after-school special ever

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Rand Paul Edition With Extra-Special Guest Star The Washington Post

Oh hello there. Happy Sunday! Were you just chillin’ out maxin’ and relaxin’ or were you thinking “gosh, I would really like to read eleventy million words about Rand Paul”? If the latter, the Sunday New York Times has got your back, Jack. Did we read the complete history of Rand, son of Ron? Oh, heavens no! But we did skim it long enough to make our way to our very favorite thing about modern libertarianism: that Canadian rock band Rush is their musical vanguard. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Rand Paul Edition With Extra-Special Guest Star The Washington Post…
  media circus

Maureen Dowd Manages To Make New York Mayor’s Pizza Snafu About Bill Clinton’s Blowjob

Hey did you hear that New York’s mayor, Bill de Blasio, ate pizza with knife and fork, like a total schmegeggie? Well, NYT supercolumnist Maureen Dowd apparently wandered away from her twitter feed last week and forgot to refresh it, as she has Thoughts about pizza, and Bill Clinton getting a hummer from Monica Lewinsky, wait what? Read more on Maureen Dowd Manages To Make New York Mayor’s Pizza Snafu About Bill Clinton’s Blowjob…
  a little less conversation

Bill And Emma Keller Wish You Would Just Shut Up About Your Cancer Already, Lisa Adams

Here at Wonkette, we are pretty solid on serious illness/end-of-life choices, which is to say you get to deal with those thing any damn way you please. For some people, like Lisa Adams, that has meant blogging and tweeting about her Stage IV breast cancer that spread to her bones, hips, joints, spine, lungs, and liver. Seriously, in that situation, we are on Team Mos Def Do What The Fuck You Want. But Bill Keller, former New York Times editor, and his wife, Emma Keller, are so squicked out by this lady talking about her impending death and the things she does to stave off hopelessness that they both had to write columns about it. Read more on Bill And Emma Keller Wish You Would Just Shut Up About Your Cancer Already, Lisa Adams…
  tuesday bloody nyt tuesday

Three Possible Reasons All These People Are Fleeing The New York Times

You all know how much we love us some New York Times, but soon there will literally be no one left there to write anything. Oh, god, but Maureen Dowd will probably get to run the whole paper and that will be some end times level shit. Read more on Three Possible Reasons All These People Are Fleeing The New York Times…
  all hail our creamsicle saviour

John Boehner Hopes He Won’t Be Lashed Too Severely If He Rescues Economy From Default

We really hope that this New York Times story from Thursday is true: Speaker John A. Boehner has privately told Republican lawmakers anxious about fallout from the government shutdown that he would not allow a potentially more crippling federal default … Mr. Boehner’s comments, recounted by multiple lawmakers, that he would use a combination of Republican and Democratic votes to increase the federal debt limit if necessary appeared aimed at reassuring his colleagues — and nervous financial markets — that he did not intend to let the economic crisis spiral further out of control. It would be really nice to think that Orange Julius is willing to set aside the “Hastert Rule” that would normally only move bills to the Senate if they can be passed with a Republican majority; while it’s possible that the “Let’s crash America into a mountain to stop Obamacare” wing of the GOP might respond by taking away his Speakership (Speakerdom? Speakerhood? Speakercy?), we should not discount the possibility that he might also look forward to no longer trying to ride herd over the crazies in his own party. Read more on John Boehner Hopes He Won’t Be Lashed Too Severely If He Rescues Economy From Default…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: Your Weekend Roundup Of Dumbth

Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let’s give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool a few people, including Stupidest Guest Blogger On the Internet Mara Zebest, over at Gateway Pundit, whose impassioned overreaction — “Obama is a thin-skinned man-child and the laughing stock of the world” — doesn’t really depend on the veracity of the source material anyway. After commenters pointed out that Borowitz is satire — and a commenter whined about Obama being elected by “low information voters who get their info from Hollywood and comedians” — Zebest pulled the article, but it’s preserved by the magic of Google cache. Thanks, internet! Wonkette wishes a speedy recovery to Jim Hoft, and is exploring the possibility of asking Andy Borowitz to run a story about the $3150 that Gateway Pundit owes us. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: Your Weekend Roundup Of Dumbth…