Tag Archives: numbers

  275 is the loneliest number

The Daily Caller Has Conquered All The Internets, Bow Before The Daily Caller (Update)

Update/Correction: A couple of emails to the Wonkette tipline have pointed out that, in our lust for mathematical slobberknockery, we got a couple of things DEAD WRONG in this story. We mislabeled the first two charts in our piece, which we said showed flat readership stats at Daily Caller. These charts, copied from the DC post, actually show flat readership at Politico, and the text in the DC article says so. It was sloppy reading and editing on our part, and we apologize for the error. Even so, our final graph comparing the two sites is correct, and accurately shows the Daily Caller has done nothing that could even accidentally be interpreted as “surging” any time in the past year. The Daily Caller must have been doing some pretty crazy yoga moves lately, because Sunday night, at exactly 8:07 p.m., they managed to successfully give themselves a blowjob. “Daily Caller blazes past Politico in web traffic; leaves other establishment, liberal sites in rearview mirror.” That was the headline. Apparently “DAILY CALLER CONQUERS WORLD, LIBERALS DIE ALL ALONE” just wasn’t SEO-friendly enough. Tastefulness aside, that’s a pretty intense claim they’re making over there — they made it lead story under the headline “THE DAILY CALLER SURGES,” so they must be doing super well, right? …right? Read more on The Daily Caller Has Conquered All The Internets, Bow Before The Daily Caller (Update)…
  skew skew ka choo

Don’t Worry, Republicans, We Have Found These Awesome Made-Up Polls For You

If you’re a Romney supporter, you likely look with sadness and disdain upon the current state of political polling, which has consistently failed for weeks to show your guy with a lead.  In fact, the last time Mitt Romney had a lead in the RCP average, it was fall. Of 2011. What to do, then? Well, you unskew the polls, that’s what! Enter Unskewed Polls, which takes scientifically conducted polls and, with no particular methodology or reasoning, makes them pro-Romney. Read more on Don’t Worry, Republicans, We Have Found These Awesome Made-Up Polls For You…
  shocking statistics

North Dakota, Steaming Cesspool Of Political Corruption

Well FINALLY we have a state we can make fun of here on the Wonkette because none of its fourteen (14) residents have time to read this dumb Web site — they’re all still busy staying employed, at actual jobs! (The recession, which loses velocity as it cools, has not yet crept into the snowy north.) So let’s talk some shit about North Dakota while all those lamers toil at the wheel of industry. Let’s see, uh, North Dakota is the Mexico of Canada! Also, all of its politicians are crooks, all two of them. Read more on North Dakota, Steaming Cesspool Of Political Corruption…
  polling theories

Bizarro Bradley Effect Shocker: Voters Secretly Refuse To Support Republican Candidates

Through the magic of his math and numbers, Nate Silver has proved conclusively that modern American voters have a very secret shameful prejudice they will only indulge in the privacy of the polling booth: they do not like Republicans. Sure, they will tell a pollster on the phone, “Yes, I am definitely voting for that nice Republican. Some of my best friends are Republicans!” but then they will still pull the lever for the Democrat when nobody is looking. This is why so many Republican candidates underperformed in 2006 poll projections. Americans must have an open, honest dialogue about party affiliation so that our poll projections can be more accurate. [FiveThirtyEight] Read more on Bizarro Bradley Effect Shocker: Voters Secretly Refuse To Support Republican Candidates…
  people like to look at pretty ladies!

Republican Ticket Finally Drawing Large-ish Crowds!

For many months after he won the Republican nomination, nobody wanted to see nasty grumpus John McCain mumbling onstage about how he puts country first every time he bangs a lobbyist. Not even the promise of honey and Saltines at the back of the Straight Talk Express was enough to lure likely Republican voters to a McCain “Rally.” Well, that’s all changed, now that he has a running mate who “excites the base,” wokka wokka. Read more on Republican Ticket Finally Drawing Large-ish Crowds!…
  funny charts

Poll Shows Collective ‘Enh’ Among 15% Of Voters

Here is a very interesting poll from your Gallup organization, which shows Undecided finally pulling away form Neither/Other in the polls. However, Candidate “Total not Obama or McCain” is beating both their hindquarters — suggesting that Ron Paul really is secretly pulling the levers of Democracy and positioning himself for an eleventh-hour November blowout. [Gallup Daily] Read more on Poll Shows Collective ‘Enh’ Among 15% Of Voters…
 

Hillary’s Magical Maps!

Top Clinton advisor Harold Ickes arrived on Capitol Hill yesterday armed with magical maps showing how his candidate would win the nomination if Democrats were Republicans, Florida and Michigan’s excluded votes were included, and black caucus-goers were cast into the sea. These maps created a spacious gulag in the Middle West for educated voters under 40, and demonstrated how Barack Obama could never win tough Republican strongholds like California and New York. Read more on Hillary’s Magical Maps!…
 

Clinton Fears U.S. Becoming Island Nation Of Samurai

Hillary Clinton is afraid that Americans are going to start prancing around in knee socks and filming radioactive giant lizard-based horror films, now that we are sinking into a “Japanese-style malaise.” But these terrible tragedies can be avoided if we resort to crazy nanny state policies like having the Federal Housing Administration purchase underwater mortgages. Read more on Clinton Fears U.S. Becoming Island Nation Of Samurai…
 

As Goes Rhode Island, So Goes The Nation

Silly voters! You might think politics is “a game” about “who’s up and who’s down,” but really it’s all about who’s up in Rhode Island. Because even though Barack Obama has pulled ahead in Texas polls and Hillary Clinton still leads in Ohio, the real victor in the March 4 multi-state Democratic primaries will be the contender who wins the biggest little state in the union. And right now it’s looking like Clinton by a landslide. [Real Clear Politics] Read more on As Goes Rhode Island, So Goes The Nation…
 

Al Gore Will Be Our Next Vice President, Again

There is no better way to divine the future than to see what people are betting on. This is why everybody knew well in advance that the Patriots were going to win the Super Bowl in a walk! Now the mathematics of chance turns its eagle eye to the Democratic vice presidential contest and discovers that the likeliest pick is Nobel Prize winner, 8-year Veep, and secret president Al Gore. Read more on Al Gore Will Be Our Next Vice President, Again…
 

Hillary Clinton is not only kicking Barack Obama’s ass in the polls, she’s giving him a sound trouncing when it comes to staff numbers. AND she’s doing it with less money. According to reports, Clinton has around 700 on the payroll, while Obama has 631. In the last quarter, Clinton coughed up a mere $3.8 million to Obama’s $12.6 million. Meanwhile, Republican frontrunner Rudy Giuliani is far behind in staff numbers, weighing in at 189. [New York Post] Read more on …