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Tag: nro

Love the smell of Republican infighting!

RNC Fires Racist Dirtbag Magazine For Being Mean To Racist Dirtbag Candidate

Oh how terrible, it seems that Donald Trump's existence continues to tear the Republican Party asunder, we are so deeply sorry about how hard we are LOLing. National Review, the racist collective of racist goons spawned from William F. Buckley,...

Some Douche Pretty Sure Wendy Davis Could Have Carried Baby To Term In Her Fallopian Tube, Because Science

Wendy Davis, she's this lady. Turn-ons include running for Texas governor, being a Demoncrap, and murdering all the babbies. But! Some douche from LifeSiteNews, writing at NRO, thinks she didn't even abortion her own two babbies after all, because...
A Doktor Zoom original

National Review Burnishes ‘Serious Journalism’ Rep By Hiring Disgraced Plagiarist Benny Johnson

If you were concerned that hack plagiarist Benny Johnson, Buzzfeed's former viral politics editor and laughing stock of the internet -- which he loves :) -- would disappear into oblivion and fade from our memories, pinch your collective selves...

Now Obama Thinks He Is President On ‘Presidents Day,’ As If

We are sorry to inform you of this, because we know you are all gay for the "president," "Barack" "Obama," but he has really fucking stepped in it this time. Did he see white-woman boobs again? Yes, but that...

Kathryn Jean Lopez Stole Peggy Noonan’s Laudanum, Is Seeing Demons Errrrrewhere

The tweet was promising. First, it was from K-Lo, Kathryn Jean Lopez -- previously seen instructing us that we should give our kids boundaries like "no you may not shoot up a school" -- and it read "When to...

This Time He Means It About Running For President, Lies Donald Trump

The ratings for the network television programme "Mister Trump's Funtimes Band of Drug Addicts With Assorted Levels of Brain Damage" must be in le shitter, again, because it is once more time for the quadrennial favorite, "Donald Trump pretends...

But What Will K-Lo’s Reaction Be To This New Yorker Cover Of Anthony Weiner’s Danger Dong?

Some time back in the late Pleistocene era (last month? that is how time works, correct?) the United States Supreme Court was all like nah mang, teh ghey, they are people we guess, and the New Yorker responded with...

Donald Trump Steps Up To Fill The Bachmann-Shaped Hole In American Comedy

Donald Trump wants America to know that he's not going to fade away. Not that anyone had any realistic hopes that he would. A National Review puff piece today says that Trump is once again suggesting he may run...

Totally Brave Anonymous NRO Writer Does Not Care For Gabby Giffords Calling People ‘Cowards’

Why is Gabby Giffords bullying the US Senate, Instapundit, and, now, the entire brave staff of NRO? She is all laughing at their outfits and telling them to stop trying to make "fetch" happen. She is the meanest. She...

No, Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Not Cool With You Slapping Your Lady (Unless It Is A Sexy Slap)

The sophisticated gentlemens of National Review Online are really, most terribly sorry for maligning our Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him and Keep Him. But why are they sorry? They are sorry they are so bad at Tubechop...

NRO Has Smart Plan To Save America: Raze The Universities & Re-Educate All People In Glasses

Some people simply do not handle losing very well. Unable to accept that the electoral system in their beloved Constitution could possibly allow those other people to win, they suggest that maybe we need a revolution, or that America...

NRO Simply Does Not Care For ‘Insane’ Questions About Romney’s Bizarre Libya Statement

So, you know how Willard Mittingston Wigglesworth Romney IV made a very important foreign policy statement about the murders of American diplomats in Libya, which kind of left even Republican foreign-policy experts gobsmacked at its tone-deaf injection...

Not At All Racist or Sexist National Review Staff Tells You Why Not to Vote For The President

We need to get that uppity negro out of the White House because he only signs the back of checks instead of the front of them, but we are not racist! (says the National Review Online Staff). And also!...

NRO: Ladies Should Love Mitt Romney Because Of Gold-Digging, And Having Daughters Made Obama Gay

"From an evolutionary point of view," harrumphs Kevin Williamson of the National Review Online, "Mitt Romney should get 100 percent of the female vote. All of it. He should get Michelle Obama’s vote. You can insert your own Mormon...

NRO Editor Kathryn Jean Lopez: Was Aurora Shooter Possessed By Beelzebub?

Does Kathryn Jean Lopez believe the Aurora shooter, James Holmes, was possessed by demons? She does not say so. What she says is that a story by a Catholic priest who says possession is real and posits that James...

NRO’s Kathryn Jean Lopez Just Doesn’t See What All The Fuss Is About S-E-X

Kathryn Jean Lopez, better known by her gang moniker, K-Lo, is a pill. She is unpleasant and obsequiously pious and constantly telling all other American Catholics how they're doing Catholicism wrong by actually following the edicts of Vatican II...