NRA
Texas Lawmakers Celebrate ‘Gun Day’ With Gun Legislation Spree
As you probably heard, the National Rifle Association held its annual firearms-stroking meeting over the weekend in Houston. And where a lot of state legislatures would just pass a resolution declaring “Suck My Machine Gun Week” or some such, the Texas House instead celebrated the Holy Armed Presence by passing a dozen laws to make [...]
Why Is The NRA Censoring This Innocent Dead Obama Mannequin That Bleeds When You Shoot Him?
Well well well NRA, it looks like maybe you do not love the prologue to the Second Amendment (the “First” Amendment, whatever that might be) that much after all! That is because you shockingly asked Zombie Industries to remove its Zombie “Rockie” target from view at your big shindig over the weekend, the one we [...]
Boss Hogg Takes Over As NRA President
Alabama, you have given this nation so much: George Wallace, Bull Connor, Roy Moore, insanely restrictive abortion laws, Richard Shelby AND Jeff Sessions in the same Congress, crappy Neil Young songs, and even crappier Lynrd Skynrd responses. Your generosity in contributing to this nation’s civic and cultural life is so vast, we can never repay [...]
In Which We Are Irrationally Hopeful That Not Everyone Is a Total Idiot About Gun Control
With the way so many of our politicians cower in terror every time they spot Wayne LaPierre rushing in their direction, his crazy eyes rolling in their sockets like the googly-eyed panda magnet on our refrigerator, we have thought we might break out the Dance of Joy if just one politician would tell him to go [...]
Objective News Anchor Wishes Obama Would Tell His Elitist Hollywood Scum Friends to End Gun Violence Forever
Campbell Brown is a former CNN anchor and Objective Journalist who is extremely concerned that President Obama isn’t doing enough to combat gun violence. So she took to the always-objective Wall Street Journal editorial page to give the president some objective advice: The president’s campaign against gun violence has produced a stale debate marked by [...]
Jim Carrey Trolls Fox Angerbears, and Other News From The World Of Guns
Greetings, rabble! Welcome to this week’s sad, sad roundup of stupid gun stuff. It is only our fifth entry in this series and already every week feels like an interminable slog through the most depressing and ridiculous and rage-inducing gun-related precincts of the American id. Just this week yr Wonkette brought you these shit-covered piles [...]
Journey To The Center Of The Derp: Ted Nugent Tries To Mash All Wingnut Buttons At Once
Ted Nugent. Yes Ted Nugent and do not start yelling lovely commenters, because maybe he says this crazy shit all of the time, but this time he has joined up for an interview with a radio talking guy who is just as wingnutted and wrong as him, and they hit every single rile-up-a-redneck-talking point there [...]
Gun News Roundup: Wayne LaPierre Is A Vile Sack of Garbage, Plus Some Things You Might Have Not Already Known
Greetings, representatives of the People’s Glorious Wonkitburo! We thought we would start this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands with a gun-related tale that could have had terrible and tragic consequences for world diplomacy, but because no one was hit with any shotgun pellets, turned out to be amusing in a “Holy flurking shnit” sort [...]
Toxic Xenophobe Michelle Malkin’s Twitchy: Still A Idiot (Updated!)
How is Michelle Malkin’s House for Runaway Dwarves With Syphilitic Brain Lesions furthering the cause of conservatism lately? Like this: “Rainn Wilson, Michael Moore cite Onion’s NRA-bashing parody.” In it, the unbylined “Twitchy staff” do a happy gleeful GOTCHA dance about liberal stupids. See, Michael Moore and Rainn Wilson tweeted out an Onion link — [...]
House Conservatives Offer Up New Budget Full Of Really Great Ideas That Everyone Loves
Oh good, we had grown tired of making fun of Paul Ryan and his “budget,” so it’s nice that the Republican Study Committee (RSC), chaired by Chairman Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA, of COURSE), has released its own budget for us to make fun of. Highlights include: turning Medicare into a voucher system, raising the retirement [...]
The Week in Guns: Please Proceed With Your Mansplaining, Jerks
What a week for gun news to wrap our cold dead hands around. We have already told you about the dust-up in the Senate Judiciary Committee when Canadian anchor baby Ted Cruz (R-Pew! Pew!) mansplained the Constitution to Dianne Feinstein and DiFi told him to STFU and DIAF. Readers who know something about DiFi’s history [...]
You Can Pry The Smith & Wesson From Lady’s Cold Dead Hoo-Haw, And Other Notable Gun News
Oh hai! Welcome to this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands, Wonkette’s weekly look at the state of the gun debate in America, where evil liberals bent on controlling every aspect of your lives continue their efforts to disarm the brave patriots who are the only line of defense between you and the FEMA death [...]
It’s Okay, White People! Black Man With Guns Does Not Want To Murder You!
What has two thumbs he has not yet shot off and really loves guns? The answer is this fucking guy, Mr. Colion Noir. This lovable gun-and-baseball-cap enthusiast is now starring in an ad for the NRA and has become a sort of mascot for white people desperate to equate the right to own as many [...]
blog advertising is good for you
