Tag Archives: NRA

  she can bring home the bullets

NRA Sad That Obama Hates Ladies Who Use AR-15 Ladyguns

pew! pew!
The Department of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms is considering whether to ban the manufacture, import, and sale of a particular type of armor-piercing ammunition known as M855 or “green tip” bullets. These bullets are compatible with AR-15 assault rifles and are illegal except for sport shooting, mostly for when the deer are wearing body armor. SETTLE DOWN we are kidding, we know people shoot AR-15s with green tip ammo for gunfun at shooting ranges (but not all shooting ranges, including the NRA’s, because are you crazy, these bullets are really dangerous). Until recently, these bullets haven’t been compatible with handguns, but a fabulous new gun has come onto the market and it is an AR-15-style handgun that can shoot green tip cop-killer bullets! For some reason, the ATF doesn’t really want people to be able to use these bullets in handguns, but since they are widely available for sport shooting, ATF is thinking, huh, people might buy some and stick them in their handguns. And since there are many other fun bullets you can use for sport shooting with your AR-15, ATF wonders whether it might just be better to ban the armor-piercing ones. Read more on NRA Sad That Obama Hates Ladies Who Use AR-15 Ladyguns…
  Circular Firing Squad

NRA Will Drown Grover Norquist’s Islamic Terrorism In A Bathtub

Douche fight! Douche fight!
Better take cover, kids, because there’s a big ol’ Battle of the Rightwing True Believers a-brewin’, and there’s no telling where the stray rounds will hit. Seems that Grover Norquist is getting a little Politics of Personal Destruction thrown his way as he seeks reelection to the National Rifle Association’s Board of Directors. The whole ugly slapfight is covered in excruciating detail by Chaotic Evil Breitbart Horcrux Matthew Boyle, who chronicles the internecine dustup with all the enthusiasm of a junior high school girl telling all about the big cafeteria brawl that got That Bitch Melanie and That Other Bitch Breeanna a week of after-school detention. Read more on NRA Will Drown Grover Norquist’s Islamic Terrorism In A Bathtub…
  We're Fresh Out Of Kittens Sorry

Who Are We Shooting This Week? Oh, It’s Girl Scouts!

The problem isn't guns, of course. It's never guns.
So let’s get straight to the good-ish news: Nine-year-old Sinai (pronounced “sih-NYE”) Miller, who was hit by a stray bullet from a drive-by shooting Tuesday while selling Girl Scout Cookies in Indianapolis, is going to be fine. You know, as fine as a 9-year-old girl can be after a gunshot wound to the leg. Also, people are ordering cookies from her Girl Scout troop like crazy, because that dizzy optimist Anne Frank was right about most people being good at heart, and if you can’t make it so a nine-year-old girl becomes un-shot, at least you can buy some goddamned cookies. It’s a profoundly decent useless gesture, which is about what we’re reduced to when we can’t really be shocked by a kid in a poor neighborhood catching a bullet. Read more on Who Are We Shooting This Week? Oh, It’s Girl Scouts!…
  Our Cold Merely Wounded Hands

Responsible Gun Owners Improve Safety Record, Only Maim Selves

Nobody wearing a 'take responsibility' shirt would ever act irresponsibly!
Time for another roundup of just a few exciting stories of Responsible Gun Owners keeping themselves safe from crime and from the threat of tyrannical government overreach! We’ll ease into our Gun Fun with a story that’s happily non-lethal — so far, at least. Read more on Responsible Gun Owners Improve Safety Record, Only Maim Selves…
  He's a total RINO

GOP Senate Drops Words ‘Civil Rights’ From Subcommittee About Civil Rights, Because They Get It

we don't need no
In a move calculated to remind Tea Baggers and gun fondlers that yes, he totally gets it, John Cornyn (R-Texas), the incoming Chairman of  the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights, and Human Rights, dropped the parts of the subcommittee name that don’t really matter or apply to anyone who matters, and renamed the panel the Subcommittee on the Constitution. Read more on GOP Senate Drops Words ‘Civil Rights’ From Subcommittee About Civil Rights, Because They Get It…
  Cold Dead Hands

Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union’s Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever

As gun ownership becomes more about making a half-baked political statement predicated on paranoid delusions and industry propaganda, and less about practical matters like hunting and home defense, it stands to reason that gun owners themselves would display an ever-diminishing quotient of common sense. This is just a theory, but damned if the facts on the ground don’t support it. WITNESS: Read more on Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union’s Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever…
  Let's All Civics Each Other!

AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That

could you pass this?
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (R) signed into law yesterday a bill requiring Arizona high school students to correctly answer 60 of the 100 questions in the civics section of the Immigration and Naturalization test for US citizenship in order to graduate or receive a GED. Although we are always suspicious when Republicans require citizen-related tests, all of the writers at yr Wonkette love civics very much, and it is our hobby that consumes all of our waking hours. And we love it when high school students do civics on each other, so that is probably a good thing to require of them! Really, the more civics the better, and if learning about civics creates voters who are informed about important things, like how democracy should work, and how it actually works, and how important it is to vote, then we think everyone should spend much more time learning civics by reading Wonkette, and also possibly by reading many other publications as well, plus also Wonkette. Read more on AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That…
  Total RINO obviously

Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning

This is Raging Rob. Enough said.
In a rare but not unprecedented burst of Republican sanity regarding gun regulation, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has done a super decent thing and vetoed a concealed carry gun bill that was crafted, nurtured, and pushed in Michigan by the NRA. The bill, SB 789, would have allowed stalkers and domestic abusers to obtain concealed carry permits, because of course when you’ve been deemed dangerous by a court, you should have immediate access to deadly weapons, it just makes sense. And staggeringly, Gov. Snyder, a REPUBLICAN, were you even listening, did the right thing and said NO WAY. Don’t get too excited about Snyder, because he is normally very happy to do the NRA’s bidding, but today we are not complaining. Read more on Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning…
  Love Me Deadly

Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!

Won't someone think of the Second Amendment?
Just when you think that maybe America is no longer the bastion of freedom and individual liberty you thought it was, along comes an inspirational freedom-expanding development like this new Michigan law awaiting the signature of Gov. Rick Snyder. The bill would: Read more on Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!…
  our armed society

Praise The Lord And Hit The Deck: Your 2014 Gun-Fun Roundup!

Am'urca
Guns! Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. Where were we? Oh yeah, guns! Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. The past twelve months were yet another banner year for guns in this country. In an era when so many of our civic institutions feel as if they have broken down, it’s nice to know that America still excels in the arena of “lunatics shoot people and then everybody yells at each other about it.” Congrats to all Americans for getting in on this robust industry with seemingly unlimited growth potential. Read more on Praise The Lord And Hit The Deck: Your 2014 Gun-Fun Roundup!…
  Meet your new surgeon general -- finally

Senate Confirms Surgeon General Even Though He Thinks Murder Is Bad For Children

We start seizing all the guns now, right?
In a stunning and unusual act of doing their job, senators finally confirmed Dr. Vivek Murthy for surgeon general, a position that has remained vacant for more than a year because it’s not like that’s one of those important jobs. Unless, of course, there’s an outbreak of Ebola — or at least an outbreak of Ebola paranoia — in which case, it’s kind of handy to have some dude or dudette already on the payroll, ready and able to explain some basic healthcare stuff to Americans like they’re idiots, which they are, so you don’t have to scramble to appoint someone Czar Of Calming Down Idiot Americans Over Ebolamania. Read more on Senate Confirms Surgeon General Even Though He Thinks Murder Is Bad For Children…
  Ready fire aim!

Texas Gun Groups Undecided: Slowly Strangle Lone Gun Law Or Shoot It In The Face?

More guns just means more freedom
You might be surprised to discover that Texas doesn’t require gun owners to obtain a gun license, register their guns, or report when their guns are lost or stolen. It does allow people to carry rifles and shotguns openly, and it allows gun owners to carry any kind of gun in public as long as it is concealed, but it does NOT allow the open carry of handguns. Gun regulations being a sort of endangered species in Texas, gun groups can hardly be blamed for their excitement in finding a healthy, robust specimen to kill and mount on the wall of their hunting lodge. Read more on Texas Gun Groups Undecided: Slowly Strangle Lone Gun Law Or Shoot It In The Face?…
  Consider Pants Shat

Ted Nugent All Racist About Ferguson, Nation Back To Normal

Still very much on the NRA board
Guys, we are trying so hard not to be All Ferguson All the Time, but then, dammit, along comes Ted Nugent and posts this idiocy to his Faceplace: Here’s the lessons from Ferguson America- Don’t let your kids growup to be thugs who think they can steal, assault & attack cops as a way of life & badge of black (dis)honor. Don’t preach your racist bullshit “no justice no peace” as blabbered by Obama’s racist Czar Al Not So Sharpton & their black klansmen. Say, did we mention that this man is on the board of directors of the National Rifle Association, and they wouldn’t dream of asking him to leave? The strongest thing the organization has ever said about the guy is “Ted is seen as Ted more than as an NRA board member.” Hey, he’s a rock star, he says wacky things is all. Read more on Ted Nugent All Racist About Ferguson, Nation Back To Normal…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: WTF, Senate Democrats, Part Deux (Video)

Best jazz hands in the business
Rachel Maddow brings us this lovely follow-up to her Tuesday-night WTF at Senate Democrats’ decision to just give up on confirming Loretta Lynch as attorney general. Get ready for more WTF: The Senate isn’t apparently going to confirm any of the 160 Obama nominees, but as a special favor to Louisiana’s Sen. Mary Landrieu, it will schedule a vote on the Keystone XL pipeline, which will of course not actually help Landrieu win her Dec. 6 run-off against Bill Cassidy, because why would oil-lovers go for Landrieu when they can have the guy who actually sponsored the thing in the House? Maybe Senate Democrats are thinking of the upside? Passing the Keystone XL may not really help Landreiu, Maddow, notes, but hey, it will Read more on Morning Maddow: WTF, Senate Democrats, Part Deux (Video)…
  unpossible!

Liberal Lawmaker Owns A Gun AND Favors Gun Control. Impossible!

Do not takesess our precious.
Big scoopy scoop over at The Blaze, Glenn Beck’s online home for his continuing total emotional and mental breakdown now cruising through its – let’s see, how old is Glenn Beck? – its 50th year. Seems Missouri state Sen. Jamilah Nasheed got herself arrested during a protest outside the Ferguson Police Department, because people just can’t let go of this Michael Brown shooting thing already, jeez. When the cops searched Nasheed, they found she was carrying a loaded 9mm pistol and extra ammo. Read more on Liberal Lawmaker Owns A Gun AND Favors Gun Control. Impossible!…
  We Have Always Been At War With Ebola

Idiots Blocked Obama’s Surgeon General Nominee. Thanks Obama!

We make the *other* poor dumb bastard die of Ebola
Important news from the “I know Obama’s an obstructionist, what am I?” front. Missouri Sen. Roy Blunt explained on Meet the Press Sunday why America doesn’t have a Surgeon General during this here Ebola outbarack: turns out that it doesn’t have anything to do with the National Rifle Association whining that mean old Surgeon General nominee Vivek Murthy will take away all the guns, and Republicans like Blunt vowing to vote against confirming him. Not at all! It’s all Barack Obama’s fault, of course, for being so irresponsible as to nominate someone the NRA doesn’t like: Read more on Idiots Blocked Obama’s Surgeon General Nominee. Thanks Obama!…
  Bending Toward Justice

Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?

Lucia McBath & her son, Jordan Davis (1995-20120
Michael Dunn, convicted last month for the murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance of parole. Since prosecutors did not seek the death penalty in Dunn’s first-degree murder trial, the conviction carried a mandatory life sentence. Judge Russell Healey told the would be ground-stander: Read more on Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?…
  Second Amendment Protrusions

NRA Warns Men: If You Let Your Wife Do Gun Control, Your Peen May Fall Off

What on earth could they be getting at?
In a very subtle message to America, the NRA’s radio show Cam & Company took the opportunity to explain that any man whose wife supports gun control — we guess it’s “gun safety” now — is just not quite a man anymore, if you know what rightwing funnyman Kurt Schlichter means (and we know you do, because he is not exactly subtle). Read more on NRA Warns Men: If You Let Your Wife Do Gun Control, Your Peen May Fall Off…
  Bullet Points

NRA Wonders Why You Paranoids Fear Gun Nuts And Their Weapons Stockpiles

Playing the arms race card
The NRA just can’t understand the paranoia of you people who have a problem with Responsible Gun Owners and their Perfectly Legal Firearms, which they keep with them at all times because they need to be ready to instantly kill a possible assailant. And so the NRA put together this very convincing video to explain that anyone who has a problem with armed citizens is a seriously disturbed human being who is afraid of both the Holy Second Amendment, and, even crazier, afraid of an inanimate object, for god’s sake. There is nothing to fear about a gun, you pussies. Here, listen to completely level-headed NRA commentary person Billy Johnson: Read more on NRA Wonders Why You Paranoids Fear Gun Nuts And Their Weapons Stockpiles…
  stick to your guns

Texas Might Not Let People Buy Guns And Drink At The Same Time. How Is That Even Fair?

You know what goes together in ‘Merica like apple pie and ice cream? Guns and liquor. Guns and liquor is the ‘Merican way, and you should always have one whenever you find the other. At least that appears to be the viewpoint of the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission, which recently proposed allowing alcohol at some gun shows. Read more on Texas Might Not Let People Buy Guns And Drink At The Same Time. How Is That Even Fair?…