Tag Archives: NRA

  Mad About A Thing

NRA Dude Hopes Virginia Shooting Victims’ Parents Won’t Be Total Pussies About This

He's weeping, and also telling the NRA to go fuck itself with a rusty dildo.
He’s weeping, and also telling the NRA to go fuck itself with a rusty dildo. After last week’s horrific on-air murder of TV journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward, many people immediately braced themselves for exactly what disgusting thing the NRA would have to say. At first, there were mostly tumbleweeds, but as the NRA is perhaps the most evil institution in all of America, it was only a matter of time! Here’s a disgusting, soulless, stomach-churning response from the NRA’s Colion Noir, who Media Matters reports is part of the NRA’s new campaign to make the organization look cool and hip and “Kids These Days,” as opposed to what it really is — a group of paranoid pants-shitting twats who really, truly don’t cry when your child dies. Read more on NRA Dude Hopes Virginia Shooting Victims’ Parents Won’t Be Total Pussies About This…
  With Liberty And Justice For All Who Survive

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!
Sawed-off shotguns: They’re in the Constitution! While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former employee of the station, we thought we’d mention some other recent deaths in which guns had nothing to do with anything. Because while it’s far too soon to talk about guns in relation to the Virginia murders, maybe it’s not too soon to talk about these other shootings. (We are joking you, of course. It is never the right time to talk about guns.) Read more on Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately…
  How to understand the news when you are a racist

Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT

The victims were white, and the suspect was black, so … race war, obviously By now, you’ve heard the gruesome news, unless you work at a bar and you’re just now getting up. A disgruntled former employee of WDBJ-TV in Roanoke allegedly carried out a plan to murder two of his former colleagues, Alison Parker and Adam Ward, on camera as Parker was doing a fluff interview about tourism. Suspected gunman, Vester Lee Flanagan II (or Bryce Williams, when he was on camera), posted his crimes on social media, and then he shot himself. He’s reportedly in critical condition. [NOTE: Police report he died at around 1:30 PM ET.] Read more on Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT…
  And now you're throwing up

Megyn Kelly Gives Ted Nugent Cat Scratch Fever, In His Penis

A song about Megyn Kelly, apparently.
A song about Megyn Kelly, apparently. Well, this argument about whether Donald Trump or Megyn Kelly is the biggest sexist is officially OVER, even more than when Bristol Palin finally commented on the situation, because Ted Nugent has spoken, and what do you know, he said something really gross. You see, he COMES down on the side of Donald Trump, except for when he’s CUMMING on his television, because Megyn Kelly is on the screen, being all dreamy-like, and the combination of that, and the phallic gun in his hand, and the fact that he is SITTING THERE NAKED, just overtakes his NOOOOGE Peen, and he can’t help but squeeze off a couple rounds. Rich Lowry only WISHES his Sarah Palin Penile Starbursts had this much muzzle velocity: Read more on Megyn Kelly Gives Ted Nugent Cat Scratch Fever, In His Penis…
  Public Service Announcement for gay-bashers

Dumb Gay-Basher Gets Dumb Ass Handed To Him By Gay-Married West Point Ninjas

Gay-married ninjas!
Would you look at that adorable couple? That is Daniel and Larry Lennox-Choate, and they are dudes who are so gay for each other that they decided to get married at their alma mater, which is, ahem, WEST POINT. They were the first gay couple to do that, in 2013! And well, we guess they’ve been living happily ever after since then, except for this one unfortunate incident this past Sunday, when, as they were shopping at the bodega in SoHo (probably assessing the quality of various fruits and vegetables, in order to prepare THE perfect Sunday dinner), some fuckin’ asshole decided to start hurling anti-gay obscenities at Daniel, pictured on the right. Then, according to the New York Daily News, he punched Daniel. Read more on Dumb Gay-Basher Gets Dumb Ass Handed To Him By Gay-Married West Point Ninjas…
  But what about all the good guys with guns? Oh the mass shooter killed them too?

Amy Schumer Says Mass Shootings Somehow Involve Guns, Guess She Hates America

Not here to make jokes.
Last week, Sarah Clements, a gun control activist and daughter of a Sandy Hook survivor, wrote an open letter to Amy Schumer, asking her to step up and speak out to try to do SOMETHING about our uniquely American problem with mass shootings, after one of the Lone Wolves from the Lone Wolf Club murdered two innocent women and injured nine others at a screening of Schumer’s “Trainwreck” in Lafayette, Louisiana. Schumer saw the letter and responded on Twitter: Read more on Amy Schumer Says Mass Shootings Somehow Involve Guns, Guess She Hates America…
  I Don't Like Gundays

Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up

In the not-too-distant future
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry knows there’s no problem that can’t be solved by the addition of more guns, which is why he claimed Sunday that last week’s shooting in a movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana, probably could have been prevented if only a whole bunch of people in the audience had been armed. Because in the confusion and panic of a dark movie theater, five or six extra people with guns would certainly have been a big improvement. Read more on Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up…
  counting down the weekly top stories

And Then Suddenly All Eyes Were On Charleston. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Beautiful souls, each and every one.
Well, Wonkers, it was a sad week, as we, and the nation, became transfixed on the gruesome murders that took the lives of 9 people attending a Bible study at a historic black church in Charleston, South Carolina. And wouldn’t you know it, even amidst such rage and sadness, wingnuts still managed to fuck it up more, by saying some of the grossest things imaginable. And surprise, some of those posts made this week’s top ten! Read more on And Then Suddenly All Eyes Were On Charleston. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Enraged about all of these things

Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M

They call themselves His People. Weird.
Dylann Storm Roof killed black people because he wanted to kill black people. Roof admitted this! But maybe it’s not about race. Let’s take another trip down Wingnut River to see why Roof’s nine victims — Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Tywanza Sanders, Susie Jackson, Cynthia Hurd, Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, DePayne Middleton-Doctor, Ethel Lee Lance, Myra Thompson, and Rev. Daniel Lee Simmons, Sr. REALLY died. Read more on Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M…
  Here's a fucked up thing

NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!

RIP
We have only begun to graze the tip of the iceberg when it comes to obscene, disgusting wingnut reactions to the Charleston mass murder that ended the lives of 9 black churchgoers, aged from 26 to 87, on Wednesday night. So we guess it’s time for NRA people to start saying words, and surprise, they are not good words. Charles Cotton is a member of the NRA’s board, and he knows who killed those people. No, not Dylann Storm Roof, the alleged gunman who has since confessed, silly! It was Rev. Clementa Pinckney, state senator and pastor at Emanuel AME Church, according to Cotton. How did Pinckney manage that? By voting against a bill that would have allowed people to carry concealed guns in church, of course! Read more on NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!…
  A Shot In the Derp

New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn’t More Guns

Not much of a deterrent to crime, but kawaii as anything
Writing for a politics blog is weird. Yr Dok Zoom had just finished saving an earlier version of this piece Wednesday night when he opened a beer and decided to look at Twitter before heading to bed. That wasn’t such a great idea, in terms of sleeping well. And so we shall reframe what had just been an interesting bit of research into a direct reply to the geniuses who know, deep in their hearts, that when two or more are gathered in God’s name, at least one must be carrying a gun, and then mass shootings would be even rarer than they actually are. Read more on New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn’t More Guns…
  An Armed Society is a Bullet-Riddled Society

After Waco Shootout, Know What Texas Needs? More Guns EVERYWHERE!

This is silly. The real Texas vending machines include some revolvers.
On Sunday, Waco, Texas played host to a guns-and-knives ballet performance by the Bandidos and Cossacks motorcycle clubs, leaving 9 dead, 18 injured, and 170 in jail. On Monday, the Texas Senate debated HB 910, a bill that would allow open carry of handguns just about everywhere in the state. Also up for consideration is SB 11, which would allow concealed carry of weapons on college campuses. There is no connection at all between the shootout and the pending legislation, because shut up is why. Read more on After Waco Shootout, Know What Texas Needs? More Guns EVERYWHERE!…
  Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down

NRA To Louisiana: Lady Beaters Are People Too, Should Have All The Guns

People Not To Date, #762 in a series
The National Rifle Association is doing what it does best, making sure that as many people have guns as possible, regardless of insignificant little details like the possibility that they might not be ideal Armed Citizens. Like, for instance, people found guilty of domestic violence. In Louisiana, where it’s already illegal for people convicted of domestic violence against a member of their household to own firearms, the NRA helped gut a bill that would have kept firearms out of the hands of those who committed violence against people they dated but don’t live with. Read more on NRA To Louisiana: Lady Beaters Are People Too, Should Have All The Guns…
  Let's See How They Blame This On Gay Marriage

9 Dead In Waco Biker Fight; Armed Society Not Quite So Polite

Almost certainly the fault of single mothers
Nine bikers were killed in a fight at a restaurant in Waco, Texas, Sunday, as rival motorcycle gangs fought each other over not much of anything. The violence has left observers wondering what it is about Texan people that leads them to such wanton violence; we’re waiting in vain for so-called “moderate Texans” to condemn the actions of the thugs within their midst. Read more on 9 Dead In Waco Biker Fight; Armed Society Not Quite So Polite…
  Bang bang liberty you're dead

NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom

Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton's real face, we guess.
The corpse that was America’s liberty until President Obama killed it is not even cold yet, but the National Rifle Association is already warning us of the extra-death of liberty that lies ahead, since Hillary Clinton “has formally declared her intention to assume the office of president of the United States.” (We assume she intends to do this by winning the presidential election, like she said, but maybe she’s just going to assume the office without the farce of democracy, so she can get right to extra-deathing our liberty. That’s probably the plan.) Read more on NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom…