Wonkette

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino might not be a liar after all! All those times when she says “I don’t know” and “We’re still gathering the facts” could be 100% accurate, because she actually doesn’t know jackshit about the world around her. Perino appeared on NPR’s jolly Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me program this weekend and stupidly told the world a story best kept private: She has no goddamn clue what the Cuban Missile Crisis was. MORE »

Presidential candidate and former fatty Mike Huckabee stopped by NPR in New York yesterday, and went on “The Bryant Park Project” to talk about, uh, how he lost a bunch of weight a while back. Because that’s all he ever talks about. Also, he played ping-pong! And won. Because Mike Huckabee is an unstoppable force of health and winning things, or at least coming in a surprising second.

Huckabee Deals with a New Kind of Media Spin [NPR]

The girls’ basketball team, the short ‘n sassy ’80s perm … was there any doubt that Alaska’s new governor Sarah Palin also eats Moose Burger? MORE »

Even though none of the TV networks interrupted the soaps for his jabbering, it seems Bush did give a speech somewhere … we only know because the liberal communists over at NPR ran the entire goddamned thing, live. MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Rep. Rob Simmons (R-Conn.) “gave an impassioned defense of the use of dog booties.” to the Homeland Security Committee Wednesday… House Majority Leader John Boehner never thought he’d get elected, because people pronounce his name “Boner.” [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Rep. Ralph Hall (R-Texas) and former Rep. Billy Tauzin (R-La.) are performing a vaudeville comedy routine at the Shakespeare Theatre Company, accompanied by “congressional band” the Second Amendments. [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: NPR correspondent Daniel Schorr is turning 90 next month. NPR had a party for him and named a studio after him… Antonin Scalia “downed ceviche and pisco sours” at a farewell party for the Peruvian Ambassador. [WP]
• Lowdown: CBS News pulled an interview with a Canadian activist, possibly because they fear aggravating President Bush. [NYDN]
• Page Six: For reasons unfathomable to everyone, Charles Barkley sides with John ‘Cougar’ Mellencamp in his feud with Dan Quayle. [NYP]

• After years of making the claim, Wonkette Mom finally gets the vindication she deserves: Yes, Peter Overby sounds like Linus. [Mixed Signals]

• 1,009 laptops were stolen in DC last year. If (say) every fifth one has sensitive financial information, and (say) every 10th one has dirty pictures of notable Washingtonians, then we clearly need more thieves reading this site. [Computerworld]
• It’s Hitch’s war, you hear? It’s his, all his! [HitchensWatch]
• In Ney’s defense, they all look alike. Campaign contributors, we mean. What were you talking about? [TPM]
• We’re getting too old for this shit pork. [Instapundit]

Sometimes, NPR makes news fun! MORE »

* DC owns the half-smoke! Extra chili and double extra liquid cheese, please. [NPR via Unrequited Narcissism] MORE »

America’s fastest Senator: John Sununu, who ran his leg of the ACLI Capital Challenge in a respectable 20:10. Not quite the fastest lawmaker, though, as Representative Bart Gordon (D-TN), who sounds like maybe the hero of a series of young adult adventure novels, ran an impressive 18:05. The full list is here, but it’s pretty damn long — you see any particularly funny names in there we missed, give us a holler. National Geographic was the fastest print media team, and, hilariously, NPR beat Fox. Enjoy those words, NPR, you don’t hear them very often. MORE »

* Washington: first in war, first in peace, seventh and fifteenth in soul destroying traffic congestion. [Metroblogging DC] MORE »