• THE ONLY PHOTO OF ALAN KEYES PUSHING A SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS STROLLER FULL OF ABORTED CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS YOU’LL NEED TO SEE TODAY: Oh look, nutbar is back at Notre Dame. [New York Times]

• BARACK OBAMA HAS NO VALID EXCUSE FOR SPEAKING AT THIS COLLEGE: So the right has been saying that the President of the United States, Obama, should not speak at the famous college Notre Dame because he is pro-choice, and now the left — or at least a few wily provocateurs at The American Prospect! — says that he should not speak at the famous college Notre Dame because “a progressive president shouldn’t support an institution that reserves 25 percent of its admissions seats for legacies.” Huh. Hmm… uhhhh… eh. SO, Notre Dame, you say? That’s the one with the football team, right? [The American Prospect]

Alan Keyes wanted to get arrested at Notre Dame and thrown in jail forever so very much that… well he just COULD NOT WAIT until the actually graduation ceremony in nine days! He and some friends were apprehended on the Notre Dame campus today, for trespassing: “Keyes was among a group of 26 protesters, some of them pushing baby carriages with dolls covered in fake blood.” Is your pscyhology all fucked up now, liberals?! Oh. Anyway all of these folks turned down the $250 bail option and will starve to death in this jail… meaning more abortions for the rest of us! [Chicago Breaking News]

Father to a lesbian Hell Demon and former “Maryland diplomat” Alan Keyes, the self-proclaimed “abortion of politics,” well he’s going to Notre Dame, is what he’s doing, to protest Barack Obama’s upcoming commencement speech alongside the bloody baby carriages and Abortion Planes. Remember that not five years ago, Alan Keyes was Barack Obama’s general election opponent for the United States Senate. Now Obama is president, and Keyes is the obnoxious slob who stands near the back of the auditorium at Obama’s speeches shouting arbitrary, violent Bible verses for a few seconds before getting arrested. And Keyes is really looking forward to getting arrested at Notre Dame and spending the rest of his life in an Indiana county prison. MORE »

By now you should all be familiar with K-Lo’s Papist Army Rebellion at Notre Dame, where wingnuts are mad that President Obama — whose morning routine includes having a MASSIVE partial-birth abortion between potty and tooth-brushing time — will be the University’s commencement speaker. A Wonkette operative in South Bend writes: “How are you not writing about the Abortion Plane?! I’m here at Notre Dame, future speaking site of President Obama (unless he wises up and makes a run for it), and the ever-awesome Center For Bioethical Reform has hired a plane to circle over campus over the last few days, trailing a giant fetus poster.” And in a later e-mail the operative adds, “They brought baby carriages and fake blood, too!” But the best part here is a letter the Center for Bioethical Reform sent in response to one student who had asked them to maybe stop being so annoying. It includes such gems as, “The sewers of South Bend are literally running red with the blood of Notre Dame’s children.” LITERALLY. MORE »