In Heaven, a secret cabal meets every Shrove Tuesday to match up nutjob religious leaders with the presidential candidates they will embarrass the most. John McCain’s assigned kook is pastor John Hagee, an Evangelical preacher who loves Jews, the apocalypse, and long walks on the beach, and hates Mondays, broccoli, and Catholics. So it shocked everyone today when he acted like a complete hypocrite by refusing to stand by his crazy remarks about our papist brothers and sisters. MORE »

In a controversial address at Columbia University School of Law on Tuesday, the controversial contrarian and former Obama advisor Samantha Power admitted she was sorry about calling Hillary Clinton a monster that one time. However, she did not request backsies on any of the other shocking garbage she uttered in her tenure as Barack Obama’s foreign policy wonk. MORE »