You know what sucks? April Fools crap on news websites. You know what wouldn’t suck at all? If Doktor Ron Paul became the one true chairman of the Republican National Committee. Oh, the laughs! Oh, the costumes! Oh, the love (spelled backwards, on a blimp). Sadly, this didn’t happen, and it will never happen — but not because Ron Paul is a nut, and not specifically because his remaining followers are all actual hobbits. It’s because Republicans hate Ron Paul’s guts. They would sooner appoint Cynthia McKinney as RNC chairman. [Conservative HQ]

This is not the story we want to be repeating for the next eight years: Some 64-year-old nut in a pickup truck attempted to make a “delivery” to Barack Obama, the president, by driving up to the U.S. Capitol with a rifle and ammo. The good news is the suspect is 64 years old, which suggests these people may be at the end of their natural life span. UPDATE: Oh wait, is this guy actually a black man, doing some kind of protest, like he maybe did during the Jena Six craziness? [WTOP]

Senator Larry Craig’s sad airport restroom misadventure, with all its giggle-inducing details of the finer points of toilet cruising, became public more than a month-and-a-half ago, so it’s just about time for Richard Cohen to weigh in. Naturally, today’s column starts off with, wait for it, a “restless leg syndrome” joke that he then feels the need to explain. Further proof that the man does indeed have a fine sense of humor! MORE »