You know who used to be American, when he killed fucking foreigners in “World War II or Korea or one of these places,” while wearing the proper green “Army duds,” before liberal Hollywood turned him into a cocksucking cross-dresser? GI JOE THAT IS WHO, come on. MORE »

Hey guys, did you hear about the Negro Menace? Apparently it’s a growing problem for White America. MORE »

They have a big-ol Mark Foley story in the issue that drops this week — big revelation is that the White House knew about the Page-fucking, and convinced Foley to drop out of the Senate race before the rest of the world figured it out. Which we heard (and wrote something or other about) back in Cocktober. MORE »

This CNN graph of gas prices over the last couple decades, adjusted for inflation, proves it conclusively: George W. Bush is four cents away from being as bad a President as Jimmy Carter. By the only standard the electorate applies consistently, anyway. MORE »

Our long national nightmare etc. etc. etc. MORE »