Wonkette

Once again, Newsweek’s U.S. editors have chosen a stupid cover for Americans while filling all three international editions with interesting, in-depth articles about disturbing topics Americans should know.

Last time — just three weeks ago — the international editions’ cover story was “Losing Afghanistan.” The U.S. dummies got a cover story about a lesbian who takes pictures of celebrities.

It’s even worse this time around. More after the jump. Or, for U.S. readers: CLICK THESE RED WORDS! CLICK THEM WITH MOUSE, CLICK CLICK, BUY SPORTS DRINK & SNICKERS!

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• During his hour-long press conference yesterday, Bush announced a change in Iraq policy from “stay the course” to “don’t do what you’re doing if it’s not working.” North Korea policy to “keep on keepin’ on.” [WP, NYT]

• US commanders report that violence in Baghdad has reached an “all time high.” [USAT]
• Kirk Fordham will testify before the ethics committee, possibly prolonging Dennis Hastert’s agony for another week or two. [WP]
• Bush opens up and gives Hastert “full-throat” support. [NYT]
• The NRA, which doesn’t particularly care which party isn’t treading on them, is supporting 60 Democrats in the midterms. [WSJ]
• Justice Department charges US citizen with treason for first time since WWII. [LAT]
• Foley friend and Ohio candidate Deborah Pryce calls her Democratic challenger a homophobe. Also calls Foley a “fruit,” saying, “We have to work hard to turn this back into lemonade.” [NYT]
• Last night’s plane crash in Manhattan killed Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle. [NYT, NYT, NYT, NYT]
• In life, as in sports, Tom Boswell makes the roiled sea plain. [WP]

• UN, like Goldilocks, needs to find sanctions for North Korea that are not too harsh, not too weak. [WP, NYT, WSJ]

• White House believes nuclear test was a “big deal” even if the bomb was made out of chewing gum, popsicle sticks. [NYT, USAT]
• Kim Jong-Il isn’t crazy, just crazy in love with Bree Van De Kamp. [LAT]
• Hastert holds press conference to remind congressional staffers that shit still flows downhill. [WP, NYT]
• McCain unsure if it’s 2008 or 1998, blasts both Clintons to hedge his bets. [WP]
• More than twice as many Iraqis have died violently since 2003, than in the previous 20 years under the Hussein regime. [WSJ]
• The case of a recently killed Russian journalist and the long dead Russian independent media. [WP, NYT]

Comedy director David Zucker had a “security scare” in 2004 and went from depraved Clinton-loving Hollywood liberal to depraved Bush-loving Israel fanatic, as sometimes happens in the movie industry. Drudge is pushing this “too hot for Republicans” commercial that Zucker apparently made for the GOP. You watch it, and we’ll politely wait over here.

We sorta like it! It’s got that “I’m a crazy person with a blog and I’m gonna kill all the fucking Arabs” vibe that’s so lacking in official campaign commercials. MORE »

Guess who sold North Korea $200 million worth of nuclear reactors? Donald Rumsfeld, of course! MORE »

On the CBS news homepage, right now:

Thank God she’s on the case. For future Notebook segments, may we suggest: MORE »

• White House proposes that new, stricter sanctions on North Korea include weapons, Louis Vuitton Fall/Winter collection. [WP, NYT]

• “Axis of evil” still only 33% invaded. [WP]
• How the hell did they get that bomb anyway? [LAT]
• Papers publish polls. Probable voters pretty pissed at GOP. [WP, NYT, USAT]
• Democrats need to gain 15 seats to take control of the House, Republicans admit they plan to lose between 7 and 30. [WP]
• Hispanic population in US largely unregistered, those who do vote are open to pandering. [WSJ]
• South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki-moon to become new UN Secretary General. [NYT]
• Google buys YouTube for $1.65 billion, a price that was buoyed by the cute cat videos you uploaded last week. [NYT]

• North Korean bomb was mad ghetto, their “nuclear scientists are now officially the worst ever.” [Defense Tech]

• Yup, it’s definitely gonna happen: Stewart-Colbert ‘08. [Comedy Central Insider]
• They’ve got our vote, even if Jon refuses to admit how much he really, really loves us. [Above The Law]
• Voting machines nationwide will have the election results pre-entered by the Secretaries of State, so might as well learn their names. [Hullabaloo]
• Grassroots get-out-the-vote tactics using celebrities from the B,C, and D lists. [Democratic Party Blog]
• Ray Nagin endorses William Jefferson, calls him a “black Clyde Barrow dude.” [KATC News via MoJo Blog]
• Washington state: where all the state representatives wear sombreros, and “puke ‘n rally” is a given. [Shakespeare's Sister, The Stranger]
• Ah, the mushroom cloud photoshop gags — funny until they’re not. [Sanctuary]
• Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! It’s like 9/11 and Halloween all rolled into one. NEVER FORGET

We know George W. likes to give out nicknames and they’re usually infantile and/or vulgar — just like ours! — but this new Woodward book we’re never going to read apparently reveals the worst nickname of all:

George W. pulled Bandar aside.

“Bandar, I guess you’re the best asshole who knows about the world. Explain to me one thing.”

“Governor, what is it?”

“Why should I care about North Korea?”

Oh, and it looks like the Saudis played Bush for a fool on the whole North Korea thing, telling him to forget about Lil’ Kim — easy enough! — and just focus on the Middle East. MORE »

Now we don’t have to read about Mark Foley’s crazy “pranks.”

What’s creepier than Mark Foley’s IMs or even Dennis Hastert’s “Casual Encounters” messages? MORE »