At Least It Has Mt. Rushmore? Oh Wait, That’s The South One
Monday, September 22nd, 2008
- The FBI invaded a dorm party thrown by the college sophomore who “hacked” Palin’s email, but he escaped, and is probably hiding out in the bedroom of any girl who watched him outrun the Feds. [Fresh Intelligence]
- Obama is stockpiling all America’s guns for himself, forcing this poor Bitter to go into the woods and find Obama and shoot him with the last remaining deer rifle. [Ben Smith]
- Use this Internet website to convince the government to buy all your dumb shit when you eventually move to the Dominican Republic, to live in Charlie Rangel’s illegal pleasure villa. [Matthew Yglesias]
- In the grand tradition of all people to have visited North Dakota, Obama has decided to get the hell out of there. [CNN Political Ticker]
- Looks like McCain’s plan to postpone all the Trooper-Gate business until after the election worked. This will be accomplished by hiding Palin from some tuff-guy named “Branchflower” until January. [TPMMuckraker]
- The FBI invaded a dorm party thrown by the college sophomore who “hacked” Palin’s email, but he escaped, and is probably hiding out in the bedroom of any girl who watched him outrun the Feds. [Fresh Intelligence]
- Obama is stockpiling all America’s guns for himself, forcing this poor Bitter to go into the woods and find Obama and shoot him with the last remaining deer rifle. [Ben Smith]
- Use this Internet website to convince the government to buy all your dumb shit when you eventually move to the Dominican Republic, to live in Charlie Rangel’s illegal pleasure villa. [Matthew Yglesias]
- In the grand tradition of all people to have visited North Dakota, Obama has decided to get the hell out of there. [CNN Political Ticker]
- Looks like McCain’s plan to postpone all the Trooper-Gate business until after the election worked. This will be accomplished by hiding Palin from some tuff-guy named “Branchflower” until January. [TPMMuckraker]
There’s some big news coming out of North Dakota State University, America’s college. The school’s “Saddle and Sirloin Club” held a Mr. NDSU contest recently, and some strange things happened: “People who attended said a pageant contestant from Saddle and Sirloin dressed as a woman from the Internet video ‘I Got a Crush on Obama’ and performed [a lap dance] for another student who was wearing dark makeup and an afro wig. In the background, two male students dressed as cowboys simulated anal sex while holding an Obama sign that one student ripped at the conclusion of the 30-second performance.” Too much Sirloin for the Saddle, as Hillary Clinton likes to say about penises. [
A reader sends us this creepy photo of a tottering shack perched on the edge of a snow mound in a remote corner of the planet Hoth. Or is it maybe North Dakota? Wherever this tragic construction lies, one Wonkette insider assures us it is “Ron Paul’s House.” Has our favorite Texas congressman actually retired to some hermit’s lair in the frigid north? 
Senator Byron Dorgan (D-Caddyshack) wants you to know that he hates prairie dogs. Hates, hates, hates ‘em. Did you know there are more prairie dogs than people in his county?
North Dakota’s legislature proved that it was totally in favor of everyone in Africa dying of AIDS while owing rich people money by defeating a vote to honor Bono for his humanitarian work. The measure was sponsored by Rep. Scot Kelsh, who will always associate the The Unforgettable Fire with those days in college when he stayed up late talking with his friends about things that really mattered, man. 
Hoeven’s lovely young daughter went on to star in “One Day at a Time” and marry rocker Eddie Van Halen.
When the blogs were going on about 