Tag Archives: north carolina

  Civil Whites March

KKK Throwing Totally Non-Racist Confederate Flag Party At South Carolina Capitol

Hello KKKitty
In South Carolina, the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan are planning to rally in support of the Confederate flag at the South Carolina Statehouse July 18. Yr Wonkette is wholly in favor of the event, since it will be the first completely honest show of support for the treason rag. We love Bree Newsome, the woman who climbed up and pulled the flag down Saturday, but the Klan’s support may actually be far more effective at getting the flag permanently removed from the Statehouse. Read more on KKK Throwing Totally Non-Racist Confederate Flag Party At South Carolina Capitol…
  Here Is The Church Here Is The Steeple...Damn!

African American Churches Sure Burning Down A Lot, Probably War on Christians

Yes, we know none of the churches were in Mississippi. But YOU try finding a movie called 'Georgia,Tennessee, Florida and Both Carolinas Burning'
This is a bad thing: Six African American churches have been burned, since the June 17 murders of nine people at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, and arson is suspected in at least three of the fires. The FBI and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives are investigating, and while there’s no evidence yet that the fires are connected (and accidental causes are suspected in two fires), four Southern black churches burning within a week of a racist murder seems statistically unlikely to be pure random chance. Read more on African American Churches Sure Burning Down A Lot, Probably War on Christians…
  Burn That Mother Down

Hero Shows Removing Confederate Flag Mostly A Matter Of Pulling The Damned Thing Down

Always wear a helmet when tearing down a symbol of oppression
Meet your new national hero, Bree Newsome, of Raleigh, North Carolina, who was arrested Saturday morning for climbing the flagpole outside the South Carolina Statehouse in Columbia and taking down the Confederate flag, taking a rather more direct approach to the problem than Nikki “Brave Sir Nikki” Haley has. The New York Times notes that Newsome was “nearly halfway up the pole when a State Capitol police officer on routine patrol ordered her to come down. The authorities said the woman, who was wearing climbing gear, had ignored the command.” In a remarkable show of restraint, the cops did not shoot her for ignoring their commands, which suggests that our law enforcement officers is learning. Read more on Hero Shows Removing Confederate Flag Mostly A Matter Of Pulling The Damned Thing Down…
  Empathy Has No Place In The Classroom

NC Teacher Resigns After Reading Kids Fairy Tale With The Queer Kind Of Fairies

Why is the little prince bringing flaming asparagus to a wedding?
Thanks to protests by easily-outraged parents, a teacher and an assistant principal at an elementary school in Efland, North Carolina, have resigned after the teacher read third-graders a perfectly innocuous book about a gay prince who finds love. The teacher, Omar Currie, read the story to his class after overhearing students taunting a boy in his class, calling him “gay” and saying he was acting like a girl. He’d borrowed the book from Assistant Principal Meg Goodhand, so she had to go, too — far too much gay propaganda thrown at innocent children who were simply exercising their constitutional right to bully a little homo. Read more on NC Teacher Resigns After Reading Kids Fairy Tale With The Queer Kind Of Fairies…
  Nobody Said The Law Has To Be Equal Did They?

Prosecutor Says Latino Wife-Beaters Are Cool, As Long As They Beat Their Own Kind

Because there really aren't any funny illustrations for this topic
Back in 2000, Congress did a good thing. It made it possible for undocumented immigrants who were victims of domestic violence to get a special visa — called “U visa” — to encourage victims to come forward and get help. It’s a pretty smart program, except it has one little problem: Local prosecutors decide whether to process the victim’s applications, and some local prosecutors are assholes, like the district attorney for Gaston County, North Carolina, who has the Ultimate Southern DA name of Locke Bell. Mr. Bell decided, all on his own, to reject a U visa application from a pregnant woman whose boyfriend punched her in the stomach, and he offered this flawless reason: He’s pretty sure the law “was never intended to protect Latinos from Latinos.” Why, that’s just silly — only commies think illegal immigrants are real people. Read more on Prosecutor Says Latino Wife-Beaters Are Cool, As Long As They Beat Their Own Kind…
  let's challenge her to a rap battle

Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it’s time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week’s top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband’s charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of “Mitt’s posse.” Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an “Obamaphone.” Read more on Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten….
  weep for the oppressed Christian majority

North Carolina Official Not About To Listen To Ay-Rabs Makin’ Prayers To Allah Or Whoever

If you don't pray in Jesus's name, the big guy in the sky can't hear you.
North Carolina’s Lincoln County doesn’t have any Jewish, Muslim or Hindu houses of worship, but that does not mean the godless liberal Ay-rabs, with their San Francisco Sharia Law values, aren’t currently attacking the poor Christians who populate the rural county. This is why Carrol Mitchem, chairman of the Lincoln County Board of Commissioners, has chosen a particularly stupid passion in life, which is making sure all county meetings start with prayers to Jesus, only Jesus, and definitely none of them Funny Gods from Foreigner-ville: Read more on North Carolina Official Not About To Listen To Ay-Rabs Makin’ Prayers To Allah Or Whoever…
  Grrrrrl power

North Carolina Will Make You Wait For That Abortion Until You Realize You Don’t Want It

You're cool with this now, right?
Chicks, amirite? So hormonal and impulsive and never knowing what they really want. That’s why they are lucky to have the North Carolina General Assembly to protect them from making bad decisions, with HB 465 — a bill to extend the state’s 24-hour waiting period for abortions to 72 hours, which passed on Thursday. Because really, is one day enough time to realize you don’t want to kill your baby? Probably not. Read more on North Carolina Will Make You Wait For That Abortion Until You Realize You Don’t Want It…
  The Second Amendment does not rest on Sundays sheeple

North Carolina Won’t Let You Hunt On Sundays, Thanks Obama

Yay, puns!
Did you know that in Obama’s America (okay, Obama’s North Carolina), you can’t wake up on Sunday morning and go hunting? No, seriously, this is a thing! Under current law, hunters, on their own property, or with the property owner’s permission, are not allowed to decide that Sunday is a good day to say “screw church” and set to the truly worshipful task of bagging a buck. So members of the North Carolina House are trying to fix that with HB 640. But who’s against it? Church people! Even though the law says you can’t hunt within 300 yards of a church, these obviously crazy people are worried about things like stray bullets hitting Nana while she’s singing “Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow,” like stray bullets even exist. Read more on North Carolina Won’t Let You Hunt On Sundays, Thanks Obama…
  Kansas blows a lot

Kansas Invents New Name For Abortion Procedure, Then Bans It Because It Sounds Icky

Actual picture of Gov. Brownback
Sure, Kansas is going right down the toilet because Gov. Sam Brownback’s magic tax cuts have failed to fix the state’s big ol’ budget hole. But that doesn’t mean Gov. Blows A Lot couldn’t find time this week to sign a shiny new anti-abortion bill into law. He’s got priorities, you know: Read more on Kansas Invents New Name For Abortion Procedure, Then Bans It Because It Sounds Icky…
  Nice Time kinda sorta maybe?

Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops

Helpful hints
  It’s not all bad news on the Religious Freedom front! Yes, Indiana is suffering under the weight of a dumb governor who signed a “religious freedom” bill explicitly designed so that the put-upon wingnuts of the state don’t ever have to look at gay people. And yes, many other states are currently considering similar laws. However, news comes today that there are three places where Republicans (!!!) are standing up and mouthing the words, “I do not want our state to be a national joke like Indiana.” It doesn’t necessarily mean the laws won’t pass — for every smart Republican there are exactly 7,000 stupid ones — but at least there is a glimmer of sanity on the horizon. Read more on Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops…
  He May Not Have Thought This One Through

Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian

Retroactive Christians
Never one to miss the chance to make a tragedy just a little more awful, Colorado wingnut preacher/state legislator Gordon “Disgraced former chaplain ‘Dr. Chaps'” Klingenschmitt has decided that the terrible murder of three Muslim students in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, proves that Christians are in mortal danger in U.S. America. Read more on Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian…
  Homo-nazis will have to destroy North Carolina later too busy trying to find a place to pee

Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling ‘Pervert!’ At It

Last night, the Southern town of Charlotte, North Carolina, did a real big stupid, failing to pass an anti-discrimination ordinance that would add LGBT people to the list of protected groups. Wingnut opponents of the ordinance, of course, were most worried about the possibility that somewhere, somehow, a transgender person might be out there responding to the call of nature, and not even ashamed of themselves for it. This is an outrage, because how dare they, despite what you have heard in children’s books, NOT EVERYBODY POOPS, especially not transgender people! Read more on Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling ‘Pervert!’ At It…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  People Are Horrible: An Ongoing Series

Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims

Retroactive Christians
Congratulations, America, we have a whole new terrible murder to turn into a debating point in the Culture Wars! And just to mix things up a bit, the victims were three Muslim students (all of them apparently smart over-achievers who should have had beautiful lives ahead of them), and the accused killer is described variously as an “atheist,” a “radical atheist,” or a “crazed progressive atheist.” Read more on Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims…
  so we're all good then right?

Judge Exonerates 14-Year-Old Black Boy 70 Years Later. Execution Harder To Reverse

Remember, America has nothing to apologize for. It was a long time ago. Robert Byrd was in the KKK. The NAACP are the real racists. This is just a distraction from Benghazi.
A South Carolina judge has thrown out the 1944 murder conviction of George Stinney Jr., who had been convicted of murdering two young white girls whose heads were smashed with something like a railroad spike. Stinney, 14 years old, was tried in two hours and found guilty after ten minutes of deliberation — by an all-white jury, of course — and sentenced to death. It was a model of speedy justice, Jim Crow style, summarized here by The Washington Post’s Lindsey Bever: Read more on Judge Exonerates 14-Year-Old Black Boy 70 Years Later. Execution Harder To Reverse…
  Pretty Sure Jefferson And Adams Never Mentioned Feminazis

Rush Limbaugh’s Crappy Books Will Save Kids From A.P. History

Why teach American history when you can worship it instead?
The Grand Freakout over revisions to the Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) exam continues. As you recall, the College Board’s changes to the APUSH test — which downplay memorization and emphasize more engagement with primary historical texts — have set off all kinds of fretting on the right, which worries that students won’t be told that America is the kindest bravest warmest most wonderful nation that’s ever existed. Read more on Rush Limbaugh’s Crappy Books Will Save Kids From A.P. History…
  roger ailes on line two

GOP Lady Who Called Obama Daughters Skanks Has Always Had Strong Opinions That Suck

Damn right we're going to wring every page view out of this low-hanging fruit we can.
Man did we have a good laugh the other day at the sordid tale of Elizabeth Lauten, the shitwitted GOP staffer and future crazy cat lady who thought it was a good idea to publicly slut-shame President Obama’s daughters for being teenagers and then needed God and her mommy and daddy to convince her that eh, maybe she should not have done that. Lauten lost her job as a result of her indiscretion and the story should have died right there. We had not counted on the Washington Post deciding to wring every last drop they could out of the smoking ruins of Lauten’s career by assigning a foreign-affairs reporter to drop that important story about international relations and comb through the twit’s Internet history to find some more of her embarrassing maunderings. Read more on GOP Lady Who Called Obama Daughters Skanks Has Always Had Strong Opinions That Suck…
  Wonkette Guide to Electoral Shenanigans

Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day

  When it comes to threats against fair elections in America, voter fraud is the new Black Panthers. The way everyone’s talking about electoral integrity this fall, people must be fake-voting coast to coast! With the midterm elections coming up on Tuesday, it’s time to ask: Is voter fraud right for you? Read more on Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day…