north carolina

Dear Hotty Charlotte Mayor Patrick Cannon, The Touch, the Sigh, the Moment when we wake at Night, in a cold sweat knowing it was just a dream and you are as far from us as you can be, because of how you will probably be going to prison. Our darling, how long must we be […]

Liberal lovegod Ronan Farrow and weird political freakshow Glenn Beck don’t agree on much of anything, but here’s a Kumbayah, We Are The World moment for you: both say bullying a 9-year-old boy who likes My Little Pony is bad, and if boys want to like a cartoon “for girls,” that’s actually just fine, thanks. […]

You all remember how the Republicans made a big show after Nobummer’s re-election of learning that maybe putting all their eggs in the ‘angry white man’ basket might not work in modern America? That lasted about 2.8 seconds, until Republicans started, you know, being Republican. But since the report that outlined that sincere push was […]

We aren’t even sure that it’s news any more when a Republican says that the President of the United States is the worstest most horrible person ever, because that is like printed on GOP letterhead by now, isn’t it? Still, this seems like maybe it’s a new click of the old “He’s not one of […]

So this funny thing happened: North Carolina’s dick governor, Pat McCrory, went with a bunch of aides to photo op at a grocery store or something (fanfare for the common man-styley) and the guy who went to help him realized who he was and was super-rude to him and got fired. The guy, Drew Swope, […]

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape our browser tabs for the stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether but not quite worth a full post, stir in some weapons-grade snark, and serve it up to you. We recommend you add your own mental lubricant, but not right before you […]

We’ve been laughing along with everyone else at the idea of Clay Aiken running for Congress, and shared the sentiment of his opponent, Tea Party Congresscritter Renee Ellmers, who pointed and laughed and said Aiken couldn’t even win “American Idol.” We have to eat some words because his campaign announcement is kinda the real deal. […]

So we all know that the GOP is trying really hard to keep ‘undesirables’ from voting — whether we are talking about youngsters, racial minorities, or anyone who might be too poor to afford proper ID. (Thanks, SCOTUS.) But North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory (R-1950s) has come up with a novel way to disenfranchise minorities: […]

The administration of North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory wants to make it absolutely clear that it had no intention at all of blocking the NAACP from protesting the state’s far-right legislature at the Capitol building, not at all. It just denied the group a permit because it was worried that a gathering of over 100 […]

We’re actually a little sympathetic to North Carolina state Sen. Bob Rucho, who twattered this over the weekend. Metaphors are hard, and sometimes when you really dislike something, it’s hard not to just pile on. After all, for heaven’s sake, people have been comparing Obamacare to the Nazis, or to the gulags, for years now. […]

Once more unto the comment queue, dear Wonkenologists, and what do we find? Aha! An astute analysis, by one “michaelfrivero,” of the serious lack of critical thinking in our coverage of Everest Wilhelmen, the gentleman from “Christian American Patriots Militia” who said that as far as he’s concerned, he now has authority to shoot Obama […]

In Monroe, North Carolina, Dorian Lee Harper and Wanda Sue Larson were arrested Friday and charged with child abuse after a deputy found their 11-year-old foster child handcuffed to the couple’s front porch. With a dead chicken tied around his neck. We’re pretty sure that one’s not even in the Bible, though we’re constantly being […]

Finally, here’s a story about an idiot with a gun that we can laugh at without feeling like terrible people! Last Tuesday evening, Some Unknown Guy went to the Winkler Street GNC in Wilkesboro, North Carolina, like we all do when we need to buy some foul-tasting dehydrated fat to make us fatter, or just […]

When we woke up this morning, we felt a disturbing vibe that left us with a dread akin to the thought of motorboating Chris Christie’s moobs. We soon realized that this was not the fault of the sweet, god-fearing, kindhearted and ultra-loving GOP, but rather because we were drowning in a sea of hatred, spawned […]

Last week we had the North Carolina county GOP guy who was forced to resign after telling the Daily Show that, sure, the state’s voter-suppression laws were more about reducing the Democratic vote than addressing voter fraud, and if that hurt “lazy black people that wants the government to give them everything,” well, that’s OK […]