Tag: nonsense

ryan c, man's pocket Constitution says this is some bullshit, man.

Surprise! Ryan Bundy Goes Full Sovereign Citizen, Declares Self ‘Idiot’ Not Subject To Your Damn Laws

Oregon wildlife refuge occupier Ryan Bundy filed a bunch of nonsense legal paperwork declaring himself a 'sovereign citizen' who is not subject to the law. Oddly enough , he remains in jail.

Don’t Listen To Teevee Chefs About Sunscreen Plz

Oh thank God, it's the Snake Oil Bulletin!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Bet You Didn’t Know Cashews Had To Be ‘Activated’

A hearty hello to you! Welcome once again to the Snake Oil Bulletin! We hope you enjoyed your Holy Festival of Ballfoot this weekend, wherein our finest young virgins were cast into the boiling bowl of super to be...
Fresh out of butt jokes this week.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Butt-Chugging Gluten With The Food Babe

Land o' Goshen! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly round-up of the best in pseudoscientific woo-wooey nonsense to catch the attention of your most handsome salesman, Dr. Fare la Volpe, Naturopathic Chi Master DDS. We've got...
Fresh out of butt jokes this week.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don’t Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!

Greetings and Salutations, friends! Do you have aches and pains what ail you? Are you afflicted by rheumatism, King’s evil, and the French pox? Do you seek the fantastical cures to these maladies and more, and maybe a little...

Angry Old Man At WND Pretty Sure That NAMBLA Is Going To Take Over The National Cathedral

We thumbed through our archives and realized we really don't pay enough heed to the comedy stylings of Les Kinsolving over at WND, and that's a crying shame, because he has the slightly-unhinged yet wholly cranky anger that only...

Tom Delay Reminds America That God Wrote The Constitution And George Washington Rose From The Dead

Looks like now that ol' Tom DeLay's legal troubles are in the past, he's busy polishing up his credentials for the next phase of his life on the Wingnut Welfare circuit. In addition to his glee at getting his...

U.K. Has Its Own Elizabeth Warren, But She Yells At Google Instead Of Ben Bernanke (Video)

We here at Wonkette have a big melty spot (OUR HEART, PERVS) for ladies what yell at people. We are absolutely sure this has nothing to do with our upbringing, which as we recall was filled with gentle murmurings,...

Obama Can’t Stop Revealing How He Stole Election

You Wonkettians, in your lie-brul enclaves. Why, you probably haven't even spent ONE SINGLE MINUTE seething about Obummer's "victory" since the election ended. No, you're still celebrating with hardcore S&M bondage, lattes, sacrifices to the Dark Lord, and driving...

Noted Historian Sarah Palin Thinks Barack Obama Is Just Like Robespierre, If She Knew Who Robespierre Was

Former half-term GILF and current Facebook celebrity Sarah Palin thinks Barack Obama is a very bad man. What did the Kenyan Usurper do this time? He said "Voting is the best revenge." As you can imagine, this is the...

Insane, Crabby Lesbian Jack Welch Quits ‘Fortune’ Like A Little Bitch

Hey remember last week? Probably not, it was last week. Well that was when the new jobs numbers came out, putting unemployment below 8 percent for the first time in President Afrika Bambaata's presidency and destroying in one blow...

Horrible Dragon Lady Liz Cheney Thinks Czechoslovakia Is Still A Thing

Before repeatedly using his deal with Satan to cheat death, former Vice President and It’s A Wonderful Life villain Dick Cheney brought spawn into the world and it immediately began saying horrible things that are false and stupid. Today,...

Powerful Gov’t Twitter Monster In Puerto Rico Always Shouting Racist Nonsense at Obama

It's time for your Thursday Puerto Rico Roundup! What's going on in that little island that we own or whatever this week? Well, they've got a racist Twitter lady type situation going down. Watch out! And how about that,...

Daily Caller: Barack Obama Such A Loser He Only Killed Bin Laden Once

OH NOEZ Barack H. Christ has not killed Osama Bin Laden dead often enough for the pleasant fellows of the Daily Caller, as their screaming headlines insist he let OBL go three times (before killing him). Let us hear...

Hot Gossip Interview With Wonkette’s Own Former Cranbrook Preppy, Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Yesterday we learned all about how young Willard "Mitt" Romney used to terrorize gay people with scissors during his time at the Cranbrook Boarding School For Youths Of A Certain Gentility. And then our own Kirsten Boyd Johnson was...

Emotional Video Reminds Everyone That Sarah Palin Is the Queen Of Teabagger Ladies

Sarah Palin's PAC released a video today that features Palin spouting out some of her nonsense catchphrases over swelling music and video of various Teabagger women being angry about that socialist black guy. Politico calls this a "campaign-style video,"...