Tag Archives: nom

  bad analogies

NOM Spokesbigot Says It’s Bad For Teachers To Secretly Gas Jews, Be Lesbians

Not qualified to be a teacher.
The National Organization For Marriage (NOM nom nom), you know them, right? Hilariously failed organization that for some reason still exists, even though the Supreme Court crammed gay marriage right up all American bottoms at the end of June, despite all the Hail Mary passes wingnuts tried to throw? Well, apparently NOM’s staff isn’t quite ready to start filling out job applications, probably because they’re not qualified for anything outside the bigot field, so they are still raising money and talking about things. Read more on NOM Spokesbigot Says It’s Bad For Teachers To Secretly Gas Jews, Be Lesbians…
  After we stopped crying we started giggling

Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America

HELP, JESUS!
When news broke that the Supreme Court had forcibly crammed gay marriage down the throatholes of every God-fearing American, our first instinct (AFTER CRYING) was go check Bryan Fischer’s Twitter-Twatter page. And he had said nothing! “WAKE UP, BRYAN FISCHER!,” we said to no one in particular, but apparently we successfully summoned the demon, because HOLY SHIT Y’ALL, he is having a meltdown of the most beautiful, epic proportions. Let’s point and laugh as Bryan Fischer explains how gay jihadists have just done a whole new 9/11 to America: Read more on Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America…
  Next they'll be giving their Lifetime Achievement Award to dead George Wallace

Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore

A group that calls itself the Coalition of African-American Pastors has finally found a freedom fighter worthy of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy, and it is the holistically bigoted Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, he who has been heroically standing in the gay courthouse door, for freedom, pretty much this entire year, and whose court buddies on Tuesday decided to set up camp in their own courthouse doors to protect Alabama from gay marriage, at least until SCOTUS crams it down all their throats for good in June. Read more on Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore…
  humanum

Vatican Throws Festival Of Homophobia

  What you see above is not, despite all appearances, your freshman roomie’s botched and infected yin-yang tattoo, but a symbol of unity and celebration! It celebrates the matched sets of opposite-sexers who keep our planet from flying apart, according to the organizers of “Humanum: An International Interreligious Colloquium on the Complementarity of Man and Woman,” held this week at the Vatican. Read more on Vatican Throws Festival Of Homophobia…
  Thanks but no thanks

National Organization For Marriage Tries To Cram Endorsement Down Democrat’s Throat

Nobody actually listens to these assholes. Nobody.
Image via The New Civil Rights Movement The National Organization for Marriage is just about as dead as opposition to marriage equality itself. NOM is pretty darned sure homophobia is going to be making a big comeback any day now — any day, you’ll see! — and when it does, NOM will be there, telling all of us sinners and friends of sinners that NOM was right all along about how The Gay would destroy America and the family and the sanctity of Newt Gingrich’s three marriages and freedom and then America some more, thanks in no small part to the Obama administration’s evil fascist agenda to let gays do paperwork together, IMPEACH! Read more on National Organization For Marriage Tries To Cram Endorsement Down Democrat’s Throat…
  poutine on airs

Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore

S-M-R-T
With the Supreme Court cramming the civilization-wrecking horror of gay marriage down America’s throat until it tickled our epiglottis and coated our larynx with sweet, milky equality, we were expecting waves of hysterical overreactions from wingnuts everywhere. Sure, there were a few. Gay-panic vector Bryan Fischer worked himself into his usual froth at the idea of the Court legitimizing “sodomy-based marriage.” Genocide Ben Shapiro threw a hilarious temper tantrum in the satin-lined nooks of Dead Breitbart’s Mausoleum for Cocaine-Fueled Rage Monkeys, citing 2003’s Lawrence v. Texas decision as a related case that found “anal penetration was a hard-fought Constitutional right.” Organizations like the National Organization for Marriage (NOM … oh, nom nom nom) issued an incoherent denouncement threatening to behead – with votes – any Republican lawmakers who did not reaffirm the principle of traditional marriage, “a pillar of the party’s founding in 1856.” (Somewhere in the afterlife, John C. Fremont looked up and said, “What?”) But mostly, the reaction felt muted. Read more on Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore…
  how come the devil gets all the good companies

Anti-Gay Groups Declare Victory In War On Starbucks

If you’re anything like us, and we know you are (yeah, we tried to make that sound better too, but there’s no help for it thanks to the royal “we”), you’ve been wondering how you can best hoard your hard-earned dollars to ensure that companies are punished for liking, or even just tolerating, teh ghey. You have to hate General Mills and give up delicious Cheerios and instead eat those weird Cheerio knockoffs that come in a bag. You can’t use the Google and instead have to use Bing just like the olds do. You have to stop using T-Mobile…OK, that’s actually not so bad. Make sure to reserve your super-duper-wuper-extra hate for JC Penney, though, as they hired AN ACTUAL LESBIAN to do some things: Read more on Anti-Gay Groups Declare Victory In War On Starbucks…
  manic street preachers

Street Preachers Threatening To Rape Lesbians At Michigan Pride Event May Be Doing It Wrong

Good news, white people! We have found some actual black racists at a Michigan Gay Day event, so because of this, you are correct that whites are never bigots! LOGIC! Yay you! And in heartening news for the National Organization for Marriage, they are super gay-hatey too! And to echo the immortal plea of Abigail Adams, don’t forget to hate on the ladies! “And if your ass get to going out there like you said, guess what?” a supercrazy black supremacist Bible man says to a Gay Day participant. “You get raped. And that’s what’s going to happen to you. … Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do. Do you understand?” Yes? We understand? But oh, there is ever so much more! Read more on Street Preachers Threatening To Rape Lesbians At Michigan Pride Event May Be Doing It Wrong…