Tag: nom

Huck would like to bitch and moan some more please.

Mike Huckabee Hates The Religious Right And Wishes It Were Dead

Mike Huckabee's river of leaking butthurt continues to flood across America. Hope you're wearing your parka and your galoshes! He's really upset because nobody loves him, even after he's done SO MUCH to lick the areolas of the establishment religious right....
SEXXXXXXXXX

Mike Huckabee Begs Judge To Send Him To Jail, Make Him Sexy Christian Martyr Too

So, Kim Davis is having a big day! First she woke up in a jail cell and chatted with her bunkmate Myrtle about the best way to hide a shiv inside a Bible (cut out all the compassionate Jesus...
Not qualified to be a teacher.

NOM Spokesbigot Says It’s Bad For Teachers To Secretly Gas Jews, Be Lesbians

The National Organization For Marriage (NOM nom nom), you know them, right? Hilariously failed organization that for some reason still exists, even though the Supreme Court crammed gay marriage right up all American bottoms at the end of June,...
HELP, JESUS!

Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America

When news broke that the Supreme Court had forcibly crammed gay marriage down the throatholes of every God-fearing American, our first instinct (AFTER CRYING) was go check Bryan Fischer's Twitter-Twatter page. And he had said nothing! "WAKE UP, BRYAN...
Jesus needs to fix everybody in this week's Top Ten.

Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore

A group that calls itself the Coalition of African-American Pastors has finally found a freedom fighter worthy of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s legacy, and it is the holistically bigoted Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, he who has...

Vatican Throws Festival Of Homophobia

  What you see above is not, despite all appearances, your freshman roomie's botched and infected yin-yang tattoo, but a symbol of unity and celebration! It celebrates the matched sets of opposite-sexers who keep our planet from flying apart, according to the organizers...
Nobody actually listens to these assholes. Nobody.

National Organization For Marriage Tries To Cram Endorsement Down Democrat’s Throat

The National Organization for Marriage is just about as dead as opposition to marriage equality itself. NOM is pretty darned sure homophobia is going to be making a big comeback any day now -- any day, you'll see! --...
Presidential material (the dog that is)

We Get It, Mitt Romney Still Wants To Be President, Still Will Never Be President

Mitt Romney is subtle as a jackhammer. He's got his friends and family dropping all the hints, winking all the winks, and he's got the "liberal" "media" fluffing him like he's Ron friggin' Jeremy. For example: Romney has huddled with...
S-M-R-T

Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore

With the Supreme Court cramming the civilization-wrecking horror of gay marriage down America's throat until it tickled our epiglottis and coated our larynx with sweet, milky equality, we were expecting waves of hysterical overreactions from wingnuts everywhere. Sure, there were...

Anti-Gay Groups Declare Victory In War On Starbucks

If you're anything like us, and we know you are (yeah, we tried to make that sound better too, but there's no help for it thanks to the royal "we"), you've been wondering how you can best hoard your...

Street Preachers Threatening To Rape Lesbians At Michigan Pride Event May Be Doing It Wrong

Good news, white people! We have found some actual black racists at a Michigan Gay Day event, so because of this, you are correct that whites are never bigots! LOGIC! Yay you! And in heartening news for the National...