If the Phillies win the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter a cheesecake and Kristen Gillibrand. BUT, if the Phillies lose the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter Kristen Gillibrand. Quite the wager. [The Caucus]
Remember that part in the Bible — Chapter 3? — when Jesus decides to clothesline a downtrodden leper, who only wanted a glass of water and maybe a few soothing words to ease his suffering? That was really out of character, but a superb plot twist. [True/Slant: Harmon Leon]
Gorbachev talks about the Nobel Peace Prize, Barack Obama, and his upcoming solo album. [The Cable]
You have every right to be angry that Columbia students made a very offensive rap about FOX news, but at least be happy that you are not flushing $80,000 down the toilet in J-school. [Gatway Pundit]
Hezbollah cooked up a two-ton bowl of hummus and then invited the entire Middle East to the grandest hummus party in recorded history, while Israel — who for obvious reasons was not invited — sat at home and sulked. [Matt Yglesias]
It is Hell-o-ween come early, children. Gather ’round, for Dame Peggington Noonington, chief word-writer for the notable Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, hath composed a Second Weekly Article, doubleth her normal output. She worketh harder than most humans. It is her Duty and she shall performeth it, in times of national crisis, such as it was Friday. That was when disastrous monster Barack Obama accepted his Nobel Peace Prize, from the communists! Peggington heard this news item on her radio machine, Ate nine pills, and typed — for Madame was furious at this, “this wicked and ignorant award, this mischievous honor.” MORE »
Now New York Timesconservo-bot Ross DouthatDOESN’T THINK it was the worst thing ever for Obama to accept that Nobel Peace Prize, like those ideological conservatives do — those conservatives are so crazy and nuts;, he’s not like them! — but he does think, you know, maybe they have a point?? Maybe they’re on to something? It’s another Monday with Ross Douthat! MORE »
War-loving Bill Kristol — in histerrifying “Quick take from The Post’s opinion writers” — thinks that it is so hilarious for Barack Obama to receive and accept the Nobel Peace Prize that he need not even write about how hilarious it is, it is just that hilarious. He has a better suggestion for a recipient, though, and that would be the person who loves war most of all: “We could note that, if the Swedes Norwegians wanted to give the Nobel Peace Prize to an American, it would have been been better to give it to Sen. John McCain for having the guts to push through the surge in Iraq, which has brought relative peace to that country. But that would be overkill. The choice is so self-evidently Not a Parody that no explanation is required or possible.” Oh, pardon moi — “ha and/or ha.” Now he will have his afternoon tea. MORE »
Barbara Boxer sees Brad Woodhouse’s “Republicans = Taliban” and raises him a “Republicans, namely Michael Steele = Taliban + Hamas,” which is true, but not really because of Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize. MORE »
Some of the most ominous words you can read on the entire Washington Internet are, “Quick takes by The Post’s opinion writers.” The Washington Post has an entire blog for this sort of thing. Usually it is just like, “Wait, what happened? Oh my god you better bomb it immediately!” All other posts are the World’s Worst Writer, Richard Cohen, “riffing” on the morning’s news. “I am prepping to destroy this ethos of ‘comprehensive incrementalism,’ artfully.” Do not click on this link. [Washington Post]
CBS’ Chip Reid, who loves such things as Dick Cheney, is furious at the White House and Robert Gibbs for essentially giving Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, and then accepting it. Where’s Ronald Reagan’s Prize? Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and Barack Obama — all gays. MORE »
So! Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this morning and everyone on Earth—and the moon, way 2 stick it out moon!—could not be more surprised. Look at Robert Gibbs, just cold saying “wow” on a Twitter thing belonging to CBS person Mark Knoller! And “Erick Erickson,” some sort of retarded cousin of Robbie Robertson and #1 journalist on top Internet destination RedState.com is just a little caught off guard because he “did not realize the Nobel Peace Prize had an affirmative action quota for it.” Someone get Erick Erickson every single gold medal from the 2016 Olympics. MORE »
WELL, WELL: Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize! For nuclear things! Anyway this is better than at least 3/5 of the summer Olympic events. [New York Times]
The moon, well, most of it, managed to prolong its existence overnight despite NASA’s best efforts. [New York Times]
160-ish people were killed in mudslides in the Philippines. The last time things were this flood-y there was 40 years ago. [AP]
A car bomb in Pakistan killed 42 people and injured 60 more. No one officially took credit but people are generally thinking “Taliban.” [Times Online]
Olympia Snowe arguably still matters. This seems tenuous! Anyway, the LA Times has interviewed every known resident of Maine to prove it. [LA Times]
Gen. McChrystal and the military people would like 40,000 troops sent to Afghanistan. [WSJ]
U.S. President George W. Bush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for “fighting terrorism and promoting world peace,” according to a BBC News report. Bush has successfully promoted peace and democracy in many terrorist nations, including Iraq and Afghanistan, while making Americans safer and more prosperous at home. MORE »
So every goddamn Democrat (and the horse molester) is issuing a statement congratulating Al Gore on his Nobel Peace Prize. Big whoop, perfunctory back-slapping etc etc. Of some hilarious significance, however, is the Bill Richardson campaign’s official response. The New Mexico governor’s people call the response “well-deserved” and note how “For over twenty years, [Gore] has been dedicated to fighting global warming for our nation and the world.” Word, Bill people. On the other hand, the release doesn’t mention that Gov. Richardson has been nominated four times for the same award, and each time he has very characteristically lost. Check out one of Richardson’s ads in the above video for further proof of presumed bitterness.
Don’t get too jealous, Bill! Al Gore lost the presidency once, and you’re still, you know… involved with that.
It is Hell-o-ween come early, children. Gather ’round, for Dame 
Now New York Times 
War-loving Bill Kristol — in his 
Some of the most ominous words you can read on the entire Washington Internet are, “Quick takes by The Post’s opinion writers.” The Washington Post has an entire blog for this sort of thing. 
So! Obama 
U.S. President George W. Bush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for “fighting terrorism and promoting world peace,” according to a 