Tag Archives: nobama

  total recall

Good Luck On Recall Of Lady Mayor Calling Your Kids ‘Queer,’ Troy, Michigan!

Michigan’s most unintentionally comedic mayor since Kwame Kilpatrick was fellated while he was simultaneously texting and eating pork lips/entrails at “Benz Chili Bowl” is cold getting recalled. We speak of Janice Daniels, the most holy and exalted mayor of Troy, MI, one of those blandly pleasant/affluent suburbs that’s pretty much indistinguishable from every other blandly pleasant/affluent suburb. Oh, look, Old Navy! And P.F. Changs! Daniels once famously Facebooked that she was done with her “I <3 New York” tote bag because all those “queers” (her word) getting married in New York ruined her traditional values. Then, as an apology for queergate, Daniels told a local high school gay-straight alliance that she would like to invite a “panel of psychologists” to an anti-bullying workshop so they could explain how the homosexual lifestyle is dangerous. Mainly, the homosexual lifestyle is dangerous because idiots with Janice Daniels’ worldview will beat you within an inch of your queer (her word) life for being so queer (her word). Read more on Good Luck On Recall Of Lady Mayor Calling Your Kids ‘Queer,’ Troy, Michigan!…
  folk art

Roadside Redneck Scrabble Mostly Limited To Letters O, B, A, M, A

It’s time to play Heartland Americuh’s greatest new game, and you sure don’t need some faggoty-ass iPad or ‘puter or ‘lectricity or no such thing. To play Roadside Wingnut Scrabble, you just need that U-Haul truck your common-law brother-in-law forgot to return. It’s still sitting on the property somewhere, probably by the road? You’re on your way to a Triple-Dingbat Score! Read more on Roadside Redneck Scrabble Mostly Limited To Letters O, B, A, M, A…
  four more years

Obama Raises Money In San Francisco As Cops Gas Oakland Protesters

Here’s what Barack Obama did Tuesday: An interview with teevee clown Jay Leno, followed by a flight to San Francisco to raise money from gazillionaire venture capitalists. Here’s what the riot cops from 10 Bay Area police departments did on Tuesday night, just across the bay in Oakland: Fire “rubber bullets” on protesters demanding economic reforms, shoot “chemical agents” and “concussion grenades” at protesters demanding economic reforms, injure protesters reportedly including an Iraq veteran and somebody in a wheelchair and a child, and fire some bizarre “sonic cannon” developed by the Pentagon to torture foreign Arabs somewhere. Read more on Obama Raises Money In San Francisco As Cops Gas Oakland Protesters…
  a modest proposal

Wise CEO Suggests Heavier Taxes On Poor People To Help Weary Rich People

Taxes on the rich would be very, very bad. All Americans learned this from our first constitutional president, Ronald Reagan, which is why his illegitimate son — the Keynesian Kenyan economist Barack Obama — keeps prattling on about the need for the top 1% to pay their “fair share.”  But as common-folk hero Eric Cantor can tell you, taxes on the rich are literally the murderers of innocent, mostly nonexistent jobs. With much of the remaining U.S. service sector now devoted to carrying sacks of Rolex watches and diamond-studded vibrators to Charles Koch’s chauffeured Bentley or sponge-bathing David Koch’s liver spots with whale oil, the redistribution of wealth from “people in general” to a handful of gazillionaires has put more pressure on the rich to keep being insanely rich. Who will make the nation’s poor finally take their medicine, for America? Read more on Wise CEO Suggests Heavier Taxes On Poor People To Help Weary Rich People…
  the ocean floor is socialist

Deathers Will Search Arabian Sea For Osama Body, To Prove It Is Not There

Ocean treasure hunter Bill Warren does not trust sketchy terrorist lover Nobama to admit on his own that Osama bin Laden is not dead, so Warren will go visit the North Arabian Sea to search for Osama’s body, to prove once and for all it does not exist. Warren will even take a documentary crew with him, to help declare the ocean Osama-free with hours of footage of nothing. The North Arabian Sea floor is your new Hawaii Department of Health: RELEASE THE CERTIFICATE BODY. Why is the ocean protecting Obama? Read more on Deathers Will Search Arabian Sea For Osama Body, To Prove It Is Not There…
  and ladies we bet he's single!

Arizona Guy Finally Has Enough Bumper Stickers For Freedom

This proud American is going to play “Cowboys & Muslims” by … let’s see, what did Cowboys do to their enemies, in the movies? (Because in real life, as we all know, cowboys just fuck cows and cry for mama.) We are pretty sure pretend cowboys lynched their enemies, the Native Americans or Mexicans or escaped black slaves. So, what’s your message, person in a very expensive Saudi-crude-guzzling pickup manufactured by Obama’s government car company? Read more on Arizona Guy Finally Has Enough Bumper Stickers For Freedom…
  so you people just hold your breath!

OBAMAR WILL TAX WHITE PEOPLE SNEEZING

Production values far exceed the Demon Sheep Level of recent Republican efforts, so we will give this commercial an “A” for effort. Nobama will tax the oxygen you breathe, and the wheelchairs you use to get around the Hometown Buffet. To make President Obama listen to your concerns, just go to … GOP.com? [Rumproast] Read more on OBAMAR WILL TAX WHITE PEOPLE SNEEZING…
  is this tomorrow

Liveblogging Obama’s Secret Sleazy Deal With Communist Russia

Barack Obama and the Russian Bear have cut a secret deal to “reduce nuclear weapons,” which means you better get used to your kids bringing home the “Little Red Book” and worshiping the atheist Satan. Let’s liveblog Nobama’s suspicious plan to take our freedoms and send America down the road to Tyranny by “significantly reducing nuclear missiles and launchers.” Read more on Liveblogging Obama’s Secret Sleazy Deal With Communist Russia…
  gay threesomes

What Gay Porno Are They Watching On Air Force One?

Alert UK journalist “Richard” sent us this Reuters pic, wondering what kind of movie Willie Mays and Robert Gibbs and the sleazy White House press pool enjoyed last night on the flight over to the MLB All-Star game. What do you people think? Read more on What Gay Porno Are They Watching On Air Force One?…
  america's second lady

Jill Biden Escapes Hospital Imprisonment!

Man, we just aren’t being very good Political Gossips today, because our reaction to the email subject line “Breaking News! Jill Biden Out of Hospital” was pretty much, Jill Biden was in the hospital? But sure enough, earlier today we had a post about Jill Biden getting her shoulder replaced after Nobama shot her in the kneecaps, for wearing yellow shoes near Army men. And now we’ve got a very exciting semi-eyewitness report about her current health status! Read more on Jill Biden Escapes Hospital Imprisonment!…
  this is how revolutions start

Texas Town Turns Down Socialist Blood Money But Then Takes It A Day Later

The city of Mansfield, Texas took a bold stand against the socialist Kenyan martyr Barack Obama and his free-spending ways on Monday, opting not to take $38,000 in FREE FEDERAL GRANT MONEY that they had applied for. They were going to send Washington a message: a message that said, “Yes, we requested federal assistance to improve our police force, but now we do not want it because … socialism?” Read more on Texas Town Turns Down Socialist Blood Money But Then Takes It A Day Later…
  the future

NOBAMA, EVER: Did you know the (fake) Mumbai terror attacks will soon lead to a nuclear war and then Bush declares Martial Law and Obama can’t become president and then a rogue planet will come to kill us all? So sayeth the Internets. [Boing Boing] Read more on …
  why the democratic convention will be awesome

PUMAPac FOUNDER HARRASSED BY DEAD BUNNIES: Darragh Murphy, one of Hillary Clinton’s most passionate advocates and the founder of a political action committee devoted to getting her elected or something, “said Obama supporters have harassed her and her followers by banging on their windows with pots and pans in the middle of the night, making phone threats and leaving dead rabbits on their doorsteps.” Yoiks. [New York Observer] Read more on …
  vent your angry

Help Hillary Dude Make Nobama Radio Commercials!

Ed Hale, creator of the World’s Greatest Website for pretend Hillary Clinton fanatics who WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE COLORED, has a favor to ask. Would you mind making Internet-radio commercials for his make-believe Internet Radio show against the Nobamas? You know, if you “think you have what it takes to be a radio star”? It is going to be a whole radio network — “The NO Obama Talk Show Network. A place where you can vent your angry against Obama.” Let’s vent our angry together. Read more on Help Hillary Dude Make Nobama Radio Commercials!…
  hilltards

Wonkette A Part Of ‘Nobama Network,’ Hooray!

While the hub for Internet-Americans that hate Barack Obama is clearly Ed Hale’s hcsfjm.com, its closest rival appears to be the “Nobama Network,” which describes itself as “a portal site designed to bring together the Grass Roots Movements in America spawned by outrage over the actions of the DNC disenfranchising voters, reassigning delegates, selecting their illegitimate Nominee and diminishing the most basic factor that makes America great, our right to vote and be heard!” Among the sites on this “portal” are the 40-50 worst sites on the entire Internet. Including your Wonkette! Read more on Wonkette A Part Of ‘Nobama Network,’ Hooray!…