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Fox News Does Its Part In War On Science, Demands ‘Recount’ Of Weather Temperatures
Oh good, Fox News, critical thinkers that they are, are DETERMINED to bring you the truth about so-called “climate change,” which may or may not be real given that “some people” continue to point out that it is just a “theory.” As we all know, if “some people” believe something, it is worthy of including [...]
How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?
Exactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days, toiling away in the world’s most deliberative lawmaking body, making decisions that will probably imperil the very survival of the human race? And of these stupid, stupid people, how many are willing to talk to reporters and make good and sure that [...]
Fat Cat Gov’t Scientists Suggest It’s Really Hot Outside All The Time
Washington, DC is back down to 85 degrees again today — after two weeks of terrifyingly scorching volcano hell heat worse than anything that even the space between Chris Christie’s thighs have ever encountered, of course. But still: It’s 85 now. Al Gore is back to being fat and gay again, by all reasonable estimates. [...]
House Republicans Were Just Trying To Cut Tsunami Monitoring, of Course
As tsunami waves from the Japan earthquake begin to hit Hawaii and are on their way to our West Coast, the federal government has been closely monitoring the situation at the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center and is issuing advisories to those affected as necessary. Luckily, they aren’t anticipating major damage. The United States is able [...]
Oil Explosion To Destroy Earth Before Global Warming Has A Chance
So you’ve probably been thinking throughout this whole gulf-destroying oil spill business: Isn’t there, like, some kind of meddling bureaucratic government agency that’s supposed to make whiny liberal complaints about potential environmental apocalypse when someone asks to set up an offshore drilling rig? Turns out that, whoops, there is, and they have been, but the [...]
Federal Government Announces End of the World In 2012
They Call the Wind …
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