With more than 150,000 people losing their jobs every week in the United States and millions more being laid off around the world, the scams are getting ridiculous. Take this message from “hr@coca-cola.com,” which we just received: Coca-Cola is hiring all over the world, full-time positions, great pay and benefits, etc. Just fill out the attached form with all your personal information! MORE »

Look, we think Joe Biden is kind of funny, too. But, uh, come the fuck on, AP and CNN and everybody, do you really want this? Biden, he is smart, he knows some things, he would be great on a New Yorker podcast or whatever, but …. Eh, time for bed, finally. When Obama rings in the morning, at 4 a.m., with bad news, we are just going to treat it like any other TXT from some money-wanting no-can-having drunk. Meanwhile, we think of Bill Richardson, we even think of Old Jack Reed the father we never found, we think of Neal Cassady. [CNN/Valleywag/NYT]

Good news, Obamatards with tickets to Barack Obama & the Decemberists’ big concert at Mile High Stadium: You are encouraged to go through 10 miles of security lines and enter the INVESCO outdoor FEMA detainment camp at 1 p.m., a half day before Obama will speak. Also, you can’t bring booze. Also, there will be no booze for sale. Hope sucks. Read the whole terrifying list of fun weapons and drugs and animals you CANNOT bring to the greatest football game on Earth, after the jump. MORE »