Give This Man Twenty Nobel Prizes, For Heroism
Monday, October 12th, 2009
Connecticut’s gearing up for the most important election ever in 2012! “VERNON - A man dressed as a ninja waving nunchucks on a street corner this morning was arrested and charged with breach of peace, police said. Police said they received numerous emergency calls about the man, who was standing on the corner of Route 83 and Regan Road at about 11 a.m. Police said Garland Eastman, 30, of 335 Center Road, was yelling about wanting to beat up U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman, among other diatribes, but he became polite and cooperative after officers started pulling out their bean bags and taser guns.” Eastman/Santelli ‘12. Remember that time Barack Obama beat the shit out of Joe Lieberman on the Senate floor? That was great. [Hartford Courtant via Gothamist]
Before the dawn of the Internet, people used to waste time the old-fashioned way: by playing solitaire on their shitty Windows 3.1 machines. Then Doom and Quake and The Sims and Spore came along, and time-wasting evolved into a very sophisticated and complicated activity that required thousands of dollars of expensive electronics to perform correctly. Thanks to the dude who threw a shoe at George W. Bush, the Internet has seen a flowering of incredibly simple and mindless games that would have been amazing and cutting-edge in 1996. 
In a power play that dramatically alters the Republican presidential playing field, actor/ninja Chuck Norris, most famous for his role as a karate mentor in the delightful 