Tag Archives: nikki haley

  So leadership many bold

Jeb! Bush So Proud He Quietly Hid Confederate Flag, Stuck It To PC Police

Take your time, buddy
On a scale of one to potato, exactly how stupid is Jeb Bush? All, yes, eleven, and yams. After ever so timidly suggesting South Carolina might perhaps consider removing the Confederate flag from its state capitol grounds, the way Bush did when he was governor of Florida — quietly removing it over the weekend while no one was looking — Bush is now very proud, and would like ALL THE COOKIES, for standing up to the PC police: Read more on Jeb! Bush So Proud He Quietly Hid Confederate Flag, Stuck It To PC Police…
  Not so brave after all

Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now

Leadership fail
While people are so busy clap-clapping for South Carolina’s Republican governor, who finally and quite reluctantly called for the removal of the Confederate flag from the state capitol, they might want to take a brief intermission to note just how reluctant Nikki Haley is to see the flag removed: Read more on Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now…
  She can't even get 113 percent!

New Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Already President

Up to no good, maybe or maybe not
Try not to get too happy in your privates, but there’s a shiny new poll that shows Hillary Clinton is the winningest presidential candidate right now, by all the points: Basically, all the Democrats are like, “Yeah, we are cool with Hillz,” despite OOOOH SCARY headlines recently that she should be shaking in her pantsuit because Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders (buy your Bernie T-shirts today!) is getting some thumbs ups and big crowds at campaign events. Of course he is, because he says all the good words that make progressives go all swoony, which is why we also too love him. But and however, Clinton has been saying good words as well, which might be part of why 75 percent of Democrats are #ReadyForHillary. That, in case you did not know, is a big number. It’s bigger than the 15 percent who say Bernie is their guy, and it’s a whole lot bigger than the less than 1 percent of people who know who the hell Lincoln Chafee is. Read more on New Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Already President…
  man fuck this guy

Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?

STFU, Huckabee.
When Mike Huckabee was first asked whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, he said Americans don’t “want [presidential candidates] to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people of that state but not on the desk of the president,” because clearly the president of America is not president of the individual states that make up America. He also said you can’t assume, based on the actions of one lunatic, and also the state’s official endorsement of the Confederate flag, that the state is racist. The “lone wolf racist” has nothing to do with the lone racist flag, apparently. Read more on Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?…
  Drink Too Much And Laugh Too Loud

Confederate Flag Suddenly More Hated Than Donald Trump, Pubic Lice

Don't know our ass from a hole in the ground
So how about that Confederate flag? Now that it has a negative association for the first time ever, seems like everybody has decided to jump off the Confederate bandwagon, except of course for the diehard morons, of whom there are quite a few. Within hours of Gov. Nikki Haley’s call to remove the Confederate flag from the South Carolina Statehouse, a whole bunch of other Republicans suddenly realized they had permission to get rid of the goddamned thing, too. Mitt Romney actually did something good in his life! The next domino fell Monday night, when Mississippi’s Speaker of the House of Representatives, Philip Gunn, said it was time to remove the Confederate flag emblem from the state’s flag, too. Read more on Confederate Flag Suddenly More Hated Than Donald Trump, Pubic Lice…
  We Talk Real Funny Down Here

Walmart Wonders Where It Got All This Confederate Flag Merch

You can tell from the pixels
Suddenly the Confederate flag has become a bad thing, maybe, or at least a “controversial” one. Just one week ago, it was all about “Heritage Not Hate,” but as of Monday afternoon, it’s officially Problematic, because somebody just discovered that — are you sitting down? — some people have adopted it to promote hatred. Astonishing! South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley learned that it was seen that way, and called for the flag to be removed from the state capitol, even though it was just fine last fall. And now, America’s greatest arbiter of taste, Walmart, has announced that it is shocked, shocked! to learn it has been selling items with the Confederate flag on them, and by golly, it’s going to stop selling them. Read more on Walmart Wonders Where It Got All This Confederate Flag Merch…
  You go first

Republicans Decide Time Has Come To Take Sorta Brave Stand Against Confederate Flag

Maybe it's problematic after all
Seems like only yesterday, Republicans were afraid to follow in the footsteps of Mitt Romney and tell South Carolina to take down its Confederate flag. Who’s to say the flag is hate, not heritage? (Everyone.) And now isn’t the right time for that discussion anyway. (Yes it is.) And South Carolina doesn’t need the rest of the country, especially not presidential candidates, telling it what to do. (Clearly, it does.) And, as South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham has said, the state’s compromise — to fly the flag and have a memorial for African Americans — works JUST FINE. (Uh huh.) Read more on Republicans Decide Time Has Come To Take Sorta Brave Stand Against Confederate Flag…
  Lost Cause Loses Again

Supreme Court: Texas Doesn’t Have To Put Your Loser Confederate Flag On License Plates

Stupid goddamn stupid fuckers (alt-txt is better with beer)
The Supreme Court ruled Thursday that the state of Texas doesn’t have to make “Sons of Confederate Veterans” license plates available if it don’t wanna. The state didn’t wanna, the Sons Of Treason thought that was violating their free speech, and the Supremes said, no, dear, a license plate is the government’s speech, not yours, and the state has discretion over which groups may receive special tags. We at Wonkette would just like to thank the U.S. Supreme Court for this one, seeing as how the government of Texas really does need positive reinforcement on those rare occasions when it does something right. Perhaps we could give the state a tasty treat to further encourage the desired behavior. Read more on Supreme Court: Texas Doesn’t Have To Put Your Loser Confederate Flag On License Plates…
  Maybe it's a post-racial hate crime

Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown

Confederate flag plates just a coincidence
Perhaps now we can stop looking for some way to explain how a young white man murdering nine people in a black church — after telling his victims he was there to kill black people and “you have to go” — was not really about race: Read more on Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown…
  A Mighty Fortress Needs More Guns

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

This would fix everything
That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody in the church was packing heat like they should have been. Read more on Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston…
  a feature not a bug

If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!

That bridge sucked anyway.
You may be familiar with the state of Kansas, where Governor Sam Brownback and the ruling GOP have conducted what Brownback has called a “great experiment” in conservative economics. They’ve radically slashed income taxes, especially for top earners, on the theory that liberating this money will supercharge the economy; businesses will flock in, new jobs will be created, and an orgy of private sector commerce will fill the budget hole caused by the tax cuts. Read more on If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!…
  news of the weird

South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously.

Us, right now.
Hey there South Carolina, birthplace of the Late Unpleasantness, state that gave Newt Gingrich his sole primary victory in 2012, and home base of this asshole. What crazy shenanigans are you up to now? Oh, just trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal for domestic abusers to own guns. Ha ha, you impetuous hicks, you—wait, what? That sounds like a sane and reasonable idea. What in the hell? Read more on South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously….
  South Carolina’s a hell of a drug

Gov. Nikki Haley Wants To Arm All The Lady-Beaters, For The Constitution

Leadership fail
Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina runs a hell of a state. It’s the kind of state where Stand Your Ground laws don’t apply to victims of domestic violence — because that would be ridiculous! — and it’s still A-OK to let your Confederate freak flag fly because the out-of-state CEOs Haley talks to don’t have a problem with it. Also, she ended racism by getting elected, YOU’RE WELCOME. Read more on Gov. Nikki Haley Wants To Arm All The Lady-Beaters, For The Constitution…
  confederate flag? hey look over there!

If The Confederate Flag Is OK With Yankee Businessmen, It’s OK With Nikki Haley

What if we put Kermit on the flag? Everyone loves Kermit.
Sweet Siddhartha of Myrtle Beach, did someone crack open the skull of Gov. Nikki Haley (R-Of Course) of South Carolina, scoop out her brain, and replace it with a lump of guacamole? Sure, she governs a state populated by rancid goobers who have an unholy attachment to the Confederate flag, and she wants to keep them happy without reminding them they are celebrating a long-dead nation that got stomped like an anthill in the path of a marauding band of five-year-old Ritalin junkies. Still, if the question is “Should the state of South Carolina continue flying this flag on the lawn of its statehouse?” surely Gov. Haley can come up with a better answer than “Eh, CEOs of out-of-state businesses don’t seem to mind it.” Read more on If The Confederate Flag Is OK With Yankee Businessmen, It’s OK With Nikki Haley…
  look for the union libel

South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley Will Have None Of Your Dirty American Automakers Or Their Filthy Filthy Unions

Governor Nikki Haley just wants to assure the people of South Carolina that they will never have to worry about high wages or job security, because those communist notions have no place in the Palmetto Bug State. After attending an automotive conference in Greenville, she told the Greenville News that she discourages companies from opening factories in South Carolina if they have any plans to allow unions, because she does not want any organized labor cooties getting on the state: “It’s not something we want to see happen … We discourage any companies that have unions from wanting to come to South Carolina because we don’t want to take the water.” Funny thing she should use that expression, seeing as how loosely regulated industrial facilities in neighboring North Carolina have been slopping toxic coal ash sludge into the rivers. But environmental ruin is just one of the beautiful side effects of being a state that’s “open for business”; you can also tout low wages, crappy benefits, and fire-at-will policies, all of which make South Carolina such a paradise for jobs. Read more on South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley Will Have None Of Your Dirty American Automakers Or Their Filthy Filthy Unions…
  oh nikki!

Nikki Haley Locks Self Out Of Governor’s Mansion In Robe Like Classic Sitcom Housewife

South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley posted this important communication to her Facebook page Wednesday: What not to do…getting locked out of the Governor’s mansion in your robe while sending the kids off to school. sigh…#adayinthelife Later in the day, Gov. Haley reportedly became flustered by the increasingly frantic pace of chocolates on an assembly line. Hijinks ensued. Read more on Nikki Haley Locks Self Out Of Governor’s Mansion In Robe Like Classic Sitcom Housewife…
  Now We've Seen Everything

Anti-Immigrant Immigrant Forced To Resign From Daughter Of Immigrants Nikki Haley’s Re-Election Campaign

Here is yr Wonkette’s attempt to condense all the wtf of this story into a single, grammatical sentence: Roan Garcia-Quintana, a Cuban immigrant and prominent member of the white supremacist, anti-immigrant group Council of Conservative Citizens, was asked to resign from non-white spawn of immigrants Gov. Nikki Haley’s re-election committee almost a full week after Garcia-Quintana’s white supremacist ties were made public and, presumably, someone in Nikki Haley’s campaign was able to find five seconds to google “council of conservative citizens” and read the little blurb that appears under their name in the results, which is: “Advocating against minorities and racial integration.” Phew! Read more on Anti-Immigrant Immigrant Forced To Resign From Daughter Of Immigrants Nikki Haley’s Re-Election Campaign…
  go back to narnia

South Carolina Dem Chair Has Totally Believable Lie About Dumb Thing He Said About Nikki Haley

Oh Southern Dems. First you shoot your own fool faces off by being SUPER FUCKING RACIST about Mitch McConnell’s Taiwan-born wife, Elaine Chao, who’s enough of an asshole that you DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO BRING HER ASIANNESS INTO IT. Well, now the chair of the South Carolina Democratic Party has said an idiot SUPER FUCKING RACIST thing about Governor Nikki Haley. At the Jefferson/Jackson Dinner. Because if you are going to say shitty SUPER FUCKING RACIST things, it should definitely be at the dinner named for the dude who impregnated his slave and the other dude who killed all the Indians, and then, when Supreme Court Chief Justice* John Marshall told him to stop killing all the Indians, invented the awesome catchphrase “YOU AND WHAT ARMY.” Anyway, now he is lying about it. Read more on South Carolina Dem Chair Has Totally Believable Lie About Dumb Thing He Said About Nikki Haley…
  movin' on up

In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative

Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC), who is the Other Black House Republican Besides Allen West, is your newest Senator from South Carolina, after Jim Demint left to grift money at the Heritage Foundation!  YAY!!! Many people think that Tim Scott is somehow better because he is more moderate than Allen West, which is sort of like a fried Snickers bar being healthier than a fried Twinkie because it is covered in slightly less batter.  Also because, much like a Twinkie, Allen West was defeated and therefore no longer really exists. As it turns out, Tim Scott is fucking crazy, but he has that sexy Michael Jordan head rather than Allen West’s weird graying Kendall Gill flattop, so all is forgiven. Read more on In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative…
  I said good day sir...good day!

Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate

South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint (R-R’lyeh) announced that he will resign his U.S. Senate seat in January to become president of the Heritage Foundation. Sen. DeMint, just two years into his second term, will be trading “public service” (i.e., shaping policy to funnel government resources to contributors) for a “position in the private sector” (i.e., lobbying to get policy shaped to funnel government resources to contributors). “I’m leaving the Senate now, but I’m not leaving the fight. I’ve decided to join The Heritage Foundation at a time when the conservative movement needs strong leadership in the battle of ideas,” DeMint said in a statement. Liberal bloggers nationwide groaned at the “battle of ideas” metaphor, knowing that they would thereby be forced to invoke the “unarmed opponent” cliché. Curse you, Jim DeMint! Read more on Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate…
  rape rape

Next Vice President Nikki Haley Axes Half Mil From Rape Crisis Centers Because They ‘Distract’ From Public Health

First the sluts tried not to die from cervical cancer, but South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley had a national reputation to tend to, so she vetoed voluntary HPV inoculations for teen girls. But what have the sluts done this time? Well, they went and got themselves raped. According to the governor, state funding for rape victims “attempts to serve a portion of our population for which we extend our sympathy and encouragement, but nevertheless, it is only a small portion of South Carolina’s chronically ill or abused.” Haley said the $453,000 designated for the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault’s rape crisis centers “distract[s] from the agency’s broader mission of protecting South Carolina’s public health.” Now those are some conservative credentials! We salute you, Governor Haley — or should we say “Future Vice President Haley,” amirite??? Read more on Next Vice President Nikki Haley Axes Half Mil From Rape Crisis Centers Because They ‘Distract’ From Public Health…
  won't somebody think of the children?

SC Gov Nikki Haley Changes Mind, Loves Girls Getting Cervical Cancer Now

South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley used to be one of those terrible sluts who wanted to ram her HPV vaccine down your preteen’s throat. We know this because she cosponsored a bill in the South Carolina legislature that would have mandated HPV vaccinations for preteen girls, thus taking their innocence and instantly turning them all into streetwalking hookers (with syphilis). But now? The good governor has evolved into a woman with higher national sights, as she has just vetoed a bill for an optional HPV vaccine on some fictional grounds of “Obamacare” or something. (She actually called it “a precursor to another taxpayer-funded health care mandate” or whatever, it doesn’t matter, since she plumb made it up.) Read more on SC Gov Nikki Haley Changes Mind, Loves Girls Getting Cervical Cancer Now…