nikki haley
South Carolina Dem Chair Has Totally Believable Lie About Dumb Thing He Said About Nikki Haley
Oh Southern Dems. First you shoot your own fool faces off by being SUPER FUCKING RACIST about Mitch McConnell’s Taiwan-born wife, Elaine Chao, who’s enough of an asshole that you DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO BRING HER ASIANNESS INTO IT. Well, now the chair of the South Carolina Democratic Party has said an idiot SUPER FUCKING [...]
In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative
Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC), who is the Other Black House Republican Besides Allen West, is your newest Senator from South Carolina, after Jim Demint left to grift money at the Heritage Foundation! YAY!!! Many people think that Tim Scott is somehow better because he is more moderate than Allen West, which is sort of like a fried [...]
Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate
South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint (R-R’lyeh) announced that he will resign his U.S. Senate seat in January to become president of the Heritage Foundation. Sen. DeMint, just two years into his second term, will be trading “public service” (i.e., shaping policy to funnel government resources to contributors) for a “position in the private sector” (i.e., [...]
Next Vice President Nikki Haley Axes Half Mil From Rape Crisis Centers Because They ‘Distract’ From Public Health
First the sluts tried not to die from cervical cancer, but South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley had a national reputation to tend to, so she vetoed voluntary HPV inoculations for teen girls. But what have the sluts done this time? Well, they went and got themselves raped. According to the governor, state funding for rape [...]
SC Gov Nikki Haley Changes Mind, Loves Girls Getting Cervical Cancer Now
South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley used to be one of those terrible sluts who wanted to ram her HPV vaccine down your preteen’s throat. We know this because she cosponsored a bill in the South Carolina legislature that would have mandated HPV vaccinations for preteen girls, thus taking their innocence and instantly turning them all [...]
Nikki Haley Has Best-Ever Legal Defense Strategy Against Ethics Probe
South Carolina’s dingbat governor Nikki Haley, famous chiefly for being the only human ever rumored to make hot forbidden love with a political blogger, has lately been in trouble for allegedly making hot forbidden legislative favors for her health company employer while she was still a state representative and doing “secret consulting work,” which sounds [...]
Allen West: Tanning Tax Is ‘Racist,’ John Wayne Is ‘Watching Our Back’
Sarah Palin and Nikki Haley’s calculated pick for vice president, Florida Rep. Allen West, currently has the fun task of trying to woo Florida Democrats thanks to redistricting laws that are magically moving his cheese around! So over the weekend West spoke at a 1,200-capacity venue in the usually Democratic-leaning Century Village area of Palm [...]
Zombie Voters Latest Scourge to Terrorize SC GOP’s Imagination
We all know that Democrats are forever trying to let poor and minority people be allowed to vote, which, you know, huge SCANDAL already right there, but have you heard about the latest Republican voter “fraud” outrage du jour? ZOMBIES, VOTING! (Vampires: so last year.) South Carolina’s DMV director Kevin Shwedo, a Nikki “what massive [...]
Nikki Haley Tries to Empower Women While Endorsing Woman-Phobic Freak
South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, (former) Tea Party fave, is trying her best to distract us from the sad and dull obviousness of her 2012 endorsement of Mitt Romney with a new Marie Claire interview just ahead of the release of her book, Can’t Is Not An Option (which really looked like Cain Is Not [...]
Nikki Haley Will Fix Stuff Right After Finishing These Fake Report Cards
South Carolina governor Nikki Haley — last seen demanding full cooperation from her miserable state employees’ souls with a demented Orwellian decree that they answer their office phones cheerfully or else — has very few actual ideas about how to improve the nosebleed-inducing altitude of the state’s unemployment rate, so she’s trying some role-play with [...]
Nikki Haley Fixes South Carolina’s Bad Vibes With Stupid Phone Greetings
South Carolina teabagger governor Nikki Haley has decided to remedy South Carolina’s myriad ways of sucking for people who live in South Carolina — it currently has the country’s fourth-highest unemployment rate and sports saturated Medicaid rolls (meaning everyone is poor) — like a champion middle manager with a mean collection of self-help books who [...]
Nikki Haley First Non-White Governor of South Carolina to Also Be White
Here is what most people know about Indian American governor Nikki Haley: she is the only human on Earth rumored to ever have sex with a political blogger, and she is the only minority female human on Earth ever to be the unfortunate ruler of South Carolina. What is a lesser-known fact about Haley is [...]
S.C. Teabaggers Love Trump & Neighbor Who Gets News Off the ‘Puter
Well, Donald Trump is doing very nicely with the South Carolina Republican grass roots. It’s great that some gazillionaire like Donald Trump can bamboozle a bunch of poor old white people just by saying Obamar is an African Muslim.
Guy Who Says He Had Sex With Nikki Haley Writes Book, Releases Excerpt
Nikki Haley is now governor of South Carolina, despite being brown and despite allegations that she posted her genitals on some South Carolina blogger guy’s genital site. That guy, Will Folks, will be releasing a book about doing sex things with Haley at some point, but for now, he’s posted an excerpt. (“Sexcerpt”? Is that [...]
Nikki Haley Can Never Get Around To Doing Her Taxes
South Carolina gubernatorial nominee Nikki Haley is best known for being a Republican MINORITY and being accused of having sex with people. But also: “Haley, a fiscal conservative and tea party favorite, cites her experience as an accountant on the campaign trail.” So it is funny that she never does her taxes on time. She [...]
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