Tag Archives: nikki haley

  This Was A Real Nice Klanbake

KKK And Black People Celebrate Post-Racial Harmony, With Their Fists

Ghostbusters? Now there's some heritage we can respect
As promised, on Saturday, the Loyal White Knights Who Say “Ni” of the Ku Klux Klan traveled from North Carolina to Columbia, South Carolina, to hold their Great Big Sadfest over the removal of the Confederate flag from the Statehouse grounds. As it happened — one of those little coinicidences, we guess — the 50 or so Klansmen, who showed up without their robes were at the Capitol near the end of a nearby “Countering the Attack on Black Unity Rally” that had started before the Klan’s little hatefest. The Black Unity rally was organized by “Black Lawyers for Justice and Black Educators for Justice, a Florida organization with links to the New Black Panther Party,” according to MSNBC, and while the two groups were separated by barriers, they were still within megaphone distance of each other. Some of the counter-protesters managed to grab a Klansman’s precious Confederate flag and rip it to pieces, and although at least one fistfight broke out, there were no serious injuries. Read more on KKK And Black People Celebrate Post-Racial Harmony, With Their Fists…
  Scar Strangled Banner

South Carolina Removes Confederate Treason Flag That U.S. House Republicans Can’t Quit

Time to put that sucker out
It took 13 hours of debate and disposing of a boatload of dumb amendments designed to slow down the process, but the South Carolina House of Representatives finally voted — at 1 AM Eastern Thursday — to remove the Confederate flag from the statehouse grounds. And for all the angry talk about slaps in the face of the honored Confederate dead, the vote wasn’t even close: 94-20, well more than the 2/3 majority necessary under the state’s stupid flag law. The bill is headed to Gov. Nikki Haley, who has said she would sign it, and the flag should be removed by the weekend, even despite the very real risk that the Devil will take over our great land because of gay marriage. Read more on South Carolina Removes Confederate Treason Flag That U.S. House Republicans Can’t Quit…
  All the tears

South Carolina Senator Cries Hilarious Man-Sobs For Confederate Flag Bested By Gayness

It was thiiiiis big!
The South Carolina Senate voted Tuesday to remove the Confederate Flag from the state Capitol grounds, sending the bill to the state House, and hopefully, eventually, to Gov. Nikki Haley’s desk. This is very bothersome for state Sen. Lee Bright (R-No Shit), who just doesn’t see why we’re spending all this time talking about the Confederate Flag, not when the FLAG OF GAY HOMOSEXUAL ABOMINATION is currently flying over the ENTIRETY OF AMERICA. Bright, who is Ted Cruz’s campaign co-chair for South Carolina (obviously), melted all the way down into a pile of shouty Southern fire and brimstone wingnut tears as he explained on the state Senate floor just how much God hates America now: Read more on South Carolina Senator Cries Hilarious Man-Sobs For Confederate Flag Bested By Gayness…
  So leadership many bold

Jeb! Bush So Proud He Quietly Hid Confederate Flag, Stuck It To PC Police

Is me the president I have been waiting for?
On a scale of one to potato, exactly how stupid is Jeb Bush? All, yes, eleven, and yams. After ever so timidly suggesting South Carolina might perhaps consider removing the Confederate flag from its state capitol grounds, the way Bush did when he was governor of Florida — quietly removing it over the weekend while no one was looking — Bush is now very proud, and would like ALL THE COOKIES, for standing up to the PC police: Read more on Jeb! Bush So Proud He Quietly Hid Confederate Flag, Stuck It To PC Police…
  Not so brave after all

Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now

Leadership fail
While people are so busy clap-clapping for South Carolina’s Republican governor, who finally and quite reluctantly called for the removal of the Confederate flag from the state capitol, they might want to take a brief intermission to note just how reluctant Nikki Haley is to see the flag removed: Read more on Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now…
  She can't even get 113 percent!

New Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Already President

Up to no good, maybe or maybe not
Try not to get too happy in your privates, but there’s a shiny new poll that shows Hillary Clinton is the winningest presidential candidate right now, by all the points: Basically, all the Democrats are like, “Yeah, we are cool with Hillz,” despite OOOOH SCARY headlines recently that she should be shaking in her pantsuit because Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders (buy your Bernie T-shirts today!) is getting some thumbs ups and big crowds at campaign events. Of course he is, because he says all the good words that make progressives go all swoony, which is why we also too love him. But and however, Clinton has been saying good words as well, which might be part of why 75 percent of Democrats are #ReadyForHillary. That, in case you did not know, is a big number. It’s bigger than the 15 percent who say Bernie is their guy, and it’s a whole lot bigger than the less than 1 percent of people who know who the hell Lincoln Chafee is. Read more on New Poll Finds Hillary Clinton Already President…
  man fuck this guy

Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?

STFU, Huckabee.
When Mike Huckabee was first asked whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, he said Americans don’t “want [presidential candidates] to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people of that state but not on the desk of the president,” because clearly the president of America is not president of the individual states that make up America. He also said you can’t assume, based on the actions of one lunatic, and also the state’s official endorsement of the Confederate flag, that the state is racist. The “lone wolf racist” has nothing to do with the lone racist flag, apparently. Read more on Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?…
  Drink Too Much And Laugh Too Loud

Confederate Flag Suddenly More Hated Than Donald Trump, Pubic Lice

Don't know our ass from a hole in the ground
So how about that Confederate flag? Now that it has a negative association for the first time ever, seems like everybody has decided to jump off the Confederate bandwagon, except of course for the diehard morons, of whom there are quite a few. Within hours of Gov. Nikki Haley’s call to remove the Confederate flag from the South Carolina Statehouse, a whole bunch of other Republicans suddenly realized they had permission to get rid of the goddamned thing, too. Mitt Romney actually did something good in his life! The next domino fell Monday night, when Mississippi’s Speaker of the House of Representatives, Philip Gunn, said it was time to remove the Confederate flag emblem from the state’s flag, too. Read more on Confederate Flag Suddenly More Hated Than Donald Trump, Pubic Lice…
  We Talk Real Funny Down Here

Walmart Wonders Where It Got All This Confederate Flag Merch

You can tell from the pixels
Suddenly the Confederate flag has become a bad thing, maybe, or at least a “controversial” one. Just one week ago, it was all about “Heritage Not Hate,” but as of Monday afternoon, it’s officially Problematic, because somebody just discovered that — are you sitting down? — some people have adopted it to promote hatred. Astonishing! South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley learned that it was seen that way, and called for the flag to be removed from the state capitol, even though it was just fine last fall. And now, America’s greatest arbiter of taste, Walmart, has announced that it is shocked, shocked! to learn it has been selling items with the Confederate flag on them, and by golly, it’s going to stop selling them. Read more on Walmart Wonders Where It Got All This Confederate Flag Merch…
  You go first

Republicans Decide Time Has Come To Take Sorta Brave Stand Against Confederate Flag

(not one of the trucks in question, for you sticklers for accuracy)
Seems like only yesterday, Republicans were afraid to follow in the footsteps of Mitt Romney and tell South Carolina to take down its Confederate flag. Who’s to say the flag is hate, not heritage? (Everyone.) And now isn’t the right time for that discussion anyway. (Yes it is.) And South Carolina doesn’t need the rest of the country, especially not presidential candidates, telling it what to do. (Clearly, it does.) And, as South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham has said, the state’s compromise — to fly the flag and have a memorial for African Americans — works JUST FINE. (Uh huh.) Read more on Republicans Decide Time Has Come To Take Sorta Brave Stand Against Confederate Flag…
  Lost Cause Loses Again

Supreme Court: Texas Doesn’t Have To Put Your Loser Confederate Flag On License Plates

Stupid goddamn stupid fuckers (alt-txt is better with beer)
The Supreme Court ruled Thursday that the state of Texas doesn’t have to make “Sons of Confederate Veterans” license plates available if it don’t wanna. The state didn’t wanna, the Sons Of Treason thought that was violating their free speech, and the Supremes said, no, dear, a license plate is the government’s speech, not yours, and the state has discretion over which groups may receive special tags. We at Wonkette would just like to thank the U.S. Supreme Court for this one, seeing as how the government of Texas really does need positive reinforcement on those rare occasions when it does something right. Perhaps we could give the state a tasty treat to further encourage the desired behavior. Read more on Supreme Court: Texas Doesn’t Have To Put Your Loser Confederate Flag On License Plates…
  Maybe it's a post-racial hate crime

Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown

Confederate flag plates just a coincidence
Perhaps now we can stop looking for some way to explain how a young white man murdering nine people in a black church — after telling his victims he was there to kill black people and “you have to go” — was not really about race: Read more on Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown…
  A Mighty Fortress Needs More Guns

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

This would fix everything
That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody in the church was packing heat like they should have been. Read more on Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston…
  a feature not a bug

If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!

That bridge sucked anyway.
You may be familiar with the state of Kansas, where Governor Sam Brownback and the ruling GOP have conducted what Brownback has called a “great experiment” in conservative economics. They’ve radically slashed income taxes, especially for top earners, on the theory that liberating this money will supercharge the economy; businesses will flock in, new jobs will be created, and an orgy of private sector commerce will fill the budget hole caused by the tax cuts. Read more on If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!…
  news of the weird

South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously.

Us, right now.
Hey there South Carolina, birthplace of the Late Unpleasantness, state that gave Newt Gingrich his sole primary victory in 2012, and home base of this asshole. What crazy shenanigans are you up to now? Oh, just trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal for domestic abusers to own guns. Ha ha, you impetuous hicks, you—wait, what? That sounds like a sane and reasonable idea. What in the hell? Read more on South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously….
  South Carolina’s a hell of a drug

Gov. Nikki Haley Wants To Arm All The Lady-Beaters, For The Constitution

Leadership fail
Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina runs a hell of a state. It’s the kind of state where Stand Your Ground laws don’t apply to victims of domestic violence — because that would be ridiculous! — and it’s still A-OK to let your Confederate freak flag fly because the out-of-state CEOs Haley talks to don’t have a problem with it. Also, she ended racism by getting elected, YOU’RE WELCOME. Read more on Gov. Nikki Haley Wants To Arm All The Lady-Beaters, For The Constitution…