Wonkette

If Americans know one thing about the Foreigns (and sometimes that’s a near thing), it’s that they live in Foreign countries, which, obviously, are hellholes of awfulness and despair. Guess if they didn’t want to be crapped on day and night by a malevolent universe, they should have lived in America! This week, the Foreigns introduces you to some happenings overseas that we can safely laugh at only because they only happen to Foreign types, but otherwise they’d be pretty depressing. MORE »

Wedding bells may soon be ringing — what are wedding bells, anyway? — for Chelsea Clinton, but there will be no creepy dance with her new father-in-law, because he’s locked up in prison. MORE »

• Primary results “yielded no significant surprises”; Republican Brian Bilbray beats Democrat Francine Busby in race for Rep. Randy Cunningham’s seat. [WP, LAT]
• Cheney brokers deal to keep telephone company executives from testifying about NSA database. [USAT]
• Some Republican Senators think the recent focus on “ideologically charged topics” like gay marriage could backfire; voters have more pressing concerns. Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.): “I know in many meetings of our colleagues when the issue of marriage comes up, heads drop. It is just an issue that people just feel uncomfortable talking about. It’s something that maybe in some respects they feel like, why do we even have to? Why is this even an issue?” [NYT]
• Use of “taxpayer-funded databases” provides an advantage to incumbents who can “cultivate constituents more attentively than ever.” Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.): “As incumbents, we have unlimited access to the most up-to-date technology in the world.” [WP]
• FBI sought proof that Rep. William Jefferson may have tried to bribe the vice president of Nigeria. [NYT, LAT]
• Judiciary Panel members are riled by a Justice Department official’s refusal to say “whether the Bush administration has ever considered prosecuting journalists for publishing leaked national security information.” [WP]
• Tom DeLay says “panic, depression and woe-is-me-ism” risks losing the election for the GOP. [USAT, USAT]

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* The Post’s wingman article: a journalism abortion. [Why I Hate DC] MORE »

If ethics reform should rest upon greater disclosure and transparency, then let’s follow the “Nigerian soccer” approach: MORE »