Wonkette

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino might not be a liar after all! All those times when she says “I don’t know” and “We’re still gathering the facts” could be 100% accurate, because she actually doesn’t know jackshit about the world around her. Perino appeared on NPR’s jolly Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me program this weekend and stupidly told the world a story best kept private: She has no goddamn clue what the Cuban Missile Crisis was. MORE »

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was totally topsy-turvy in Condiland, but not really in a fun way. There was that NIE thingy which made a lot of people uptight, an absolutely awful trip to Africa, which experts tell us is the land of her ancestors, and then on to Brussels, where half the people wouldn’t shut up about Iran, and the other half nagged her about the possibly fictional land of Kosovo. But first! Gay rumors! Relive the memories of photo-ops past after the jump!

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The Bush Administration created this video to help explain why we shouldn’t worry our pretty little heads about the NIE and those silly reports that Iran stopped trying to make nukes and stuff. It stars a pussy named Mr. Big Stick and an Intelligence Official named Cherry (for reasons I’m sure will be explained to me in the comments). Yay war!

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino’s job got a little harder this week, what with the new task of convincing the public that it should consider the peaceful Iran NIE hostile. The lovely deathbot likes to take out her frustration on biased and/or dumb questioners during times like these, and today when some guy asked about AIDS research, she told him to “just stop it, stop it.” MORE »

Whenever there’s a new Bush Administration cover-up of peaceful intelligence reports, Joe Biden’s the go-to sound bite. Crazy Eyes appeared on yesterday’s Hardball to reiterate his belief that the Bush Administration has always known Iran stopped its nuke program in 2003, and that if Bush bombed them anyway, Joe would impeach him to death. [via Crooks and Liars]

President Bush held a press conference today in the wake of the newly released National Intelligence Estimate on Iran, which concluded that Iran had stopped its nuclear weapons program in 2003. Bush took this great news as a “‘warning signal’ of a continuing threat from Iran.” So we’re at a point now where a massive intelligence report says Iran is not making nukes, and Bush responds with they are going to nuke us tomorrow. [NYT]

The new National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) on Iran “concludes that Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003 and that the program remains frozen, contradicting judgment two years ago that Tehran was working relentlessly toward building a nuclear bomb.” No word yet on whether this will affect Bush’s plans to invade Iran for working relentlessly toward building a nuclear bomb. [NYT]

Mike McConnell, the national intelligence director, said today that he will not release any of the key findings from the upcoming National Intelligence Estimate on Iran to the public. Because of the terrorists and the Iraq and 9/11 or something… with us or against us… shut up. [CNN]

* Senators refuse to confirm George Casey as Army chief until he tells them where he gets the good happy drugs. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* The “unpleasant but very detailed” 90-page National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq goes to Congress. The 2 pages you’re allowed to see will be podcasted. [WP]
* If you give money to poor people you have to give it to rich people too, this is America, everything has to be equal. [WP, NYT]
* Yes, the Senate is still talking about their, “Mr. President, don’t send more Americans into the middle of civil war!” resolution, letter, email whatever. [NYT]
* Only the brain-dead pay the death tax. [WSJ]
* New Iraq “casualty” count only reflects soldiers who were shot at, not who shoot themselves. [NYT]
* United Nations to world: Global warming, it’s real. [LAT]
* President Bush to nation: no fatties. [WP]

* When the FBI is doing some tapping, they lay “full pipe.” [CNET]
* President Bush bulldozes the press corps. [The Gaggle]
* National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq will be ready just as soon as Negroponte finishes the chapter entitled, “Why more troops would fix everything.” [TPM Muckraker]
* But he better not mention “global” or “warming” in the same sentence or Condi will bleach out his windpipe. [Think Progress]
* New White House pastry chef has experience making Desserts for Dummies. [Political Wire]
* During the next election, John Kerry may find that Massachusetts prefers a bloody sock to his bleeding heart. [Boston Herald]

Delayed due to technical difficulties/epic hangover

• Terror detainee bill passes House, will “authorize the indefinite detention of non-citizens without access to courts - even if they are not charged with any crime.” [WP, NYT, LAT]

• Democrats could win 6 seats and take control of Senate, “if the stars continue to align.” [NYT]
• Jeb Bush talks smack about George Bush’s No Child Left Behind program, “not saying it’s bad, but needs to be better.” [NYT]
• Bush “chaperoned” dinner for passive-aggressive Presidents Pervez Musharraf and Hamid Karzai last night. [BBC, NYT, CNN]
• Kazakh president to be feted at White House state dinner Friday while accusations of rampant corruption, murder, and Borat obstructionism continue to hound him. [NYT, NYT]
• Full NIE dealing with Iraq will not be released. [CNN, W$J]
• Chelsea Clinton to host her dad’s 60th birthday party/fundraiser in New York. Guest list and activities humiliate the CakeLove cupcakes and six-pack you got. [WP]

• Under pressure, White House declassifies portions of the National Intelligence Estimate. [NYT, WP, LAT, USAT, W$J]

• What does it say? What does it mean? The big papers are handy with analysis. [NYT, WP, LAT]
• New campaign ads debuted yesterday, fueling “the most toxic midterm campaign environment in memory.” [NYT]
• Government rat and former Enron CFO Andrew Fastow sentenced to only 6 years. [WP]
• Senate Democrats propose bill to reimburse states for cost of using paper ballots in mid-term election. [NYT]
• Local woman who was the “first female graduate of West Point to die in Iraq” given a soldiers funeral yesterday. [WP]
• Jon Stewart serves President Musharraf a twinkie, hilarity ensues. [WP]

• Oprah’s not running, gives Larry King her “O-face” tonight, wants Obama in ‘08. [The Swamp]

• Pervez “Perv” Musharraf to announce on The Daily Show tonight that’d he’d gladly give up his nuclear arsenal to get in “the sheets with Angelina Jolie.” [The Corsair]
• White House plans to declassify National Intelligence Estimate, but just that part that says, “we’re safer, bitches.” [Shakespeare's Sister]
• George Allen’s two favorite words on display together at the Zoo. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Vote for Montana Senate candidate Jon Tester because he’s a hunka hot man, also because he’s not Conrad Burns. [Boozhy]
• Trendsetter Hugo Chavez inspires Jerry Falwell to return to his roots making sure we all know who the devil really is. [Think Progress]
• The counter-terrorism plan Bill Clinton claims he left in place? It had to be scrapped because the ninja’s inability to get security-clearances after 9/11. [IMAO]
• Bloggers invited to the Coburn-Obama signing! Luckily, not us.[TPMMuckraker]

Yesterday, while the never-ending Hayden confirmation hearings ground our will to live into dust, Ken Silverstein posted a troubling hilarious story on the CIA in Iraq. Did you know that there hasn’t been a National Intelligence Estimate written on Iraq since November of 2004? Why doesn’t the CIA ever report the good news from Iraq, huh? Schools are being painted, guys! Former agency officials, as always, give great quote: MORE »