nicolas sarkozy

America let George W. Bush return to his quiet, private life so his undocumented workers he could clean up dust bunnies in his suburban McMansion even though he tortured us all (some of us, literally) for eight years playing neo-con puppet to Dick Cheney’s and John Bolton’s war administration. This says a lot about America […]

Last night at 8pm not-your-time, two hours after the Belgian and Swiss media had already published election results and 30 minutes after Nicolas Sarkozy deleted his Facebook page, the French media announced that socialist François Hollande (great NYT bio) will be the next president of France. France is a country of 1,765,983,854 laws that are […]

Here’s l’update for those of you who are bedazzled by the French presidential election. The two candidates had their only debate on Wednesday night. We have written many, many words about it below, but if you prefer, you can listen to a hip-hop remix of François Hollande’s statements and a daft-punk remix of Sarkozy. Le […]

With only seven days to go until the final round of voting in France’s presidential election, some lefty terrorist media organization published documentary evidence that Nicolas Sarkozy was promised 50 Million freedom fries in campaign contributions from snappy dresser and all around nice guy Muammar Gaddafi. Here’s what’s in the little letter of money promises, […]

In the land of perpetual ennui, where humor is not a cultural norm, the French had their first round of presidential elections yesterday, and also their second revolution. This time, they didn’t have to show up at the Bastille with burning baguettes, they just stayed in their pajamas and revolted on Twitter, flouting la loi […]

New reports out of France suggest that George W. Bush had prior knowledge of the evil librul plot to destroy America by electing an overwhelmingly centrist politician to succeed him. Let’s have the dirt, Buzzfeed: “George W. Bush told French President Nicolas Sarkozy that he had early intelligence that Democrat Barack Obama would be his […]

Oh this is cute! Barack Obama got together with his friends David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy at the war treehouse, pulled out some construction paper, and wrote an op-ed together in blood-colored crayon. so long as Qaddafi is in power, NATO must maintain its operations so that civilians remain protected and the pressure on the […]

In his State of the Union Wednesday, Obama will announce a spending freeze for many of America’s domestic programs. As these programs do not include Lost, no one will care. [New York Times] The US is holding a conference at the UN in March in which ten countries will try to figure out how to […]

Here is your annual bit of foreign news from the foreign country of France! France’s “President”—think: the equivalent of America’s “minority whip”—Nicolas Sarkozy posted a Facebook photo on his French Facebook in which he is shown personally destroying the Berlin Wall with a Nicolas Sarkozy-sized ax. Except according to historical evidence dating back to November […]

The Obamas have a terrible relationship with the Queen of England, Elizabeth Windsor. This is known. When they visited the Queen a few months ago, Barack Obama gave Her Majesty a “Touch iPod” loaded with hardcore interracial pornography films and swine flu. Michelle Obama, meanwhile, grabbed the Queen’s boobs for at least 30 minutes. The […]

The Junior Senator from France, Nicolas Sarkozy, has started up with some anti-imperialist rhetoric in Prussian capital of Munich of all places. On the bright side, this new WWI with France and Germany will save the economy for sure. [Matthew Yglesias] Jeb Bush will offer Constructive Criticisms regarding the stimulus bill in the form of […]

Barack Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy had been engaging in some “heavy petting” during this Congressional Trip, until this moment. During their joint press conference, CNN’s Christiane Amanpour asks Sarkozy if he feels awkward praising black Obama when, only a few years ago, he was calling black French rioters “scum,” the worst word in […]

Oh George Bush is having quite a grand time at the annual G8 conference in Japan. He’s not molesting Angela Merkel this time, but he is embarrassing everyone: “The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: ‘Goodbye from the world’s […]

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the French First “Babe,” is prepping her new musical album for release, and some newspaper has already gotten a preview! The collection is titled Comme si de rien n’était, or as Native Americans call it, “maize.” It features all sorts of great songs about how she’s slept with 30 people, and how husband […]