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Do not despair, jobless people! You’re not alone. Several members of Congress who lost their positions in the 2008 elections have yet to find gainful employment, and perennial loser Alberto Gonzales also remains at loose ends because George Bush was the only person left in America who would hire him. MORE »
After a valiant and hard-fought campaign, former pretend Congresswoman and full-time nutbag Shelley Sekula Gibbs lost to some joker named Pete Olson last night in a primary runoff for Texas’ 22nd Congressional district. Thus marks the close of another chapter in the fascinating political saga of a woman so beloved by her would-be consituents that one voter called her “DraculaCunt.” MORE »
Nobody likes former pretend Congresswoman Shelley Sekula Gibbs: not her staff, who walked out on her shortly after she came into Congress in 2006 for her seven-week reign of terror as Tom DeLay’s replacement; not the voters, who opted for Democrat Nick Lampson that year rather than suffer the agonies of spelling her name correctly on a write-in ballot; and not even her fellow Republicans, who now heartily endorse her opponent in Texas’ 22nd District run-off. Even Senator John Cornyn, the most vile, slithering, odious thing to come out of Texas since the Barton Springs Salamander, prefers candidate Pete Olson over DraculaCunt’s sorry ass. MORE »
Former fake Texas Congresswoman Shelley “Dracula Cunt” Sekula Gibbs won an election, once: it was a “special” election to determine who would warm Tom DeLay’s old seat when he resigned in shame. For seven glorious weeks she served our nation, and then there was a normal election, and she lost horribly to a Democrat named “Slick Nick” Lampson. She vowed never to give up on America, and today America can show it has not given up on her by voting for her crazy ass in the 22nd Congressional District primary. MORE »
Dean Hrbacek is from Sugar Land, Texas, the home of former Congressman Tom “Corrupt Asshole” DeLay and he’s one of 10 Republicans vying for the right to challenge Democratic Congressman Nick Lampson for his seat in the fall. He’s also, apparently, a bit pudgy. So pudgy, in fact, that his own staff Photoshopped his head onto the body of a slimmer man, ostensibly because he didn’t have the time to sit for a portrait for his campaign literature. His chief of staff, Scott Broschart said, “He may appreciate that we took a few pounds off him,” so we thought we’d earn some of his appreciation by helping out just a little bit more. [Houston Chronicle]
An anonymous Wonkette Operative (Covert Free Booze Division) attended one of the ten zillion holiday parties going on this week, and was kind enough to send us this report.
Congresswoman Ellen Tauscher and the New Democratic Coalition held their Holiday Party last night at Ellen’s swanky pad (which I’m assuming was paid for with her Wall Street bucks and not her Congressional salary). In an unsurprising development, the place was packed with corporate lobbyists and their hired guns there to pay homage to some of the Democrats who might listen (and to the ones that taken their money).
Not to be outdone on the violence front, Tom DeLay’s campaign (allegedly) sent out supporters to “wreck” a presser by his former Democratic challenger, Nick Lampson — and they beat up an old lady! Say what you will about Cynthia McKinney, at least she assaults people personally, and goes after guys twice her size (presumably — the cop is still unnamed). MORE »
