Tag: nfl

ROY MOORE NOT GONNA LET YOU FOOSBALL MENS BREAK FLAG LAW!

Disgraced former Alabama Supreme Court idiot Roy Moore has thoughts on the 'rule of law.' Stop giggling, you.

Trump Amputates Healthcare For Poors. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 13, 2017

Trump breaks healthcare, Ryan Zinke flies his own freaky corrupt flag, and Wilbur Ross will shove Trump Tax Cuts (For Rich People Only) down your throat. Your morning news brief.

Trump Thinks Puerto Rico Has Been Mollycoddled Enough. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct 12, 2017

Shit in Puerto Rico gets serious, Rose McGowan suspended from Twitter for being worse than nazis we guess, and Hannity is blowing Trump on national TV. Your morning news brief!

Kissinger Advises Trump: Do Illegal Immediately. Wonkagenda for Wed., Oct 11. 2017

Trump talks with Kissinger, REXXON's 'fucking moron' gets worse, and Mike Ditka is a fucking idiot. Your BIG morning news brief!

Your Weekly Top Ten Hasn’t Been Blocked By Maggie Haberman YET

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES ABOUT MAGGIE HABERMAN RIGHT NOW!

6 Out Of 10 Football Fans Agree: Donald Trump Should Go Munch AstroTurf

Uh oh, Donald Trump sucking ass in polls again!

Son of Zombie TrumpCare Dead (Again)… Wonkagenda For Wed., Sept. 27, 2017

TrumpCare dies (again), Jill Stein Facebook ads paid for in rubles, and brace yourself, the Trump Tax is coming.

Trump All GRRRR At Black People, For A Change. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 25, 2017

Sportsball ruined forever, Merkel holds on, and Peggy Noonan ponders peace through Trump. Your morning news brief.

Colin Kaepernick: Domestic Terrorist, Or ACTUAL OSAMA BIN LADEN? Fox And NFL Unsure!

Is Colin Kaepernick the best quarterback who ever lived? Nah. But it's pretty weird how he STILL doesn't have a job. Wonder why!

Donald Trump’s Debate Prep Strategy Mostly Involves Prepping To Weasel Out Of Debating

Donald Trump didn't just spend the weekend beating up on the family of a war hero, oh, heavens no! The man is a master of multi-weaseling, as he demonstrated in his Sunday interview with George Stephanopoulos on ABC's "This...
This is really going awfully well for him, isn't it?

Wonkagenda: Monday, August 1, 2016

You get in here and read your newz breif, RIGHT NOW!

Pat Robertson Doesn’t Understand Why NFL Loves Georgia Buttsex So Much

America's senile grandpa Pat Robertson is having a confuseness in his brain. You see, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal (The Republican) announced that he would veto HB 757, a bill to protect the "religious freedom" of dongweasel lunatic fundamentalist Christians...

Peyton Manning Hires Ari Fleischer To Ensure No One Believes A Word He Says

Over the weekend, a big thing happened in sportsball, which you know we are always on top of here at yr Wonkette. Turns out that the freedom-hatersĀ over at Al Jazeera declared jihad on All-American Hero Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton...
SHE PISSED.

Lesbian Superhero Houston Mayor Wants Gay Rights Ordinance Back Right Now, Dammit

Tuesday night, Houston took one giant leap backward for humankind, as the Jenny Jerkoffs who showed up to vote decided to listen to lying religious right mofos instead of their own good sense, and effectively killed the Houston Equal...
Is nothing sacred?

Houston Astros Hacked, Maybe Should Change Password To Something Better Than ‘LOLSPORTS’

In the Very Serious Business of grown men playing games, for money, here is another shocking tale of corruption in sports. This time, it's ourĀ nation's favorite pastime, as wholesome and pure and all-American as mom's apple pie or getting...