Rush Limbaugh had a supportive shout-out today for Superbowl-winning sportsball coach and NBC sportsball analyst Tony Dungy, who told the Tampa Tribune yesterday that he would never have drafted Michael Sam, who’s just too darn gay. Said Dungy, “I wouldn’t have taken him … Not because I don’t believe Michael Sam should have a chance […]

We hepped you to the terrifying reality of the Kentucky Fried Chicken corsage. Perfect for prom! We genuinely do wish we liked El Camino Real, the new record by the venerable Camper Van Beethoven, a bit more. We watched the Nashville finale. There was a big cliffhanger you’ll probably care about, and one you probably […]

Aaron Hernandez looks like a really good football sportsball star, with many awards that are nothing but letters (SEC! AFC! BCS!) that show he was well-regarded in college and his career with the New England Patriots. However, it seems that what Aaron Hernandez is really the best at is (ALLEGEDLY) murdering people. Let’s go in […]

Bryan Fischer must be excited for his new job over at GOPUSA, where he’s clearly going to be teaching a master class in concern trolling. Yes, Bryan Fischer is very very concerned — no seriously you guys, shut up, he really is — about Michael Sam’s health, and he really feels that the NFL is […]

We decided not to give you any Happy links yesterday for a reason we’ve now forgotten in the mists of alcohol time, so today you’re getting a double dose. Lucky duckies! We recapped Patton Oswalt’s turn on Agents of SHIELD, which is getting better but is still probably not good. We reviewed Draft Day, the […]

Have you been trying to sort out the complex distinction between Whoopi Goldberg’s “rape rape” and Todd Akin’s “legtimate rape” and plain old rape? Well now here is Very Famous Allegedly Rapey Former NFL Sportsball Player Darren Sharper to make this even more nonsensical: he was having some good old non-consensual sex but that isn’t […]

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he […]

Look at us going all sportsball! It’s a new vertical synergized avenue of thought leader growth, mainly because there are many sports-related things that bring the funny and/or stupid. Today, we have lobbyist Jack Burkman floating a bill to ban gays from the NFL because that is the most pressing political issue of the day. […]

When Michael Sam is drafted — it should be a matter of when not if, because if Sam liked lady bits, there would no question he would get drafted — Sam would be the first openly gay professional athlete in a major American team sport. But Sam’s draft status is an open question because, after he […]

Somehow, it’s hard to focus on sportsball’s magnificent athleticism when it seems like there are always stories about athletes doing murder — ALLEGEDLY — and raping women across America — ALLEGEDLY — and domestic violencing the ladies and all manner of breakin’ the law. All of that somehow gets a pass because SPORTSBALL, while Richard […]

If you were anywhere near a news source last night, you learned that University of Missouri defensive lineman and SEC [Southeastern Conference] co-defensive player of the year Michael Sam came out as gay. There was no teasing of the story for a million years at the national level, so the piece was a surprise to […]

We wish we could say we were surprised by the fact that pro football cheerleaders earn wages that make McDonald’s workers look well-compensated, but we aren’t. Finally, one squad — the Oakland Raiderettes — has stepped up and sued their team because they are as mad as hell and they just aren’t going to take […]

Hi, Wonkaloonies! Yr Doktor Zoom really enjoyed “sleeping in” this week! But we are back from vacation now, and ready for another Derp Roundup, our weekly Sloppy Joe of news trimmings that were too stoopid to ignore altogether but not quite enough to make a full post out of. We have to use ‘em before […]

Oh LOOK who is suddenly on the side of organized labor, now that a bunch of scab refs are messing with his precious football? (Hint: it is Scott Walker, the union-busting asshole of a governor from Wisconsin.)

Oh, guess we sort of answered our own question there, duh, it is because they are black! Christopher Johnson and Nathaniel Claybrooks are two hot black guys who are also football players, and they wanted to be on television but they never got chosen for the wildly popular television program “Bachelor Wives” because of blackness […]