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Tag: newtown massacre

It's not the Bilberberger that'll get you. It's the secret sauce. Which is made of PEOPLE!

These Are The Sad People Alex Jones Is Manipulating To Do Evil

Hopefully somebody will sue Jones very soon, the miserable psychopath.
Richard Blumenthal shows you his Pokemans, Brian Schatz hangs loose

Your Senate Sunday: Connecticut And Hawaii Just Blued Themselves!

Let's take a look at a couple of safe Democratic Senate seats for a change. Also, an incumbent who was once falsely accused of sheep diddling.
Which of these men would YOU rather hug?

Your Senate Sunday: Anybody But Oklahoma Sen. James Lankford (R – The Worst)

How do you solve a problem like Jim Lankford?
Free kitten with every five mass shootings

Adorable Senate Prepares To Pretend To ‘Do Something’ About Guns, Isn’t That Sweet?

Oh good, the Senate is finally going to appear to do something about guns, and then fail. Then we can go back to having our real gun laws dictated to the states by the NRA, as the Founders intended.

For Third Anniversary Of Newtown Child Murders, Give Classy ‘Christian Carry’ Pin To Someone You Love

It's been three years since Sandy Hook, and 554 American children have been killed by guns since then. That works out to an average of one child sacrificed every other day on the altar of the Holy Second Amendment....
An armed society of intelligent cats is a polite society of intelligent cats.

Clip & Save! Your Handy Wonkette Review Of (Part Of) Dana Loesch’s New ‘Book’

We were planning to review for your enjoyment Amazon’s free preview of Dana Loesch’s new book-like substance, Hands Off My Gun, because who doesn’t want to spend a nice afternoon slogging through a piece of writing that is one...
Honestly, there has to be some logical explanation of why she's so touchy

Why Is Gabby Giffords So Shrill And Emotional About Guns?

We aren't quite sure we've finished throwing up yet in reaction to this Politico piece about that mean bitch Gabby Giffords, who has made some very cruel, unfair ads about the issue of gun control for some reason: Gabby Giffords,...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Gun-Humpers, More Gun-Humpers, And David Brooks

Welp, time for another of our periodic muckings-out of the old comments queue. Friday's piece on David Brooks and his explanation of why "income inequality" ain't no thing was not well-received by "DavDar," whose pseudonym suggests they have an...

‘Sons Of Anarchy’ Creator Auditions For Wonkette With Awesome Swear-Filled Missive To Human Scold Brent Bozell

Kurt Sutter, the creator and producer of Sons of Anarchy, which we understand is a popular family drama about duck hunters and their loveable dog solving mysteries on a remote space station, was not especially impressed by some criticism...

Stupidest Man On Internet Proclaims Only Armed Guard Could Have Stopped Newtown If They Were In Exactly Right Spot And Lanza Didn’t Shoot Them...

Stupidest Man On the Internet Jim Hoft has perpetrated more blogging about the Sandy Hook massacre. As usual, he also performs multiple acts of vandalism on facts and logic. Today's flaming bag of dogshit on the internet's...

Hero Dad Stands Ground Against Daughter’s 3.6 GPA

So, just in case you might be worried that there might not be any positive sides to the upswing in gun sales following the Newtown Massacre, here's the feel-good story of a dad who tried to use the Second...

How Did It Take Five Whole Weeks To Blame These Shootings On Welfare Mom Fraud?

Last week, we listened with interest as Michele Bachmann BFF and teen-girl-cry-maker Bradlee Dean explained that all these shootings we keep having are because of overmedication of children. We were sympathetic to the underlying statement, but somewhat taken aback...

Genius Of History David Barton Claims Founding Fathers Were Awesomest At Guns

Serial fact-molester David Barton has opened his fool mouth and allowed utter bullshit to fall out again, which we suppose means it's Tuesday. Barton, the genius who believes that many parts of the Constitution are "direct quotations" from the...