Tag Archives: newtown massacre

  wonkette world o' books

Clip & Save! Your Handy Wonkette Review Of (Part Of) Dana Loesch’s New ‘Book’

An armed society of intelligent cats is a polite society of intelligent cats.
We were planning to review for your enjoyment Amazon’s free preview of Dana Loesch’s new book-like substance, Hands Off My Gun, because who doesn’t want to spend a nice afternoon slogging through a piece of writing that is one step removed from the crude etchings some Neanderthal left on the wall of a cave ten thousand years ago. It would be impossible to be more generous than that to Dana even if we didn’t already think she is an insane ball of white-hot derp. Read more on Clip & Save! Your Handy Wonkette Review Of (Part Of) Dana Loesch’s New ‘Book’…
  Women Get So Emotional About Murder

Why Is Gabby Giffords So Shrill And Emotional About Guns?

Honestly, there has to be some logical explanation of why she's so touchy
We aren’t quite sure we’ve finished throwing up yet in reaction to this Politico piece about that mean bitch Gabby Giffords, who has made some very cruel, unfair ads about the issue of gun control for some reason: Read more on Why Is Gabby Giffords So Shrill And Emotional About Guns?…
  if you're so smart why ain't you rich?

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Gun-Humpers, More Gun-Humpers, And David Brooks

Welp, time for another of our periodic muckings-out of the old comments queue. Friday’s piece on David Brooks and his explanation of why “income inequality” ain’t no thing was not well-received by “DavDar,” whose pseudonym suggests they have an uncanny ability to spot any Daves in the room at a glance. DavDar is one of those free-market cheerleaders who occasionally wander into Wonkette, write a dozen comments taking issue with every other comment on a story, and then flounce out with a grumble about how Wonkette Hates Free Speech — and indeed, the last thing we heard from DavDar was, Another cowardly leftist site that won’t post opposing arguments. Quelle surprise! Ah, but here is vôtre comment, right ici! It is quite la surprise, non? Needless to say, DavDar does not think this “income inequality” is anything to worry about either, since poor people mostly bring it on themselves by not planning well: This “hard work” meme is taken out of context deliberately by those on the Left. Obviously you can’t just dig ditches all day and expect them to be filled with money when you get up the next day. Hard work has to be accompanied by working smarter, setting realistic goals, making plans, having patience and avoiding stupid mistakes. Silly poors — if they want to get ahead in life, they should be stockbrokers. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Gun-Humpers, More Gun-Humpers, And David Brooks…
  guns don't kill people; fictional biker gangs kill people

‘Sons Of Anarchy’ Creator Auditions For Wonkette With Awesome Swear-Filled Missive To Human Scold Brent Bozell

Kurt Sutter, the creator and producer of Sons of Anarchy, which we understand is a popular family drama about duck hunters and their loveable dog solving mysteries on a remote space station, was not especially impressed by some criticism leveled at his teevee program by rightwing morality scold and First Amendment illiterate Brent Bozell. Bozell, whose job is to have periodic aneurysms over liberal bias and moral outrages in the broadcast media, and then raise funds to fight them (the liberal outrages, not the aneurysms), wrote a dumb column Friday accusing “the left” of hypocrisy: After the Newtown school shooting, commentators on the Left expressed outrage that gun-rights groups were exploiting the attack to build membership in the wake of all the liberal demands for a federal crackdown on gun owners. Nine months later, they’re curiously silent as Rupert Murdoch’s cable network FX milks a fictional Catholic school shooting for commercial gain. Because of course, exploiting a tragedy in order to equate modest reforms of gun laws with Nazism and fictional violence in a teevee drama, nine months after a tragedy are pretty much the same thing. You might think there is a difference between the immediate aftermath of a tragedy and nine months later, but remember — it took YEARS for Taxi Driver to trigger John Hinckley. Won’t someone think of the stunt doubles? Incidentally, the average person can’t walk into an effects shop and buy the explosive squibs used to simulate gunshots on teevee…you need an explosives license. Thanks to the NRA, there’s no such restriction for an AR-15 with real child-shredding bullets. Read more on ‘Sons Of Anarchy’ Creator Auditions For Wonkette With Awesome Swear-Filled Missive To Human Scold Brent Bozell…
  stupid is as stupid does

Stupidest Man On Internet Proclaims Only Armed Guard Could Have Stopped Newtown If They Were In Exactly Right Spot And Lanza Didn’t Shoot Them First

Stupidest Man On the Internet Jim Hoft has perpetrated more blogging about the Sandy Hook massacre. As usual, he also performs multiple acts of vandalism on facts and logic. Today’s flaming bag of dogshit on the internet’s porch contains one (1) factual error and one (1) wholly specious conclusion. We shall resist the urge to stomp on it, but will rather douse it with the Water Of Fact-Checking and then carefully remove it with the Tongs of Sweet Reason. Read more on Stupidest Man On Internet Proclaims Only Armed Guard Could Have Stopped Newtown If They Were In Exactly Right Spot And Lanza Didn’t Shoot Them First…
  Do Not Taunt Happy Gun Troll

Hero Dad Stands Ground Against Daughter’s 3.6 GPA

So, just in case you might be worried that there might not be any positive sides to the upswing in gun sales following the Newtown Massacre, here’s the feel-good story of a dad who tried to use the Second Amendment to remedy his kid’s academic problems. St. Paul, Minnesota, dad Kirill Bartashevitch, 51, was charged with two felony counts of “terroristic threats” after aiming his brand-new AK-47 at his daughter and wife during an argument about the 15-year-old’s grades. Some might consider that a bit extreme, but the little slacker was getting two B’s instead of straight A’s. Read more on Hero Dad Stands Ground Against Daughter’s 3.6 GPA…
  guns don't kill people welfare moms do

How Did It Take Five Whole Weeks To Blame These Shootings On Welfare Mom Fraud?

Last week, we listened with interest as Michele Bachmann BFF and teen-girl-cry-maker Bradlee Dean explained that all these shootings we keep having are because of overmedication of children. We were sympathetic to the underlying statement, but somewhat taken aback by his proposed solution: to beat the murder and mental illness out of our children, like God and the Bible intended. Well, luckily, Rep. James Lankford of Oklahoma City has squared the circle. Not only are all these shootings happening because of overmedicating our children, but we are overmedicating our children because single welfare moms want to commit Social Security fraud. So they are doping up their children so they can get bigger checks. Our only question is how on earth did it take five whole weeks after the Newtown massacre for the GOP to blame women on welfare? You’re slipping, Republicans! Read more on How Did It Take Five Whole Weeks To Blame These Shootings On Welfare Mom Fraud?…
  Shooting Off His Mouth Again

Genius Of History David Barton Claims Founding Fathers Were Awesomest At Guns

Serial fact-molester David Barton has opened his fool mouth and allowed utter bullshit to fall out again, which we suppose means it’s Tuesday. Barton, the genius who believes that many parts of the Constitution are “direct quotations” from the Bible, said yesterday on his dumb radio show that if everybody carried guns all the time, we’d stop being afraid of guns because we’d be familiar with them. Also, nobody would have gun accidents anymore, again because we’d all be very familiar with our guns. As proof, he says that gun accidents were very rare during the America’s early era, again, because Americans just become better people with guns and Bibles at hand. Sure! Why not? Read more on Genius Of History David Barton Claims Founding Fathers Were Awesomest At Guns…