newtown
Piers Morgan Responds To London Terror Killing By Uninviting Dana Loesch From His Birthday Party
In a concrete demonstration of what happens when insufferable jerkbag meets irredeemable boor, Dana Loesch and Piers Morgan had themselves a big ol’ Twitter fight Wednesday, the occasion being Loesch’s tweet in response to the decapitation of a British soldier by a pair of terrorists. Dana made a funny joke about why gun control is [...]
Minnesota Radio Host Has Best-Ever Apology For Telling Newtown Parents To ‘Go To Hell’
This week, Minnesota radio host Bob Davis, of Davis & Emmer, delivered a master class in victimology: the parents whose children were murdered in Newtown were victimizing Bob Davis by … well, we are not sure. Asking for universal background checks maybe, which of course used to be the sensible position shared by the NRA [...]
In Which We Are Irrationally Hopeful That Not Everyone Is a Total Idiot About Gun Control
With the way so many of our politicians cower in terror every time they spot Wayne LaPierre rushing in their direction, his crazy eyes rolling in their sockets like the googly-eyed panda magnet on our refrigerator, we have thought we might break out the Dance of Joy if just one politician would tell him to go [...]
Steven Seagal, American Hero, Trains Armed Vigilante Posse In Arizona
We can all learn from Steven Seagal, American hero, who just keeps giving and giving and giving and then when you think he can’t give any more, BOOM, there he is, magnanimously creating jobs for female Russian masseuses, and then POW, don’t look now, but there goes Steven Seagal, shooting at (illegal) Mexicans in Texas, [...]
Lutheran Pastor Sorry For His Terrible Sin: Praying With Other Religions At Sandy Hook Vigil
It is a good thing God sent his only begotten son to us to wash away our sins, because a Connecticut pastor had a doozy of one. (Please remove all children and pregnant women from the room, before you read the shocking thing you are about to read, with your eyeballs, which very well might [...]
Would The Parents Of Newtown Shooting Victims Just Shut Up Already
You know what’s annoying? People who stand up for things. People who think something should be a certain way, and when their state’s lawmaking body holds a public hearing, they show up and try to explain what they want, like idiots. The Connecticut General Assembly put together one such gathering of Believers In Things yesterday, [...]
Michelle Malkin’s Lessons From Newtown: Teach Your Kids Not to Fear Death
Oh are we still doing this? Writing stupid garbage so we can figure out Why It Happened and What We Can Do (Besides Restricting Guns) T0 Make Sure It Never Happens Again? Yes, we are still doing this, or at least, Michelle Malkin is and she has some really new ideas, none of which have [...]
Bikers Save Newtown Funerals From Left-Wing Cult ‘God Hates Fags’
Everybody go hug a biker today! Not only did they show up in Newtown to physically block the view of Newtown mourners from the God Hates Fags funeral parade, but they also apparently blocked the sight of “left-wing” protesters … “left-wing protesters” like God Hates Fags! Wait, what? Take it away, Internet’s Second Stupidest Man, [...]
Not On My Show Says Joe on Morning Joe Morning Show
Joe Scarborough can’t stop talking about guns, and now he’s gone and shouted at poor Kansas Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kansas) in an “explosion” (although if this is Joe Scarborough “exploding,” Yr. Wonkette concludes he must be a pretty chill bro) about assault weapons and children’s safety and DO YOU DARE COME ON MY SHOW blah [...]
National Review: Give Your Kids Boundaries, Like ‘No, You May Not Shoot Up A School’
Oh, everybody was sooooo outraged when Megan McArdle took to the pixels of the Daily Beast to suggest that since only banning all guns would be effective in stopping gun violence, and we can’t ban all guns, we should train our children to “gang-rush” men who are shooting at them with semi-automatic weapons, “Let’s roll!”-styley. [...]
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