Tag: newtown

Hey, NRA: The Kids Have Some Thoughts And Prayers For You Too

This is new. And while it never should have been necessary, it's inspiring.

Nation’s Idiots Rush To Explain Why Florida School Massacre Isn’t About Guns

A Children's Garden Of Bullshit And Misdirection

Betsy DeVos’s Confirmation Hearing Was TOTAL SH*T SHOW, Let’s Laugh At It!

The Democrats were SO MEAN, and it was awesome.
Richard Blumenthal shows you his Pokemans, Brian Schatz hangs loose

Your Senate Sunday: Connecticut And Hawaii Just Blued Themselves!

Let's take a look at a couple of safe Democratic Senate seats for a change. Also, an incumbent who was once falsely accused of sheep diddling.

Water Is Wet, Nickelback Sucks, NRA Endorses Donald Trump

No, for real, THIS HAPPENED, can you even believe it?
Guns grabbed: Zero. Minds changed: Also zero.

Barack Obama’s CNN Gun Control Town Hall Sells A Million More Guns, Probably

Barack Obama took his call for slightly expanded background checks for gun purchase to CNN Thursday night, in an hour-long town hall where the president took some tough questions from pro-gun activists, and made the case that any action...

Barack Obama Proposes A Few Minor Tweaks To Prevent Gun Deaths, Usual Freakout Ensues

Now that Barack Obama has nullified the Second Amendment and grabbed all the guns, we'd like to look back at the speech in which he sounded the death knell of freedom for approximately the 1,485th time in his presidency....

The Vilest Moments Of The GOP Las Vegas Debate, As Chosen By Wonkette, Which Knows From ‘Vile’

Now that we've had almost a full day to take our Dramamine, and maybe some knockout-drops, we are ready to look back at the main GOP debate in Las Vegas and determine: who, among the Trumps and not-Trumps, managed...

For Third Anniversary Of Newtown Child Murders, Give Classy ‘Christian Carry’ Pin To Someone You Love

It's been three years since Sandy Hook, and 554 American children have been killed by guns since then. That works out to an average of one child sacrificed every other day on the altar of the Holy Second Amendment....
Sad Jebbers is sadness.

President Jeb Bush Addresses Grieving Nation: ‘Stuff Happens’

If you've been wondering what President Jeb Bush, what with being a Bush and having all that genetic expertise on how to do presidenting real good, would do about the mass shootings we have every single week in America,...
This would fix everything

Another Mass Shooting In America. What The Hell Are We Supposed To Say?

What are we supposed to tell you about the man who murdered 10 people at Umpqua Community College in Oregon on Thursday morning? Gawker's Sam Biddle wrote on Thursday in defense of reporters contacting witnesses, via Twitter, even if it...
Same as it ever was.

NRA Dude Hopes Virginia Shooting Victims’ Parents Won’t Be Total Pussies About This

After last week's horrific on-air murder of TV journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward, many people immediately braced themselves for exactly what disgusting thing the NRA would have to say. At first, there were mostly tumbleweeds, but as the NRA is...
Not a pussy.

Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He’s Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob

Bobby Jindal, craven asshole: Despite the fact that John Russell Houser had a long history of mental illness and arrests but was able to legally purchase a .40 caliber semi-automatic handgun at a pawn shop, Governor Bobby Jindal repeatedly told...

NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!

We have only begun to graze the tip of the iceberg when it comes to obscene, disgusting wingnut reactions to the Charleston mass murder that ended the lives of 9 black churchgoers, aged from 26 to 87, on Wednesday night....

Hero School Board Member Martyred Over Plan To Lovingly Remember Sandy Hook Victims With Ammo Giveaway

Last month, lots of people worked through their continuing grief over Sandy Hook in their own ways. There were moments of silence and flags flown at half-mast. Some people, like Gregory Beck, a member of the Brookfield school...

Responsible Gun Owners Have A Banner Week (Updated)

We're back in the Wonkette Bunker O'Love, the underground safe room on our Idaho compound that we reserve for stories about guns and the wonderful people who fondle them. And as usual, we have some inspiring tales of proud...