• Gay marriage is not legal in New Hampshire after all, thanks to its House of Democrats who were all, ehh no thanks, apparently. [Reuters]
• Newt Gingrich has admitted to having “fantasies” about being the GOP nominee in 2012. Except: are these alleged fantasies a ploy to boost book sales, or do they perhaps relate to something sexual-like, involving his wife, a one Callista Gingrich? Maybe!/ew! [Daily Intel]
• Not to be outdone by Barack Obama, the President, Dick Cheney will also be giving a talk about National Security tomorrow, because… his standing as… current Vice President… presupposes his ability to influence policy… [Gawker]
• Eric Holder is not going to let Congress or whatever ruin Barry’s plans to close down Gitmo. [First Read]

This National Council for a New America, what do they do exactly besides hold coffee klatsches in Alexandria and inflame the ire of conservative voters? Who knows, but they’ve sucked Newt Gingrich into their little borg, which means they probably have spare wives and free donuts on hand. [The Fix]

As this whole, “Who loved torture the most, the liberal leather queen Nancy Pelosi or the sadistic dungeon-masters at the CIA?” debate rages, we know we’re getting closer to the truth because both sides say the other is lying. And now this fellow “Newt,” who will not sue Twitter, will instead pick a fight with Nancy Pelosi because that is a fine way of keeping this very sensitive issue nonpartisan. MORE »

• NEWT GINGRICH WILL NOT SUE TWITTER: But that doesn’t mean he can spell! “A false story was planted this morning about my sueing twitter. This is totally false and we have repudiated it with the media.” Jesus, this guy and Olbermann have some nerve. Can you famous people PLEASE stick to the false stories that have been reported about you? [Twitter]

One of Washington’s “most influential Twitterers,” Newt Gingrich, and a failed RNC chair candidate, Saul Anuzis, are threatening to sue their favorite web-based application after noticing that one of its popular features can easily be abused to humiliate them. A pro-Employee Free Choice Act twat called “EFCANOW” has been tagging Gingrich and Anuzis to make them look like supporters of EFCA — they aren’t — which then alerts Gingrich’s 238,000 and Anuzis’ 8,000 followers to the EFCA’s message. Now they want to SUE because this is a LIE, on Twitter. This is hilarious. All of you active twats out there should follow Jason Linkins’ example and tag Gingrich with terrible things. “Join @newtgingrich for Nazi-themed gay child rape party @ his mom’s house,” etc. [The Hill, Huffington Post]

Uhh… MORE »

Newt Gingrich is suddenly a papist! Does he know that he now has to live in Maryland, the designated Catholic slave colony of Lord Baltimore? It’s true. Gingrich was converted in D.C., however, at a Capitol Hill church the other night, after which he went to “celebrate” at the very fancy Cafe Milano restaurant, with lobbyists. Why did he switch to this new Jesus? Well his young (and third) wife is Catholic, so this will shush her up good for a few years, until he divorces her for a new teenager. But obviously the real reason is that he wants to be president and has already calculated some close electoral college scenario where this will put him over the top in a crucial Rust Belt state. [The Caucus]

Here’s what Newt Gingrich tells Bill O’Reilly in response to the latest Homosexual-Mormon War battles: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion.” Dude… they’re just Mormons. MORE »

Newt Gingrich is a lying loser who hasn’t been in power for like 10 years. And yet, he still controls everything in the world. In the last week he’s been leading the right-wing rebellion against the bailout — yelling about socialism, ranting about the pushy Democratic leadership, calling for Hank Paulson’s resignation. We get press releases from Newt Gingrich for some reason! And his words struck a chord with right-wing talk radio, which struck a chord with House Republicans trying to keep their seats. Newt made the Republican base furious over this bailout. And now LOOK, right as voting started today, he released a statement saying, “Eh, I’d vote for this bailout.” His minions apparently did not get their overlord’s message. MORE »

The loser Republicans who refuse to take their vacation and are holding a Cuddle Party about energy on the House floor instead have employed, who else, Newt Gingrich, to get their message out! Gingrich heads a 527 called American Solutions for Winning the Future, or ASWF. The acronym is pronounced “Ass Whoof,” like a fart, which it is. MORE »

It was quite the star-studded affair in Washington D.C. Saturday evening for the annual White House Correspondents Dinner, perhaps the District’s biggest social night of the year. This is the one where journalists and the politicos they cover congregate in an overt celebration of their inappropriate friendships — you know, the ones that caused the Iraq War. All of America can drink to that! Obviously the public-at-large wouldn’t care about a journalism party — they are not for the soft-at-heart, or people who have lives — if it weren’t for the WHCD’s other strange attraction, the liberal Hollywood Movie Star guests! Your Wonkette’s associate editor and videographer/Polaroidist Liz Glover donned our best church clothes Saturday to witness the proceedings, and all we got were strange memories and a wretched purple umbrella that says “Bloomberg.” The troubling story, below! MORE »