It’s funny because today’s paper is actually a step up, standards-and-decency-wise, from last week’s article about the President’s dog.

(Wonkette fingers “Jon H” for the tip.)

The notoriously frivolous Fairbanks Daily News-Miner appears to have been caught Making Fun Of Trig, and the managing editor has written an epic apology: “Today I must apologize to Mrs. Palin personally and on behalf of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner for the choice of words used on the bottom of Wednesday’s front page regarding her speaking engagement in Hong Kong this week to a group of global investors. We used offensive language — ‘A broad in Asia’ — above a small photograph of the former governor to direct readers inside the newspaper to a full story of her Hong Kong appearance.” MORE »

The journalistic newspapers have found a new business model! It involves begging the President to either:

• A. criminalize the Internet, or
• B. monetarily reward the newspapers, with American currency, for their Stockholm syndrome in broadsheet prisons of their own creation.

Every few months Robert Gibbs bothers to respond by asking them why they think anyone on Earth, much less the President, would give them money. WELL: today the newspapermen received a thrilling categorical “dunno, give it a shot?” MORE »

DON’T FORGET TO PISS ON A ‘DUPLICATION MACHINE’ AS YOU LEAVE: Good blogger/columnist Dan Froomkin has posted his last Washington Post piece today, more than a week after Charles Krauthammer fired him. It is excellent. (Except for the part where he criticizes Tim Russert, which is “too soon” — Michael Jackson only died yesterday!) [White House Watch]

C’mon now, libtards. Ad dollars are running thin these days. Some schlock wants to buy an “assassinate the President” ad? Well, if he’s paying cash… “Warren Times Observer Publisher John Elchert says the ad appeared Thursday. It read, ‘May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy!’ The four presidents were all assassinated. Elchert tells The Associated Press that the newspaper’s advertising staff didn’t make the historical connection.” Maybe he just meant “be a mediocre-to-great president.” [AP, The Hill]

Ha ha remember this little flapperoo last week? The Washington Times’ secret Korean Jesus Picture Robot auto-selected a terrible wire photo for the newspaper’s story about young children dying, in Chicago. Call it a “WTF Moment,” in the parlance of our times. And perhaps because of this, and other flaps (constant lies, or at least a reputation for!), mean editor John Solomon will now be instituting PERMANENT RECORDS and DETENTION forever. MORE »

Madame regina St. Peggintonia Noonanshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet guest-hosted a special version of Mornington Joeington today, and one of the topics was the Death of Newspapers and Journalism. In this snippetington, she interrupts a polite conversation between Mika and Arianna to declare an Official Sadness over how, in the future times, our greatest newspapers will not be able to afford sending a single reporter “undercover” to Newark, New Jersey for five months. “Oh well.” Then she calls everyone who does anything on the Internet an idiot, especially in San Diego. Just a very rude woman sometimes, Peggington is. [MSNBC]

The sad saga of America’s important newspapers has taken another downward turn, as it looks like the New York Times Company will maybe, probably, definitely shut down the Boston Globe, which it owns, for not making any money at all. A journalistic reporter at today’s White House press briefing asked Robert Gibbs about the Globe’s demise, and what it all means, and whether Barack Obama will maybe bailout all of these newspapers? With more unicorn money?? Gibbs had one of those “How should I put this…” reactions. MORE »

Today is “Oscar Sunday” for newspapers, Pulitzer Day! This is when the various important newspapers vie for the most important prizes in the fields of journalistic news reporting and commentary before returning to their offices to get laid off or fire-sold into slavery. MORE »

Did Rachel McAdams grow a terrorist neck-beard for her role as newspaper “gossipeuse” Ken Layne? These questions, and more: “Russell Crowe is in strong form as a star investigative reporter definitely of the old school, deftly handling the time-honored cliches of being poorly-dressed, ultra-messy, overweight, and driving a decidedly unstylish car. Rachel McAdams plays up the clash between the classic newspaper culture and the blogosphere as the Washington paper’s political gossipeuse a la Wonkette. Crowe nails her with some apt zingers about blogging stereotypes — all attitude and opinion, sensationalism and shallow facts — and they develop into a good team.” MORE »

DOES OBAMA HATE OUR IMPORTANT NEWSPAPERS? “Last week, this president — a mere child in diapers when my generation was enjoying civil rights and the Beatles — hosted a press conference that was a vulgar deformation of the term. Instead of taking questions from the White House reporters from our most important newspapers, Obama led a rudderless free-for-all in which seemingly any miscreant who wandered in off the street could pose a question to the leader of the free world.” [AOL Political Machine]