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Posts Tagged ‘newsmax’

Monday, May 19th, 2008

OH GOD: “Republican John McCain’s campaign has begun holding regular conference calls with leftwing bloggers and blogs that focus on single issues such as healthcare and the environment.” Hey, do we get a call, or have all the references to Cindy McCain being a pill-popper and John McCain being the Antichrist kind of nixed that? Give us a call, WALLLLLLNUTS! [Newsmax]


Just Get A Divorce And Stop Whining!

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Pretend President’s Pretend Aircraft Carrier Needs Your Help!

Thursday, December 28th, 2006


NewsMax just shot out a breaking news e-mail bulletin: USS Gerald Ford Needs Your Help! Of course, there is no USS Gerald Ford, which is why it needs your help so bad. MORE »


Toe-Sucking Cretin Promises To Leave Country

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

Taking a dump - WonketteForgotten scumbag Dick Morris has finally given us a reason to support Hillary in ‘08: He says he’ll leave the country if she wins! MORE »


Reagan and Bush Not Included

Friday, November 24th, 2006

Is there a better War On Christmas gift than a remaindered $4.99 copy of Ann Coulter’s latest jabberings? Why yes, there is! NewsMax is now offering these beautiful old-people pajamas — or coats or jogging suits or? — free with a subscription to NewsMax! MORE »


For Just $4.99, Show Someone You Don’t Care

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

What if you hate your relatives in a more direct way? Then here’s the “War on Xmas” gift that will make your sentiments perfectly clear: an old Ann Coulter book from the remainders warehouse. Plus, this gift totally keeps on giving, because NewsMax will also mail your victim four crazy newsletters about Mexicans. MORE »


Goldberg vs. Coulter vs. The Rest of Us

Monday, July 17th, 2006

It’s like Godzilla vs. Mothra, only it’s even less clear who to cheer against! goldberg4.jpg MORE »


Gary Developed His Great Respect For the Armed Forces While Researching “Mission to Mars”

Thursday, February 16th, 2006

sinise.jpgRespected online journal NewsMax recently spoke about the war in Iraq with noted foreign policy expert Gary Sinise. In the “wide-ranging interview,” Sinise: MORE »


Free Email Client Outsmarts Team of Pseudo-Journalists

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006

newsmaxscam.JPG
Thank god someone’s demonstrating a little skepticism. Thunderbird also warns us when you send in ridiculous rumors about real celebrities moving here. MORE »


NewsMax’s Advice for the Single Militia Man

Monday, November 14th, 2005

As subscribers to wingnutty NewsMax.com’s “newsletter,” we’re used to a fair amount of spam that seems spawned from late-night talk radio and the back pages of comic books: Mostly ads for Regnery books and gold investments scams. Today, however, delivered something a little different:

Oooooooooohkay
Gives a certain, not-entirely-surprising insight into the NewsMax demographic, no? As for the advice itself, it seems targeted to either the kind of guy who lives alone in a cabin in the woods with a collection of firearms or the kind of guy who wishes he lived alone in a cabin in the woods with a collection of firearms. Both kinds of guys would like a pretty, pliant ladyfriend to keep the cabin tidy:
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted “nice” guys?…I realize that this doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, and it’s hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

More Dr. Bonner’s-type screedy “advice” after the jump.

MORE »