Tag: newsmax

Trump Advisor Worried Native Americans Might Get The Bomb And Nuke Montana

Here's your Conspiracy Theory o' the Day (or part of the day, considering how quickly these things are generated): One of Donald Trump's top foreign policy advisors, Joseph Schmitz, a lawyer and former inspector general at the Pentagon,...
If anyone knows Catholicism, it's Mike Huckabee the Baptist preacher

Mike Huckabee Excommunicates Obama For Inviting Sodomites To Meet Pope

Like many rightwingers who have felt the need to turn Pope Francis's U.S. visit to into a campaign talking point, Mike Huckabee is really offended on behalf of Pope Francis, because Barack Obama went and invited some LGBT guests...

Dinesh D’Souza Whines About ‘Lawless’ Obama Administration, From Jail

D'Felon Dinesh D'Souza, who makes "films" and writes "books" and pleads "guilty" to breaking "laws" and is still some kind of tea party hero for reasons we will never understand, used his yard time this week to ramble on about...
Too subtle?

Wingnuts Pretty Sure It Was Illegals What Gave Measles To All Our Unvaccinated Kids

Break out the ominous creepyscary music of your choice -- we're partial to Bernard Hermann ourselves -- because it's time to tell some scary horror stories about the California measles outbreak! So far, at least 78 confirmed cases have...
Bill Nye (right) talks to A Idiot (left)

Bill Nye Weeps For Your Stupid Homeschooled Children

We sure like us some Bill Nye. Following up on his February "debate" at the Creation museum, in which he handily took apart the bad science behind that institution, Nye has a book out, Undeniable: Evolution and the Science...
You can trust him, he's a doctor

Dr. Ben Carson: Stop Demonizing Lady-Beater Ray Rice, He Just Needs Our Help

When you are trying to run for president without the benefit of current elected office or pre-existing celebrity, you have to make good use of the news cycle. Would-be Republican candidate Dr. Ben Carson did not hesitate to jump...

Richard Mellon Scaife Dies, Gets Chance To Compare Notes With Vince Foster

Richard Mellon Scaife, the guy who made a career of inheriting billions from his banking and oil industry forebears and then blowing it on hating the Clintons in the 1990s, died Friday of cancer. Scaife was a central contributor...

Ben Carson Civilly Disagrees With You About Your Filthy Sinning Gross Gay Marriage

Good Christ but 2016 seems relentlessly far away when we realize that we will have so much more of Bobby Jindal lurching to the right. No, righter. Keep going. We will have endless exegeses of the meaning of Hillary's...

Oliver North Worried That Bergdahl Swap May Have Financed Terrorists. Yes, That Oliver North.

OK, this is just going to be a shortpost because it is already getting late and we have been typing all day but Holy Blessed Jumped-Up Jesus On A Skateboard ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Oliver North is Very...

Newsmax Decides Giving Thousands Of Dollars To Wonkette Not A Great Use Of Dick Morris’s Money

Some time ago -- who can know when, really, without "opening our spreadsheet" and "looking at it" -- rightwing nutjob direct mail trillionaires Newsmax started sending your Wonkette many many tens of dollars per month to put their newsfeed...

Why Is Barack Obama Trying To Arrest Beloved White Pop Singer Pat Boone?

Thanks a lot, BARACK NOBAMA and his New Black Panther Attorney General No-Eric Holder! First you came for the Democrats, sure, but Michelle Malkin was right: that was just a smokescreen for when you would eventually try to arrest...

RINOS At Newsmax Starting Cable Channel To Attack Fox From Middle, With This One Weird Trick

Our good friends at Newsmax -- please click their linkies on the right side of your screen, to give Yr Wonket moneez -- are going to be starting up an exciting and important cable teevee channel in June that...

Newsmax Guy Wishes Blacks Would Shut Up Already

So here is your big serving of racial transcendence for today: Kevin Jackson, author of a book with the subtle title The BIG Black Lie: How I Learned The Truth About The Democrat Party, explaining to Newsmax's...

Donald Trump Declares Newsmax The Kindest, Bravest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Website He’s Ever Known

All of us here at Yr Wonkette have a singleminded devotion to pursuing the news, finding the truth of the day's events, sifting the truth from the lies, and then making a bunch of peener jokes about all that....

How Is Obama Murdering Ronald Reagan With His Bare Black Hands Today?

Hey, did you guys hear this not at all completely hypothetical and fictional and made up (that is what "fictional" means) story about how Barack Obama is personally going to tear down Ronald Reagan's childhood home with his bare...

When Dick Morris And Newsmax Love Each Other Very Much …

It has been a month since the Presidential election exposed the rotting flesh of Dick Morris' underbelly, and he won't stand by idly while people call him a fool! Morris has just released a super in-depth analysis of why...