Wonkette

OH GOD: “Republican John McCain’s campaign has begun holding regular conference calls with leftwing bloggers and blogs that focus on single issues such as healthcare and the environment.” Hey, do we get a call, or have all the references to Cindy McCain being a pill-popper and John McCain being the Antichrist kind of nixed that? Give us a call, WALLLLLLNUTS! [Newsmax]

NewsMax just shot out a breaking news e-mail bulletin: USS Gerald Ford Needs Your Help! Of course, there is no USS Gerald Ford, which is why it needs your help so bad. MORE »

Forgotten scumbag Dick Morris has finally given us a reason to support Hillary in ‘08: He says he’ll leave the country if she wins! MORE »

Is there a better War On Christmas gift than a remaindered $4.99 copy of Ann Coulter’s latest jabberings? Why yes, there is! NewsMax is now offering these beautiful old-people pajamas — or coats or jogging suits or? — free with a subscription to NewsMax! MORE »

What if you hate your relatives in a more direct way? Then here’s the “War on Xmas” gift that will make your sentiments perfectly clear: an old Ann Coulter book from the remainders warehouse. Plus, this gift totally keeps on giving, because NewsMax will also mail your victim four crazy newsletters about Mexicans. MORE »

It’s like Godzilla vs. Mothra, only it’s even less clear who to cheer against! MORE »

Respected online journal NewsMax recently spoke about the war in Iraq with noted foreign policy expert Gary Sinise. In the “wide-ranging interview,” Sinise: MORE »

Thank god someone’s demonstrating a little skepticism. Thunderbird also warns us when you send in ridiculous rumors about real celebrities moving here. MORE »

As subscribers to wingnutty NewsMax.com’s “newsletter,” we’re used to a fair amount of spam that seems spawned from late-night talk radio and the back pages of comic books: Mostly ads for Regnery books and gold investments scams. Today, however, delivered something a little different:

Gives a certain, not-entirely-surprising insight into the NewsMax demographic, no? As for the advice itself, it seems targeted to either the kind of guy who lives alone in a cabin in the woods with a collection of firearms or the kind of guy who wishes he lived alone in a cabin in the woods with a collection of firearms. Both kinds of guys would like a pretty, pliant ladyfriend to keep the cabin tidy:

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted “nice” guys?…I realize that this doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, and it’s hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT.

More Dr. Bonner’s-type screedy “advice” after the jump.

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