newark

So here is a fine kettle of Ichthys — as we mentioned a couple weeks back, John J. Myers, the Archbishop of Newark — which is a pretty fun title to say, we’ll admit — is building himself a new wing on the Barbie’s Dream Bishop Retirement Home, to the tune of half a million […]

Hey, remember the story about the German “Bling Bishop” who got suspended after everybody was outraged by the $55 million cost of renovating his personal residence? Right here in U.S. America, we seem to have our own version of an archbishop who’s a little like that, too, though on a smaller scale. Take a look […]

Here’s your Nice Time video for the day: Newark Mayor and Senator-Elect Cory Booker officiating at the city’s first same-sex weddings, marrying nine couples just after midnight, when New Jersey joined the rest of the 21st century. Did everything go seamlessly? Of course not: some asshat protester decided to Make A Statement, and was crushed […]

Well, everyone is saying that there were no winners last night, just because the GOP caused about $24 billion in economic harm so that John Boehner could get more MyFace friends from the Tea Party. Worth it. Well, everyone is WRONG. There was a clear winner last night, and it was the Strippers Union! Per […]

Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller, everyone’s favorite home for racists who can’t read good and stuff, has quite the little scoopty scoop, and that is that Cory Booker, who is a better human being than you, is NOT a better human being than you, because of how he is LYING about living in Newark, according to […]

OMG you guys, did you hear that Cory Booker might be gay? Well, actually, what he said was that he wasn’t necessarily ruling out the possibility that he may or may not be gay, or straight, or something! In an interview with the Washington Post, Booker said that since he has not yet acquired a […]

Newark Mayor Cory Booker, the caped-crusading, embattled-cat recovering, amateur fireman, Mr Plow come to life, twitter-master and media darling, won the Democratic primary for New Jersey’s open Senate seat yesterday despite a big ol’ Hate-On from liberal writers everywhere, including our own erstwhile wonkets. But why all the hate, haters?

Over the weekend, we told you about a New York Times hit piece on Tall Column of Chocolate Love Cory Booker, and how reporter Kate Zernike did not seem to be doing herself any favors by ending it with a steaming dump of DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Now, thanks to HuffPo, we are […]

We guess Newark Mayor Cory Booker sighed too much in his presidential debate with Texas governor Jorge Boosh, because the New York Times has decided he is a big giant asshole! Meow, says the Times’ Kate Zernike, Cory Booker spends a quarter of his time out of town (getting $100 million grants for his city […]

America, have you enjoyed your Cory Booker? He has been your American superhero, your bright shining full-of-integrity star in the awful firmament of American politics. He saves ladies from burning buildings. He has a Gosling-style tumblr dedicated to him. He scored free Hot Pockets for America, or at least for Newark. He’s just like you, […]

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, “Cory Booker Hey Girl” (much more sneaky than two short weeks ago, when Lena Dunham explained the importance of losing one’s virginity […]

Cory Booker may finally have put an end to his reign atop the infamous criminal syndicate of Newark, New Jersey, with a brazen B&E in front of multiple witnesses. The Democrat “mayor” has admitted entering a building without permission of its owners and forcibly carrying out a woman who was inside. He claims the building […]

“Why hello, 2004, we had almost (thankfully) forgotten about you,” was our first reaction to the news that Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign has a new “celebrity” champion in Joseph Antonio “Fat Joe” Cartagena, who at one point made a lot of suburban middle school dance chaperones nervous with his funny lyrics about the act of […]

REMAINDERS  11:20 pm March 23, 2006

Remainders: For the Record

by dlat