“No one would do such a cover of McCain, playing into the most damaging rumors, but imagine this: a jaunty young John, in his pilot uniform, sitting comfortably and chatting with his Vietnamese captors. Two gorgeous gals serve his every wish. He is smoking a cigar and drinking a martini. In the next room other POWs are being intensively interrogated. Ha ha, Republicans?” [Cover by Jeremy Glass, inspired by Blorts and Lew Rockwell ... wait, what?]

• WAH WAH WAH: Barack Obama, speaking to popular ladies’ magazine Glamour: “Everybody who knows Michelle knows how extraordinary she is. She’s ironically the most quintessentially American woman I know. She grew up in a ‘Leave it to Beaver’ family.” So this is your story, Hussein? Then maybe you can explain that candid photograph of her on the cover of the latest New Yorker magazine. [Glamour via LA Times]

Why does Barack Obama hate the nation’s hard-working comedians, satirists and cartoonists? That’s the important question teevee-industry reporter Bill Carter is asking today, in a New York Times piece complaining that nobody can make fun of Hopey because of hope, change, and racial transcendence. Yet the rednecks and racists are free to peck out their ALL CAPS emails and blog comments about how Barack Hussein Osama and his wife Angela Davis the Black Terrorist will turn America into some unimaginable place where black people aren’t slaves. MORE »

Have you heard about Tina Brown’s provocative New Yorker cartoon magazine? Well, some wacky kids in Georgetown claim to have found some rejected Barack Obama cover illustrations, such as this one, showing the Maoist basketball Soviet with his Nazi car loaded with change he stole from Christian collection plates, in Pennsylvania. [Georgetown OTR]

Who cares about the stupid New Yorker cover? It just makes the silly-sallies at the Obama campaign look like, uh, silly-sallies, and makes the New Yorker look terribly unfunny, which it is, except for that Anthony Lane who is a stitch. No, the New Yorker is a not a comedic but a Journalistic magazine — and it can also help you figure out your summer vacations plans! Since you all have no homes or money, consider spending your “staycation” this way: roll yourself in a barrel down the street to your nearest public library with free Internet access, go to NewYorker.com and spend an ENTIRE WEEK reading Ryan Lizza’s 15,000-word — that’s 15 internet pages! — opus on Barack Obama’s Chicago days. What fun! We heard that Barack Obama threatens to kick someone’s ass in the piece, and since we are Dumb Americans, we found this juicy bit and read nothing else. MORE »

Want to freak yourself out? Watch this nice video with Uncle Sy Hersh, where he gives the condensed run-down on his latest terrifying New Yorker article. The best part is right at the end, where Hersh sort of smiles and shrugs and says, Yeah, if Obama’s elected Bush will bomb Iran before he’s out of office; if McCain’s elected Bush will let the new president bomb Iran whenever he feels like it. Jesus. [YouTube via Informed Comment]

Mean old Congressman Rahm Emanuel, speaking at the elitist New Yorker Conference today, pretty much said that Obama is the nominee. Since Rahm Emanuel is a Democratic Leader, this was big news. But since he is an undecided superdelegate who — like others — could just END THIS RACE RIGHT NOW PLEASE, he refused to do this and retracted his statement through a catty little spokesperson. MORE »

WE ALSO USED TO LIKE BILL CLINTON: “The headquarters of my foundation is in Harlem …. My Presidential library and school of public service are in Arkansas …. I try to save this generation of children from the epidemic of childhood obesity …. I am working on rebuilding the Katrina area in New Orleans …. I have major global-warming projects in cities all around America …. Most of the time I am out in America on the street …. I once gave a speech to a million people in Ghana.” [New Yorker]

• Nothing gets a candidate ready for some swiftboating like putting up with Hillary Clinton. [Headline Junky]
• Hey, look! Barry Obama can beat Hillary Clinton and still have time to do more international diplomacy than the State Department. [Horserace]
• Having a hard time sourcing rumors about Hillary dropping out of some upcoming races to attack Barry from the sidelines? Go figure! [Hot Air]
• Hey look who writes fiction! Just like the New Yorker! [IMAO]
• Fred Thompson’s campaign ruined his campaign. [Michelle Malkin]
• Mitt Romney: friend of the billionaire. [MoJo]
• Larry David killed people in New Hampshire today. [Fresh Intelligence]

“They [the source's institution] have ‘instructions’ (yes, that was the word used) from the Office of the Vice-President to roll out a campaign for war with Iran in the week after Labor Day; it will be coordinated with the American Enterprise Institute, the Wall Street Journal, the Weekly Standard, Commentary, Fox, and the usual suspects. It will be heavy sustained assault on the airwaves, designed to knock public sentiment into a position from which a war can be maintained. Evidently they don’t think they’ll ever get majority support for this–they want something like 35-40 percent support, which in their book is ‘plenty.’” [New Yorker]

Bob “the other Kerry” Kerrey is quoted in one of those long “what’s the point” New Yorker articles about Bill Clinton. Make of it what you will:

If I were running for President, you can bet that I’d want Bill Clinton as my spouse — even if it meant a change in sexual orientation! He’s good at everything.

Seriously, make of it what you will, because the whole thing is making us a little queasy. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Fox News will not stage a party after the Radio & Television Correspondents Association Dinner. . . White House to host small “social dinner” tomorrow night to celebrate Ben Franklin’s 300th birthday. [WP]
* Under the Dome: “Law & Order” plot line strikes the GOP the wrong way. . . Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.) and Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.) seek temporary memorial in the Capitol Rotunda for soldiers killed in Iraq. [The Hill]
* Page Six: New book claims that Laura Bush took “hormone adjustment” to conceive twins. . . Blind item asks, “Which political reporter attends so-called ‘circuit parties’ while flying high on ecstasy?” [NYP]
* Inside the Beltway: Ben Bradlee is visiting the South Pacific for The New Yorker. . . PETA wants Antonin Scalia to stop killing fish. [WT]
* Rush & Molloy: Giuliani hits the ground in Iowa. . . Photos of Pataki’s daughter downing tequila land on the Internet. [NYDN]

Last week’s guessing game involved the anonymous sources quoted in Jane Mayer’s New Yorker article about Alberto J. Mora and the stand he took against torture. Earlier today, we shared some guesses with you about two of the three sources mentioned. This item remains outstanding: MORE »