Man, we kinda liked this guy! He was (is?) dating that pretty gal from the Clinton campaign, and he recently dared to say something not entirely positive about Jon Stewart, and hell, he is not Michael Bloomberg, all of which made him a refreshingly human-seeming type to run for New York Mayor. But he will not do this thing, for several reasons. MORE »

If you want to weather the recession in style, there’s no better bet than serving our nation’s ever-diminishing population of wingnuts. As more Americans climb aboard B-Rock NObama’s Socialism ‘n’ Poetry Jams Express, frustrated conservatives have flocked to a few of the nation’s last reputable wingnut media outlets for soothing words about how right they still are about everything even if “the news” says they’re wrong. MORE »

NEW YORK HALFWAY TO GAYSVILLE: Governor Paterson’s proposal to legalize gay marriage in New York has passed the State Assembly. Some Republicans even voted for it! Now it just has to be approved by the State Senate, which will be harder. [Politicker NY]

Remember when Barack Obama made 9/11 happen again with one of his “backup” Air Force Ones, just so a few schmucks could get tourist snapshots of such famous New York sights as the Muslim president crashing into the Statue of Liberty? Well no one even told Michael Bloomberg, the mayoral sprite of New York City, and he is furious! “Furious!” Barack Obama is the worst president in American history. [Clusterstock]

New York was TERRORIZED this morning by, guess who, Barack Obama and his Air Force One. People are still a little jumpy after that whole 9/11 thing, so when a huge passenger jet seemed to be headed for Lower Manhattan, and then for the Statue of Liberty, there was some freaking out. Why is Obama doing this to New York City? Seems he wanted a “cool picture” of his plane dive-bombing Lady Liberty! MORE »

• TEDISCO CONCEDES, MURPHY WINS: Late-night 9/11 masturbatrix Jim Tedisco has officially conceded the NY-20 Congressional race to PUMA leader Murphy. Congratulations, Murphy! [Capital News 9]

Jim Tedisco, Republican of New York, has apparently lost New York’s 20th congressional district special election to Scott Murphy. But, as it was pretty close, Tedisco and the Republicans contested some ballots and blah blah, the usual thing, and today — after such embarrassments as challenging the residency of Air America liberal radio host Sam Seder, who not only has his permanent residence in the district but served as a jury foreman there the week of the election — Tedisco is probably going to concede. MORE »

If getting double-teamed by James Carville and Paul Begala is not your “cup of tea bags,” then head on over to the eBay and have your credit card ready! Glenn Beck, dough-head wingnut star of Fox TeeVee’s Goin’ Nuts Again with Glenn Beck, is selling his puffy body and all its orifices, on eBay! For one glorious day, you can do whatever you want to Glenn Beck! We bet it’s for some weird cause like preventing gay marriage. You don’t have to marry him, jeez! Just do whatever you like. Put him on a dog leash, cum in his ears, re-enact that Two Girls, One Cup youtube, whatever. It’s your day. It’s your Glenn Beck. (Probably not legal to kill him, although who knows what the laws are in New York City, the way they are waging a campaign of brutality against Rush Limbaugh and all that.) [Teablogging.net/eBay]

Governor David Paterson is pissed that Iowa and Vermont look more progressive than New York, so he is fixin’ to change that by introducing an exciting and controversial gay marriage bill to the surprisingly conservative New York State Assembly. It is much like the exciting and controversial gay marriage bill that Governor Eliot Spitzer introduced a year before he had to leave office for having adulterous heterosexual sex with a female hooker. What incipient scandal awaits Governor Paterson? [City Room Blog]

Once upon a time, a Democrat and a Republican vied for the seat in the House of Representatives newly vacated by a gun-totin’ conservodem who turned into Senator Hillary Clinton. The individual contenders in this race did not matter so much, because national Democrats and Republicans got involved and suddenly it was a REFERENDUM ON CHANGE. Who would emerge the biggest loser, President Obama or RNC Chairman Michael Steele? MORE »

Eliot Spitzer was on the Today show this morning to chat with Matt Lauer about that time the latter fought a deer with his bike, and lost. Now look, jokes about how Eliot Spitzer made it with all the ladies are not funny anymore, at all (although it is funny in this interview when Matt Lauer basically asks Spitzer how many hookers he’s sexed, specifically). Spitzer is smart and goddamnit he should have another job! He should still be running New York! Total FBI-Wall Street conspiracy set-up with this guy, maybe. [MSNBC/Salon]