Wonkette

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters]

DRUNK, ILLEGITIMATE BABY-MAKING CONGRESSMAN IS PITIFUL: According to the New York Daily News, still-active Rep. Vito Fossella of New York, who likes to get drunk and make babies with women who aren’t his wife, is “hiding out in a tiny apartment above a garage at his sister’s Staten Island house.” [NYDN]

We forgot, do we like Michael Bloomberg or not? What’s the line on this guy, now that he’s not annoyingly running for president anymore? Although he’s no Bill O’Reilly, Bloomberg certainly has his pet peeves, the biggest of which is the world “maintain.” That word does not transcend race, at all. [YouTube via NY Observer]

FOSSELLA TO RESIGN? Drunken Congressman Vito Fossella, who has a 3-year-old illegitimate child, will apparently resign within 72 hours. And that will be the end of New York City’s only Republican congressman. [WNBC 4]

It has not been a very good week or so for Drunk Congressman Vito Fossella (R-NY). Last week he was arrested in Northern Virginia for drunk driving. He was in Northern Virginia to go see his family, he told police — his secret OTHER family, that is! He acknowledged today that he had a child out of wedlock who is now three years old. So apparently he only visits that one while drunk? He has apologized to his wife and three “real” children, who unfortunately live in Staten Island, with him. [AP]

This is a photograph of the American President giving an important address while Our National Hero Eli Manning stands behind him and picks his nose. Nothing else is happening in this picture. [AP Photo]

Rudy Giuliani has well-known problems reconciling his Catholic faith with his favorite hobbies: destroying fetuses, living with terrible homosexuals and cavorting around town dressed as an old-fashioned gal. Yet he took High Mass when Pope Ratzi visited New York recently even though the Pope surely hates him. The Archbishop of New York is so upset with Rudy’s participation in this ancient pagan ritual that he has issued a statement condemning Giuliani, who was mayor of the city when planes crashed into two of its buildings. Read the “ha-ha funny” statement below. MORE »

The end. [Reuters]

Last night after the Elton John concert, Terry McAuliffe — the former DNC chair and current overlord of the Hillary Clinton for President committee — rode a fucking mechanical bull, according to a Wonkette mechanical bull operative. She says it was approximately 1 a.m. after the show at Johnny Utah’s bar on West 51st St., “a place famous for having the only mechanical bull in Manhattan and for its regular bull riding challenges.” Drunkest man alive? If anyone else was there, please let us know how long he lasted and send photos of him face down on the ground, spitting dirt.

Even though Barack Obama took New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg out to breakfast a few months ago, gave a big fancy speech about Alexander Hamilton in Bloomberg’s back yard, and not-so-subtly hinted that he would appreciate at least a steak dinner in exchange for the reacharound, Bloomberg still refuses to go steady with Obama. MORE »