We all know that the ACORN organization — which has nothing better to do — is actively trying to steal the NY-23 special election from God’s candidate, Doug Hoffman, and give it to a randomly selected black aborted fetus on welfare, so it should come as no surprise that certain “local Democratic officials” (ACORN thugs) are calling the cops on Hoffman supporters outside polling locations for all sorts of ginned-up charges, as part of its ACORN Fear Campaign. MORE »

Now why’d he do this: “Political observers across New York are asking today whether Erie County Executive Chris Collins has irreparably damaged his prospects for statewide office after he compared Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver to Adolf Hitler and an Antichrist during a Saturday speech in Buffalo.” The best part is that Sheldon Silver is a Jew, and Jews are terrified of Hitler and Christians calling them Antichrists. No, wait. The best part is that Chris Collins meant this as a “joke,” when he called the Jew those awful names. No, wait. The best part is after the jump! Oh ho ho! MORE »

How do we know for sure that the secret third half of the Lucianne/Jonah Goldberg conspiracy is not actually K-Lo? Because Joshua actually wrote to Wonkette on Friday night, when we all know perfectly well that Fridays are Jonah and K-Lo’s “Moral Netflix & Fish Sticks Night.” MORE »

There are important rumors afoot that prosaic Slate columnist Eliot Spitzer will maybe try to hold an elected position again sometime soon. But which one? Any of them, really! State comptroller, let’s say. That’s a thing. Or maybe Kirsten Gillibrand’s Senate seat, because who even is she? MORE »

Anthony Weiner, the Democrat who infuriated many libtards by refusing to run for New York mayor and saying mean things about Jon Stewart once, can infuriate them all over again by officially taking one of the cutest, most shiny-haired Clinton staffers off the market. He proposed to Hillary Clinton’s best girlfriend Huma Abedin in late May and we just found out about it, because of … secrecy? Anthony Weiner is Dick Cheney in a pantsuit. [AP]

Time for a post about the New York Senate coup! QUICK BACKGROUND: Two Democratic state Senators made a “deal” ($$$$$?) to switch to the Republican side, giving the Republicans a majority, hastily. The Democrats then locked the Senate and claimed this was illegal, and it has been locked — as in, physically locked –for days, and the Republicans are threatening to hold session in a field or something if the Senate sergeant-at-arms doesn’t let them in, even though they have their own set of keys now. There was no (intended) simplification in this post. Oh, and the gays caused all of this, by wanting to get married. [Daily Intelligencer, NYT]

President Obama, in addition to his many duties as Illegitimate Muslin Overlord of the United States, runs a secret and lucrative sideline business importing the international meat delicacy known as “Guantanamo Bay manflesh.” His first import arrived in New York this week, and John Boehner does not like this one bit. MORE »

HE BELONGS TO THE ‘RE-ELECT MAYOR BLOOMBERG’ PARTY, OF COURSE: Nobody in New York knows which political party the chameleon plutocrat Michael Bloomberg belongs to, perhaps because he has slutted around with every party short of the LaRouchies. At various points Mayor Bloomberg has been registered as a Democrat and then as a Republican; these days he votes as a proud Green Party Communist Lesbian Furry, which is to say, an “independent.” [City Room]

It’s a week of the year in America, so that means it’s time for another wingnut local official to get busted for sending the hilarious racist emails to everybody. Meet Robert J. Weller, president of the Lewiston-Porter School Board somewhere in the sticks about 40 miles northeast of Albany somewhere north of Buffalo but it does not appear on any maps as it is not on Earth. Weller, who ran for the board in 2007 and came in fifth place and somehow got appointed to the the board anyway, because who even cares, apparently spends all his free time at home forwarding the funnies about the coloreds to “friends and fellow board members.” And, as usual, some worry wart P.C. libtards don’t get the joke. MORE »

Is that insanely cheap for commercial real estate? Seems like! Anyhow, the haunted million-square-foot carcass of the former AIG headquarters at 70 Pine and 72 Wall Street in beautiful New York City appears to have found a buyer for the bargain-basement price of $100 million. Who’s the lucky winner, Donald Trump? The Cato Institute? The buyers “would have been carefully vetted,” a source told the New York Post, from which we can conclude it’s just Tom Daschle wasting the last of his lunch money. [New York Post]

As periodic as the Indian monsoons are the indictments of Rudy Giuliani’s best friend, Bernie Kerik. He was nearly made the Secretary of Homeland Security in 2004, but then he had to withdraw his nomination on account of “nanny problems,” which is DC slang for “a closet so full of skeletons and crookery that he should rent out a storage unit, paid for by unsavory corporate interests.” MORE »