Tag Archives: new york times

  Some Men Just Want To Call The World Flat

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition

Holy nightmare fuel, Batman!
Most of the news today is predictably awful, so we will just skim it, thank you. Good god, you people aren’t actually relying on Yr Wonkette to be informed, are you? It looks like the government of Hong Kong is trying to avoid going all Tienanmen Square on pro-democracy protesters, so that’s a good thing. The federal government is trying to reach out to disaffected Muslim youth in America to prevent them from joining ISIS and other terrorist groups, a task which is made difficult by the fact that the government has done so much to treat American Muslims like pariahs (and American wingnuts keep calling for more). See the treatment of NPR’s Sarah Abdurrahman during a routine crossing from Canada back into the US last year for an example of actions that may be even more likely than AP History to make people hate this government. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition…
  Say It Ain't So Joe! OK: It Ain't So

Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass

They just know some things
Yesterday, we had a sad because The New York Times reported that the late Sen. Daniel K. Inouye was the unnamed senator who grabbed Kirsten Gillibrand’s stomach and warned her not to lose any more weight, because “I like my girls chubby.” But today, we’re much less worried that the deceased senator from Hawaii and WW II hero was the responsible party. Not because any new information has surfaced, but simply because Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski have decided they just don’t believe it, since Daniel Inouye obviously wouldn’t have done that. Thrill as the two MSNBC morning show hosts sift through the evidence: Read more on Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass…
  Can Willie Be Our Weed Sensei Too?

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Gets Pot Lessons From Willie Nelson Edition

This child can't stand Maureen Dowd either
With no single national calamity to focus on this week, the Sunday New York Times brings us mélange of Big Journalism on Important Topics, the general drift of which leads us to wish we’d stayed in bed. For starters, there’s another must-read piece by Elizabeth Rosenthal, whose specialty is digging into just why the American medical system manages to be the world’s most expensive even though it doesn’t actually cover everyone. No, not even under Obamacare, imagine that. This time out, Rosenthal looks at the phenomenon of surprise extra fees in hospital bills, which can come from seemingly anywhere. As reimbursement rates from both Medicare and private insurance have been cut, hospitals have been bringing in high-priced, out-of-network specialists to help with tasks that often used to be done by residents or other hospital employees. Take, for instance, Rosenthal’s lead example of Peter Drier, a guy who had back surgery that he thought he’d planned for financially, but which resulted in bills from both the surgeon he knew would do the operation (and who readily accepted Drier’s insurance reimbursement, about $6,200), and an “assistant surgeon” who charged just under $117,000 and would not negotiate on the cost: Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Gets Pot Lessons From Willie Nelson Edition…
  But Still More ISIS Than You Want

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Kinetic Action, Dead Saints, And Less ISIS Than You Might Think

In this alternate universe, the Sunday NYT has a comics section
Good morning, ye Wonkers! Today’s top story is that Yr Doktor Zoom is once again breathing through both nostrils. You may have thought that ISIS or Syria or sportsball scandals or something was big, but that is merely because you Lack Perspective. Sadly, your Sunday New York Times has completely ignored the press release we sent them, so we will just knuckle under and let them dictate what counts as “news” — this stubborn insistence on top-down story selection, by the way, is why their medium is dying. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Kinetic Action, Dead Saints, And Less ISIS Than You Might Think…
  Don't Read The Comments

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Child Labor’s Still Pretty Cool For Tobacco Growers

The best way to read your Sunday NYT
We depend on our Sunday New York Times for in-depth reporting on stuff that we may or may not care about, and on a good day we might even learn about something we had no idea we should have to care about, and now we can sound like a big know it all. Into that last column, let’s drop today’s story about teenagers who work 12-hour shifts on tobacco farms, like the 13-year-old we meet in the lede. But don’t worry, the growers provide safety equipment, of a sort: Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Child Labor’s Still Pretty Cool For Tobacco Growers…
  Sunday Bloody New York Times Sunday

At The New York Times, A Slow News Day

Fred Stein, 'Children reading newspaper' 1936
Things have quieted down in Ferguson and we have a holiday weekend, so the New York Times is full of analysis-type stuff today. There’s a pretty good piece on Democrats’ attempts to mobilize African-American voters who are outraged over Michael Brown’s shooting (and another story about that effort in Ferguson, specifically). There’s also longish story about the Chinese Communist Party’s attempt to prevent Hong Kong from doing free-n-fair elections, which is both well-reported and interesting, but which we bet you won’t read because it is not sexxay, you laggards. Go on, we dare you! You probably can’t handle it! The big breaking news of the morning, we guess, is the St. Louis Rams’ cutting Michael Sam, and if you read the New York Times for sports news, that’s in there too. Read more on At The New York Times, A Slow News Day…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat, Sorry ‘Bout That Nazi Pasta, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Who needs more coffee? And donuts? You, you over there, you were supposed to bring the donuts. BREAKING!!! Stop the presses (or the pixels, whatever): Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty. Now you know. Read more on Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat, Sorry ‘Bout That Nazi Pasta, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Mitt Romney Is STILL Never Going To Be President, Pot Saves Lives, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

It is a day. Of the week. Here is some news: Mitt Romney gave an interview to Hugh Hewitt. He promised really a lot that he is not going to try to not be president for a third time, really, he swears, unless the entire Republican Party that never liked him begs him to run and lose again, pretty please, with a cherry on top. That is not going to happen. People are talking about it anyway. He’s still not going to be president. The end. Read more on Mitt Romney Is STILL Never Going To Be President, Pot Saves Lives, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
 

You’ll Prefer Reading About Ebola Nurses Over Reading Maureen Dowd In The Sunday NY Times

Look, Mommy! Daddy has an analog tablet!
We’re still getting used to bringing you this New York Times roundup on Sundays, so bear with us. It’s a nice break from “Sundays With the Christianists” (which will be back at some point — there’s no shortage of material), but we’re still adjusting to writing about reality, as brought to you mostly by “reporters” instead of the fanciful Goddiddit tropes of our previous Sunday reading. Happily, for the fantasy element, we still have the columnists. Read more on You’ll Prefer Reading About Ebola Nurses Over Reading Maureen Dowd In The Sunday NY Times…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Paul Ryan Has A ‘Book,’ Bald Eagle Poop Isn’t Purple, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Good morning, everything is terrible again. Hooray, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-His Butt) has a new book out, called How I Learned To Stop Caring What Jesus Actually Had To Say Because I Sure Do Hate The Poors, or whatever he’s calling it, who cares? Courtesy of The Agenda Project Action Fund, please enjoy the original book cover above. You’re welcome. Read more on Paul Ryan Has A ‘Book,’ Bald Eagle Poop Isn’t Purple, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  It's Baaaaaack

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension

Mom always read the Times to us dring the Nixon administration
Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday is back, kids, and of course we have to start our perusal of the Newspaper of Record with its coverage of events overnight in Ferguson, Missouri. Not surprisingly, the midnight curfew declared by Gov. Jay Nixon yesterday didn’t exactly bring peace and quiet — demonstrations continued, the police fired tear gas, and seven demonstrators were arrested. Why the tear gas, after Capt. Ron Johnson had promised that it wouldn’t be used? At a press conference, Johnson Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension…
  clipbait

Neil deGrasse Tyson Brings Science, Anti-Sexism Together Like Chocolate And Boobs

You fucking love science. And you hate sexism at the New York Times! Well, here is Neil deGrasse Tyson to bring the two together like chocolate and boobs. See, this lady “scientist” (hahahaha as if) was being interviewed by the New York Times, and they were all like, whyfore no husband you are lesbian? This was a very popular question in the 1890s 1990s and 2000s, when everybody was asking hilariously unqualified W. Supreme Court nominee Harriet Meyers the same thing (to be fair, Meyers did have a mullet once). Read more on Neil deGrasse Tyson Brings Science, Anti-Sexism Together Like Chocolate And Boobs…
  don't fear the reefer

Bill O’Reilly Wants To Keep Pot Illegal For The Sake Of The Blacks And The Children

Pinhead
Giant forehead Bill O’Reilly got very upset with The New York Times this week because the Grey Lady’s editorial board decided to take a sane and rational position in favor of marijuana legalization. This upset old Loofah Bill because of the children, or the liberals, or The Blacks, or something. Bill’s not sure what he’s worked up about, just that if the Times is for it, he’s agin’ it! We think. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Wants To Keep Pot Illegal For The Sake Of The Blacks And The Children…
  go to baby jail go directly to baby jail

House GOP Has Final Solution For Border Children: Keep Them All In Baby Jail

You may be surprised to learn that the GOP wants to repeal and replace a thing, but this time they actually have a replacement for the thing they want to repeal! The thing they want to repeal and replace this time is DACA TVPRA*, the 2008 law signed by George W. Bush that says that children from places that are neither Canada nor Mexico can’t be summarily turned around at the border, but must have their day before an immigration judge to see whether they qualify for refugee status — and that while they’re waiting that year or decade, they can’t be put in Baby Jail, but must be held in the least restrictive way possible. The House GOP would like to know: where is the fun in that? And so they have come up with an alternative to the “president’s” stupid plan to add more guards to the border (which is where the children are being apprehended because of the lax security there) while also paying for some immigration judges, nurse practitioners and cheese sandwiches. Here is the GOP House’s alternative recommendation, you will never guess what it is! While there could be some last-minute changes, one of the recommendations will be that children should be detained until they see an immigration judge. Oh, we guess you probably did guess that. Weird. Read more on House GOP Has Final Solution For Border Children: Keep Them All In Baby Jail…
  persons attempting to find a moral will be banished

Maureen Dowd Is Meh About A Thing

Guys, we’re really sorry we haven’t gotten around to announcing the big tote-bag winners of our most recent photoshop and caption contests; we really will get to those soon, and you should believe us, because we are professional bloggers. But in the meantime, we have a REAL challenge for you: Can you find a point in Maureen Dowd’s Tuesday column about Barack Obama and technology? At least we think that’s what it was about. Maybe it was about him being feckless or something. All we could tell is that it was quite a few column inches of Maureen Dowd being vaguely displeased with how this president does things, but with no real criticism beyond the hazy sense that stage-managed presidential media appearances are insincere, and so maybe it would be better if Barack Obama had a holodeck. We think. Read more on Maureen Dowd Is Meh About A Thing…
  the words you're looking for are "Hey Susan Rice our bad"

Video That Had Nothing To Do With Benghazi Motivated Benghazi, Says Guy Who Led Attack In Benghazi

Now that President O’Bungler has finally had Benghazi mastermind Ahmed Abu Khattala arrested in an obvious bid to distract everyone from the blossoming scandal of daughter Malia landing a patronage job as a PA on a Halle Berry TV show, we can finally put to rest the big mystery of what exactly motivated a bunch of angry moose limbs to attack our consulate in the first place. Sure, the White House might have originally said they thought the attackers were angry over trollish Internet video “Innocence of Muslims,” and sure, the New York Times reported six months ago that the video did play a part in motivating the attack, but we all know the White House is full of lying liars who lie to cover their asses. So what say you, Mr. Evil Mastermind Khattala? Read more on Video That Had Nothing To Do With Benghazi Motivated Benghazi, Says Guy Who Led Attack In Benghazi…
  you can't dust for vomit

Maureen Dowd Just Wants To Get Hiiiiiiigh

Everyone is having a mighty fine laugh over that idiot Maureen Dowd, and how she had a bad trip on “the pot.” Oh ho ho, what an idiot, they are chortling, can’t even eat a delicious marijuana candy bar without curling into a ball and weeping for eight hours. It certainly couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Except it has happened to a nicer guy, and that nicer guy is me, your Editrix! (Shut up, bitchfuckers, I AM THE NICEST.) I stand with MoDo, today and … today. Only. Seriously, that lady is usually fucking useless. Do you think a Monica Lewinsky monster loomed over her in the pitch black of the Denver Hyatt, smacking its blood red lips? Read more on Maureen Dowd Just Wants To Get Hiiiiiiigh…
  Our Anger Hits New Highs Though

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Ross Douthat Hits A New Low Even For Him Edition

This week’s Times leads, like pretty much every other news source in America, with the release of American prisoner of war Bowe Bergdahl, imprisoned by Afghan insurgents for five years. Rather than be happy that our sole POW got to return to American soil, the GOP took this as an opportunity to whine about Obama. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Ross Douthat Hits A New Low Even For Him Edition…
  best comments since 'lorem ipsum'

Your Comment Of The Day Is Pure Wall-Punching Goodness

Hey, kids, you know what we haven’t done in a while? This very thing here, what we are doing right this moment: Wonkette’s Comment Win of the Afternoon, the feature where we heap praise upon an especially brilliant comment, which is odd, since Wonkette does not allow comments. Let’s see who our lucky winner of an “iPad” is! Read more on Your Comment Of The Day Is Pure Wall-Punching Goodness…
  a history of violence

At The Times, A Violent Wall-Punching Temper Causes Laughter And Joy

We all know Jill Abramson, the former executive editor of the New York Times, is a brusque, mercurial, pushy, difficult woman. And a liar. And sneaky. And a woman. And she had to go. She’d made her managing editor, Dean Baquet, real mad, see, by maybe or maybe not asking his permission to hire someone, which is a thing a lady boss is supposed to do when she is a lady. And, according to Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., the publisher of the Times, there were “patterns in the newsroom.” Pushy patterns. Mercurial patterns. Crazy bitchy broad patterns. And once Baquet made the “severity of his feelings” known, Sulzberger had no choice but to kick Abramson to the curb and give her job to Baquet. After all, Baquet is “likable and funny” and everyone “basically adores him” and “charming” and “funny” and “a class act” and “a calming personality” and he has a “friendly smile and deeply sympathetic soul.” Goddamn, the guy’s basically a saint. Unlike, you know, her. Oh, but then there is this: Yet Baquet acknowledges he too can become intense amid argument. I asked Baquet about maps that reporters said had been tacked up at the Times’ Washington offices to cover several holes he had punched in walls down there. He laughed and said, “it’s true. I should have a lawyer with me for this part, shouldn’t I? “I have a temper,” Baquet said, “In each case I was mad at somebody above me in rank. That’s not an excuse, but it’s a fact.” Gosh. That sure does sound charming and friendly and not AT ALL like the new executive editor maybe has some anger management issues that maybe are not appropriate for the newsroom or the workplace or, like, anywhere. He might have a deeply sympathetic soul, but filling a hole with his tiny fists of rage when he feels “intense” seems sort of … oh, one might say mercurial. Brusque. Dickish. Totally unacceptably violent. But hey, like Baquet says, “Leaders have to make tough decisions.” Guess sometimes walls just need to be punched. Read more on At The Times, A Violent Wall-Punching Temper Causes Laughter And Joy…