Wonkette

Here is that guy from the famous “Hillary In The House” videos, as spotted by Rumproast’s “Kevin K.” outside Hillary’s fake New York City rally Tuesday. We know his name now, and it’s “Paul Edward Blaise McClure,” a fine Christian Name, verily. “McClure” was giving out fliers at the event, too, and guess what? He’s puttin’ on a show! Check out the invite after the jump. All of Wonkette’s New York City operatives are required to attend. MORE »

Well first and foremost a big fist-bump to old Hillary Clinton, who has won the great state of South Dakota, her 50th state victory of the season, and now she leads Obama by 20 million popular votes and infinity delegates. Why are the media and its blacks trying to push her out of the race, knowing this? Let’s see what Hillary has to say about her Pyrrhic Victory, and beyond. MORE »

On-again, off-again douchebag New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman was pleasantly trenchant in his column on the “gas tax holiday” yesterday, in which he proved in eight or nine different ways why John McCain is a traitor for proposing this. A CNN anchor brought up Friedman’s column with McCain today, and McCain comically called Friedman a gay New York rich liberal pinko elitist. And then he felt bad and said he loves Thomas Friedman. What gives? We’re hearing that his campaign advisers forgot to give him his strawberry cream cheese-coated “Remembrall” this morning. MORE »

OFFICERS CLEARED IN SEAN BELL CASE: Three police detectives found not guilty. “They got away with murder,” says one member of the crowd outside the Queens Criminal Court Building. [NYT]

A hobo in New York came across SECRET/ CONFIDENTIAL plans for the new World Trade Center buildings in some trash can in SoHo. “Experts said the detailed, floor-by-floor schematics contain enough detail for terrorists to plot a devastating attack. ‘Secure Document - Confidential,’ warns the title page on each of the two copies of the 150-page schematic that a homeless, recovering drug addict discovered in the public trash can.” Phew, good thing this hobo wasn’t Osama! It sure requires intense knowledge of the circuit boards in the building when you’re planning to blow it up with a 747. Now that hobo can enjoy being famous, in Guantanamo Bay. [NY Post]

Today is New York City’s “Poem in Your Pocket Day,” the most elitist holiday in America (besides San Francisco on any given Friday). And the latest America’s Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has penned a glorious poem for his pocket in celebration. It is called “Press Conference,” and the gist of it is that Press Conferences are terrible. It rhymes too! How post-postmodern. MORE »

You know that attractive lady, the Obama Girl? Well, like most attractive ladies, she is a complete liar. Obama Girl, nee “Obama Girl,” is a registered voter in New Jersey — where she most certainly didn’t vote for anything yesterday. According to Obama Girl, she was at an “election-watching party in Greenwich Village,” a famous gay community in New York City, and couldn’t get back to her Jersey hellhole in time to vote. Watch out for the pretty ones, Barry — they’ll break your heart every time. [City Room]

On April 4, 1967, Martin Luther King Junior delivered a famous speech at Riverside Church in New York City, his first to overtly tackle the Vietnam war. This was exactly — to the day — a year before he was shot and killed. He didn’t like the direction in which America was heading, and today we celebrate his birth by letting a bunch of people take days (you) or half-days (me) off from work. So maybe ponder these words from Riverside as you watch another Dr., like Dr. Phil, on the teevee. As you kill the day:

It is a sad fact that because of comfort, complacency, a morbid fear of communism, and our proneness to adjust to injustice, the Western nations that initiated so much of the revolutionary spirit of the modern world have now become the arch anti-revolutionaries…. If we will make the right choice, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our world into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. If we will but make the right choice, we will be able to speed up the day, all over America and all over the world, when justice will roll down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream.

Now go plant a tree, or maybe build a friendly fence. Just leave the Internet for the afternoon. When you come back, it will be as it always was.

Three of the worst things in the world — Paultards, New York City and Republicans — combined Tuesday in a digital fantasy world known as the “Metropolitan Republican Club” to vote in the New York State Republican Straw Poll. The results were announced yesterday, and it’s clear that some alien spambots must have hacked into the voting system. MORE »

Remember that crazed dipshit of a New York City Councilman, James Oddo? You know, the one who kept telling a Norwegian comedian to get the fuck out of his office after she made a few jokes. Well Oddo never told us that he was quite the jokester himself! Try this kneeslapper: He wants to put pigeons on birth control! MORE »