new york city

George Carlin, like Kurt Vonnegut and Isaac Asimov, is up in heaven now. And he is almost certainly looking down at New York City and preparing twenty minutes of standup for all his fellow atheist angels on this story: after three years of negotiations to name a street after him, “George Carlin Way” is finally […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we steam-clean our browser tabs and scrape together all the stories that weren’t worth their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. We recommend you numb yourself against the dumbassery that is sure to follow. Our Top Derp for this week comes […]

Earlier this month, New York mayor Bill de Blasio said he was going to skip the drunkest parade ever, the NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade, because that parade will let the gays be marchers as long as they don’t in any fashion say that they are gay, because ewwwww. Both Rudy Giuliani and Michael Bloomberg […]

Over 100 former New York City employees, mostly police, have been charged in a huge scheme to collect undeserved disability benefits, many of them claiming they were suffering from psychological effects of the 9/11 attacks. Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus R. Vance Jr. said “The brazenness is shocking.” More than 100 people were arrested, including 72 […]

These were anxious days in the suite of rooms above Manhattan that Peggy Noonan called home. First there was the arctic blast of a snowstorm that swept into the city and shut down everything, the air so cold the gin froze right in the bottle the minute she carried it out of the Upper East […]

Many of you were probably too hung over on Wednesday to remember that it was the day Bill de Blasio was inaugurated as mayor of New York City. It was a wonderful and festive day, though perhaps tinged with fear at what the city’s future in the grip of this mad Communist dictator may be. […]

New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg is something of a dick. This is not a “new” experience for New Yorkers, who have in their infinite wisdom elected Rudy Giuliani, Ed Koch, and, hrm, other people, we don’t know, LaGuardia seemed nice? ANYHOO. Ol’ Bloomberg up there is just cold runnin’ around, takin’ Sarah Palin’s Big Gulps, […]

The last time we saw Thomas Lopez-Pierre, he was writing a pretty awesome letter about Jews. He loved boning Jewesses! He once saved some Hasidic kids by going after other black kids with a broken bottle! He remembers that Jews helped out in the ’60s civil rights fights! He just didn’t like it when Jews […]

Ahem: WestView News publisher George Capsis slapped a young man several times across his face during an 11:30 a.m. rally [for New York mayoral candidate Christine Quinn] at the base of St. Vincent’s Hospital, according to witnesses. Well, we are sure that happens all the time, right? Sadly, yes!

Hey ladies! Are you looking to go to college, Lean In, and really get ahead in this world? Perhaps you are from a predominantly Muslim country and you are trying to break glass ceilings over there so we don’t have to break glass ceilings over here, something something mixed metaphors. Well, if you are one […]

New York Mag has a nice little roundup today of mayoral hopefuls’ reactions to the greatest question facing New York City today: before a mohel completes the “beautiful ancient ritual” of sucking the blood off your baby’s weiner, should you have to sign a consent form acknowledging that this practice has led to babies getting […]

The New York Times Magazine gets the fascinating in-depth interviews with disgraced former Jockey model Anthony Weiner and his lovely and graceful wife, Huma Abedin. At the end of May in 2011, Clinton joined President Obama for an official trip to London, ending with a state dinner at Buckingham Palace. “And for some unbelievable reason,” […]

Thomas Lopez-Pierre, who is running for the New York City Council, has done wrote a doozy of a letter about how he loves boning Jewesses (he doesn’t say so, but it is totally because we got boobs), and once tried to slash the throats of some other black kids (with a broken bottle!) who were […]

We have spent some time during this journey through our worldly vale of tears defending the gargantuan mansions of both Albert Gore and Husband of the Millennium John Edwards. You know, stuff like, “Hey, John Edwards made those kajillions helping people get justice and also eat shit Tucker Carlson just on principle” and “Al Gore […]

So, simply because enough fucking people are not already TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAMN SODAS, here is this thing: Mississippi’s legislature has overwhelmingly passed and sent to Governor Lardstick McGoober a bill that will explicitly ban any municipality from discouraging its citizens from eating like gross disgusting pigs, for FREEDOM. The law, informally known as the […]