Tag: new york city

Hollywood Pees On Donald Trump’s Golden Rug. Wonkagenda for Monday, January 9, 2016

Senators are gearing up for confirm-a-palooza, K street is being flooded by Trumpkins, and Meryl Streep leaves Trump with butthurt. Your morning news brief!

New York Would Like Some Money For Donald Trump’s Security, Please. First Bill: $35 Million, Cheap!

You'd almost get the impression a highrise office/residential tower in the middle of Manhattan is a lousy place for an alternative White House.

Kellyanne Conway Really Needs A Job! Wonkagenda for Tuesday December 6, 2016

Get in here and read your morning News Brief in your new briefs. Or whatever, we don't judge.

Donald Trump Only Wants Stop-And-Frisk In Chicago, Where The Blacks Are

Settle down, frightened white residents of Dubuque. He didn't mean YOU!

Donald Trump Just As Excited About Chelsea Bombing As You’d Imagine

Trump's probably pretty sure this is good news for Trump!

America Finally Gets Chance To See Donald Trump’s Penis, Immediately Vomits To Death

Mean New York City took the statue away, but you can still enjoy Trump's tiny penis in other places.
As predicted by Nostradamus and anyone who knows Donald Trump

How Can Donald Trump Cut Taxes When He Already Doesn’t Pay Any?

Donald Trump appears to have a long history of income tax avoidance. Yeah, you could knock us over with a feather.
Ah, the good old days!

Humanitarian Donald Trump Tried To Open A ‘Homeless Shelter’ To Drive Out Tenants. What a Guy!

Let's look back in time at one of Donald Trump's early exploits in sleazy deal-making. Or as he called it, humanitarianism. It coincidentally would have benefited Donald Trump.

Surprise! Banning Tipping Doesn’t Work. Could There Be Another Solution Entirely?

Remember how restaurants have seemed to be steadily moving towards banning tipping? Yeah, not so fast on that one. Back in November 2015, Joe's Crab Shack announced it was going to be testing out a no-tipping model at 18 select...

New York Mayor Bill De Blasio Suggests Not Cramming Your Throat With Gay-Hatin’ Chick-Fil-A

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio suggests you boycott the homo-haters at Chick-Fil-A. Wingnuts, as always, outraged.

Antarctica Set To Drown Louisiana Dead By 2100, So There’s A Good Reason To Drink

Sad news about the global warming hoax, you guys. Turns out that the liberal scientists are so committed to their big lie that they're going to go down to Antarctica and melt all the ice, which will cause the...

White Castle Officially Wins Contest For Dumbest Thing Said About Minimum Wage

Another day, another fast food company saying a terrible, extremely stupid thing about rising wages. Surprise! This time, the stupid thing in question is being said by an executive from White Castle, that restaurant your insufferable NY friends (as if...
Thanks, Bern. I'll Snapchat you later

Hillary And Bernie About To Do Fisticuffs One More Time, Please God Let This Be The Last Time

WHOA HEY it's been a minute since we've had one of these debate-styley things! But things have been getting super UGLY in the Democratic race, so they need to do this again, obviously. Bernie was like "I CHALLENGE YOU...
Gahhh! But not forgotten.

Everybody Hates Ted Cruz, Even New York City School Children

I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way ... Ted Cruz came to New York Wednesday talking about education, but he’s the one who got schooled. Show them all the beauty they possess...

Donald Trump’s Crimes Against Food Cannot Go Unanswered

Donald Trump is a horrific amalgamation of spray-tan contents, bile, and discarded golden retriever hair -- on this, we can all agree. He's advocated for war crimes, spoken out against the First Amendment, and committed atrocities against decency almost...

Ted Cruz Takes Bold Stand Against Donald Trump Murdering People

Two or nine or five and a half Republican debates ago, all the little not-Trump GOP candidates pledged they would support whoever their party's nominee is, even if it is nasty, terrifying, tremendous, tic-tac-dick Donald Trump. Ted Cruz specifically...