new york
Nice Time! High School Votes Adorbs Guys ‘Cutest Couple’
Here are Bradley Taylor and Dylan Meehan of Carmel, New York, a couple of nice young men who were voted “Cutest Couple” in their high school yearbook. Thanks to that news, they are also one of those Internet Sensations we hear tell of, and at least in the early phases, they seem to be weathering [...]
Donald Trump Reminds Us: Black People Not Allowed In Park
Hey, there is a really big national story going down right now — you know what that means! It’s time for the snide, slithering publicity slug that is Donald J. Trump to attempt to expand his shit-stain of public influence by gurgling up trite, inaccurate pond-spooge and passing it off as legitimate social commentary. This [...]
Do YOU Live in the ‘Least Free’ State in the Country?
Your Wonkette loves a fun fact, so we were thrilled to learn that a new study has revealed the “least free” state in the nation. Who can guess which state has the most FEMA concentration camps per capita? Twenty points and a bag of Bill O’Reilly’s used loofahs to the winner! Let’s first review the [...]
GQ’s Michael Wolff Will Never Get A Table At The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe (Updated!)
Updated! TWICE!! Let us now consider the case of Michael Wolff, a mindless jerk who’ll be first up against the wall when the revolution comes. While most ape descendants on this insignificant little blue-green world struggle to keep themselves fed and sheltered, Michael Wolff has written an essay for the UK edition of GQ about [...]
NYPD Rescues New Yorkers From Seven-Year-Old School Child
Being a kid these days must be really horrible. If you do something stupid, one of two things seems to happen: 1. a photograph of you doing this stupid thing will be made available on line and disseminated throughout the internets, making it impossible for you to get a job when you are older (not [...]
What Else Should Be On New York Restaurant’s $2000 Plate Of Pasta?
Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post brings us news of the beginning of the French Revolution the War of Poor Aggression. A high-end Midtown restaurant is serving up the city’s priciest plate of pasta — a $2,000 dish of homemade tagliolini complete with fresh lobster and black truffles and served on a gold-leaf platter designed by [...]
New York State’s Senate Remains Comically Dysfunctional, By The Way
Ha ha, guys, remember the summer of 2009, which was before the 2012 elections that made liberals so cocky and even before the 2010 elections that made conservatives so cocky? It was after the 2008 elections, which made liberals so cocky! Among other things that happened in ’08, the New York State Senate, which had [...]
New York D.A. Busted Starring In Nudie Lewdie Dix Flix
In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the cops who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys who star in Deep Throat Part II: The Bonening. A district attorney in upstate New York has admitted that he acted in pornographic movies in the 1970s then lied when [...]
Cool Republican Bro Had Fun Spreading Dumb Fake Hurricane Rumors Last Night
Good morning, New Yorkers! We hope that you are reading these words right now, because that means you have power and Internet access and probably are in your own home, which we sincerely hope is not soggy and gross! Last night was pretty bad for New York, but we know that not everyone can be [...]
Crown Heights Cops Tenderly Wake Sleeping Homeless Dude With Their Fists
Here is the hilarious punchline for today’s zany escapades of the Crown Heights Coppers: the dude they woke, harrassed, and then beat the fuck out of and pepper-sprayed for sleeping in a synagogue had permission to be sleeping in that synagogue all along.
The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!
Last year, it took Occupy less than three weeks to reallocate $2 million in government-funded aid to working men and women in New York City, in the form of overtime pay to the city’s police department. This year, some in the movement hope to achieve this goal sooner — and judging from the police turnout [...]
Journalism Hero ‘Twitter’ Bravely Supports First Amendment, Dirty Hippies
Being an Incorporated American is kind of a mixed bag, as we are discovering. Since it is impossible to put Incorporated Americans in jail, or to put their logos and mascots in jail, the only way to punish an Incorporated American is to take away some of its money Speech. We learn this via a [...]
Newest Wonkette Pet Republican Diva Mindy Meyer Speaks!
Mindy Meyer, the 22-year-old supervixen running for New York State Senate, is the subject of this nice video from the Jewish Forward.
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