Tag Archives: new york

  A Noun A Verb A Dogwhistle

Rudy Giuliani: Hey, Did You Ever Notice Obama’s Not One Of Us? If You Know What I Mean?

9-11! Also, the blacks!
Apparently tired of being associated with competent mayoring on 9/11 and then never shutting up about it, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani seems determined to reframe his legacy. Why he’d decide that acting like the Second Coming of Lester Maddox is a bit of a mystery, though. At a private dinner for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Wednesday, Giuliani shared his suspicion that Barack Obama doesn’t really love America because he’s a weirdo foreigner. Giuliani was careful to note that he only pointed this out because he cares. Read more on Rudy Giuliani: Hey, Did You Ever Notice Obama’s Not One Of Us? If You Know What I Mean?…
  Don't believe the lies -- or the snow

Rush Limbaugh: Big Government Nanny State Controlling You Through Weather Warnings

His weather is just fine, thanks
While conservatives usually love a good snowstorm because it proves global warming is a hoax and Al Gore is fat, truth-seeking climatologist Rush Limbaugh is too smart to buy into the lies of such lefty media outlets as AccuWeather and the National Weather Service. He’s heard about this so-called Worst Snow Storm Ever, but he’s got a brilliant question about that, which you know is brilliant because he says his own self that “it is a brilliant question.” Are you ready for some brilliance? Brace yourselves: “How in the hell can a snow storm that hasn’t happened be historic?” Read more on Rush Limbaugh: Big Government Nanny State Controlling You Through Weather Warnings…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Snowmageddonghazigate Hits New York, Impeach … Someone

'I can't feel my hands'
Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show was of course all Snowmageddonghazigate, and they started the hour with Rachel freezing outside at Rockefeller Center. Happily, unlike Chris Hayes, who had to do his whole show outside, Rachel has enough star power to get herself back inside after the first commercial break, and so here she is telling us that she can’t feel her hands, and then getting down to the serious business of talking about how the only time one of America’s three biggest cities had a female mayor (Jane Byrne in Chicago) came to office largely because her predecessor just plain couldn’t handle the giant snowstorm of 1978. And so there is much talk of snow and politics, as well as file footage of then-Governor Michael Dukakis in a perfectly darling sweater. “He’s a Von Trapp!” Read more on Morning Maddow: Snowmageddonghazigate Hits New York, Impeach … Someone…
  Nice time except for anti-vaxxers

Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines

  Well, look who’s all “public health is still a thing!” A three-judge panel of the Second Circuit just upheld a New York state requirement that kids attending public schools must be vaccinated. Nice going, Second Circuit! But it is a tiny bit obnoxious that we are still discussing this issue, so let’s please grab onto some science and hang on to it really tightly! Read more on Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines…
  Notorious BDB

NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Does The Pot Like A Common Jazz Criminal, And The NYPD Is On It

Thanks to the NYPD’s recent unofficial work stoppage, it’s a great time to be a public urinator in New York. Loiterers are going shockingly unticketed and jaywalkers are free to ply their trade with impunity. There is, however, one suspected criminal in the city who’s getting plenty of police attention: Mayor Bill de Blasio. Read more on NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Does The Pot Like A Common Jazz Criminal, And The NYPD Is On It…
  Time to hide under the bed again

You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris

Wimpy tyrant dictator doormat Obama is refusing to call the terrorist attack in Paris a terrorist attack — except for how he did do that — but the omnipotent experts at Fox “News” know better. Not only was it a terrorist attack, but it was political correctness and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio what done it, because of political correctness and communism, THANKS OBAMA. Read more on You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris…
  Quiet Dignity Redux

NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops’ Solemn, Funereal Disrespect

The quiet dignity of a political stunt
Photo by Aymann Ismail, Animal New York Hundreds of NYPD police officers came together Sunday for the noble purpose of very publicly giving the finger to Mayor Bill de Blasio again, and we suppose they were also there for the funeral of murdered officer Wenjian Liu, too. As they had done last week at the funeral of Liu’s partner Rafael Ramos, large numbers of police standing outside the funeral hall turned their backs to video monitors as de Blasio began his eulogy. Police have decided that they hates the nasty de Blasio, hates him, because he personally ordered the deaths of Ramos and Liu by telling his son, who is black, to be very, very careful around police. Read more on NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops’ Solemn, Funereal Disrespect…
  Here have some news n stuff

Farewell To Democrats’ Favorite Imaginary Presidential Candidate Mario Cuomo

Mario Cuomo, the former governor of New York and the Cuomo Democrats actually really like, died on Thursday at the age of 82. He was from what kids these days might call the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party, before that was officially a thing: Read more on Farewell To Democrats’ Favorite Imaginary Presidential Candidate Mario Cuomo…
  If You Love Someone Let Them Go Wild

Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!

Fox & Klanz
Fox News resident Psychopath psychiatrist Keith Ablow has Thoughts on the murder of two policemen in New York City this weekend. (We’re quite certain you were waiting to hear from him before deciding what you think of the horrific killings.) In addition to calling on New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to admit his personal responsibility for the murders, Ablow also insightfully diagnosed calls for police to be equipped with body cameras and to be trained in methods for de-escalating tense situations as signs of a sick society, calling it insulting to the good judgment of Our Protectors, who have done such an excellent job of protecting us from whatever criminals aren’t in blue uniforms. Read more on Fox News ‘Psychiatrist’ Keith Ablow: COPS DON’T NEED TO CALM DOWN YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!1!…
  Dicktember Surprise

New York Pol: Hackers Made Me Follow That Porn Star On Twitter! HACKERS!!!

We were in a hurry, but you can still photoshop the sex toy of your choice in there.
Here’s a Dicktember item for your Likely Explanations bin: A county official in New York knows exactly why he’s “following” a porn star on his Twitter account: He was hacked! Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone, a Democrat, explained to the New York Post that nefarious hacker activity was the only possible reason his Twitter account shows him following porn actress Belle Knox’s twitter stream (link NSFW if you look around for a while. Message: we care). Read more on New York Pol: Hackers Made Me Follow That Porn Star On Twitter! HACKERS!!!…
  How About Nobody Kills Anyone? We Could Get Behind That

Rudy Giuliani To Obama: Stop Personally Murdering All The Cops, Right Now!

9-11! Also, the blacks!
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani placed the blame for the murders of two New York City policemen Saturday squarely where it belonged: on President Barack Obama, who had personally whispered “Go kill some cops” into the ear of Ismaaiyl Brinsley, a Baltimore man who killed himself after shooting the two officers, plus his girlfriend. (A lot of people keep forgetting about the girlfriend.) In an interview on Fox & Friends Sunday, Giuliani explained that the President and others had pretty much been calling for the killing of police ever since the August shooting of Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri: Read more on Rudy Giuliani To Obama: Stop Personally Murdering All The Cops, Right Now!…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Fans Of Killer Cops Can Breathe Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?

Back away, little pony. These are not nice people.
Time for another roundup of the dumbest of the worst of the unfathomably stupid! We scrape the mishegas off our browser tabs, puree it into a frothy mess, and serve it up to you with a warning to not overdo it on the brain bleach. Proceed with caution and gin. Read more on Derp Roundup: Fans Of Killer Cops Can Breathe Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?…
  The Poor Is Coming from Inside the Building

NYC Developers Not Losing Any Opportunity To Be Total Dicks

New York Post Times are tough for developers of luxury housing towers, with killjoys on city councils and planning commissions saying they can’t get massive tax breaks for building concrete-and-glass citadels for the wealthy without including some symbolic “affordable housing.” But who wants to pay three times as much for stainless appliances and rainfall showers only to take the elevator with coupon-clippers? Read more on NYC Developers Not Losing Any Opportunity To Be Total Dicks…
  You know who the REAL racists are?

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio Wants To Keep His Black Son Alive, What A Racist Jerk

Bunch of racists
Photo via Bill de Blasio Hippy-dippy socialist communist gay-loving crime-enabling New York Mayor Bill de Blasio just cannot stop being terrible for New York, the greatest nation that ever lived. Because de Blasio hates America, and New York, and police officers obviously, he has declared a race war in New York by giving his biracial son some riot-inciting advice about what to do in the highly unlikely event that he is ever stopped and/or frisked for blacking while black. Read more on New York Mayor Bill de Blasio Wants To Keep His Black Son Alive, What A Racist Jerk…
  Taxed To Death (Plus Some Asphyxiation)

Rand Paul Explains How Taxes Murdered Eric Garner

Not that he oversimplifies, of course.
As we’ve noted before about Rand Paul, he’s a big-picture guy. He doesn’t get bogged down too much in nuances when he can instead find the Important Libertarian Principle in any situation. He approaches every possible topic as if it were a late-night debate in a dorm room, which is how he can equate “not deporting people” with “putting people in internment camps” with a straight face, because both are examples of “executive overreach.” Read more on Rand Paul Explains How Taxes Murdered Eric Garner…
  Lapdances So Much Better When Strippers Have Living Wage

Strip Clubs Have To Pay Strippers, Unfair To Strip Clubs!

Still trying to wrap our heads around the 'George' thing.
Big labor news: Turns out that strip clubs can’t actually operate on the same principles as 19th century coal mines. A class action lawsuit against New York strip club Rick’s Cabaret awarded over $10 million in back pay to about 1,900 dancers the club had treated as “independent contractors.” Instead of paying wages to the dancers, the club actually charged them a fee for the use of its stage and private lapdanceatoria, according to the dancers’ attorney, E. Michelle Drake: Read more on Strip Clubs Have To Pay Strippers, Unfair To Strip Clubs!…
  Nearly was An Also-Ran

What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!

There's always 2016...
We know what you’re thinking. “Did the bizarro Illinois lady who said that autism, dementia, and tornados are God’s punishment for abortions and ghey marriage actually get elected to Congress?” This being the kind of election year that brought Joni Ernst and James Lankford to the Senate, you’ve got to ask yourselves: “Do I even want to know?” Well, do ya, punks? Let’s just see what happened to some of the more… colorful candidates last week (mostly, the color is red with vein-bursting rage). Read more on What Happened To The ‘Gays Cause Autism’ Lady? Your Fringe Candidate Roundup!…
  Nuke The Healthcare Workers From Orbit. It's The Only Way To Be Sure

Chris Christie Wants To Play Doctor With Nurse Lady, Mostly By Yelling At Her

Thank goodness you can't get Ebola from spittle
With no teachers immediately available to yell at, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has taken up yelling at nurses, we guess. In the latest twist on Chris Christie’s War On Health Care Workers Who Volunteer To Fight Deadly Diseases, the New Jersey Department of Health announced this morning that Kaci Hickox, a still-healthy nurse who returned to the U.S. and was clapped in irons for her own good Friday night, would be allowed to return home to Maine: Read more on Chris Christie Wants To Play Doctor With Nurse Lady, Mostly By Yelling At Her…
  Here have some news n stuff

One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now

Thanks Obama
That screaming hysteria you hear is the sound of everyone in New York being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! or at least making jokes about being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! because Ebola is real now. (You know the rule: It’s real when it happens in New York. The rest is prologue.) Read more on One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now…
  All Praise Carbon Dioxide!

Wingnuts Peeing Themselves In Hilarity Over Climate Change March, ‘Science’

That game kind of got into my head a few years back
New York City hosted a big Climate Change protest on Sunday, and that’s cool and all, because raising awareness and solidarity and all that. There were hippies and signs and moms with kids in strollers and probably big protest puppets, we bet, because we’re pretty sure those are required by Saul Alinsky. The march was held to draw attention to the United Nations Climate Summit beginning tomorrow, and in terms of concrete change, sure, it didn’t make the problem go away, and wingnuts all had a fine time calling the participants terrible hypocrites if they got to New York by any means other than a bicycle — and if they rode bicycles, then wingnuts mocked them for those silly spandex pants. Read more on Wingnuts Peeing Themselves In Hilarity Over Climate Change March, ‘Science’…