While the Main Stream Media (MSG) was wrapped up in the pointless, breathless, click-y coverage of Barack Obama serving beer to a Harvard professor, his vice president and some dumb mick cop, the real story was Obama’s secret meeting with the Chinese, as photographed here by Pete Souza’s spy camera. Why is Barack Obama giving our nation’s legacy (a basketball) to this combover fellow from China? [White House Flickr]

This is a bit old by “news” standards, but famous television celebrities “Heidi and Spencer,” who are probably not even real, just holograms from space, went on the Alex Jones radio show recently to discuss the New World Order. You care about this. We are only two minutes in, but have already heard Heidi say that as a “Christian” she knew about the Antichrist, but didn’t know “who it was,” until she learned it was Barack Obama, the end. [Clusterstock]

Former Nazi Youth and rancid pontiff Joseph Ratzinger has an important message for the agitated teabaggers of America: An even newer New World Order is on the way, and this one is going to be run by the Vatican — along with, we suspect, a 13-seat Council of Elders including Goldman Sachs, Barack Obama, Israel, Red China, NAFTA, Michele Bachmann (oh hell yeah she’s working for the NWO!), the IRS, let’s see and probably the Sierra Club, KFC-Taco Bell, NASA and the Carlyle Group. Hope you like FEMA camps! [New York Times]

A couple of years ago, Michele Bachmann was the most pro-government pro-president American Patriot in American History, because her beloved George W. Bush was the president, and she loved to stick her tongue right down his throat, and he bombed Arabs like every day, which was awesome. MORE »

Blogger Interrupted keeps going to wingnut events — Sarah Palin klan rallies, teabagging gatherings, etc. — and then the wingnuts complain that he made them look bad, because they stood there jabbering to somebody pointing a video camers at them, and whoops, they look like exactly what they are — ignorant racist tools — on the Internets! It’s probably the editing of the video, right? Right? [Blogger Interrupted]

Barack Obama’s goofy, hated British squire Gordon Brown gave a speech earlier as host of the G20 conference, which is already basically over. Boo! He mentioned that since all countries are screwed, because they’re connected, because of globalization, they have all agreed to kick in a few bucks for loans and shit. But then he said, “a New World Order is emerging.” OH NOES. There are already 10 million versions of this clip on YouTube. “we are freaking screwed,” writes YouTube user “spydat3k.” [YouTube]

A wingnut jesus-freak lady from our favorite online newspaper, World Net Daily, would like to share something with you — something she withheld from the American Public throughout the presidential campaign, even though she knew it was true, because she got some forwarded email saying it was true: At a business dinner in 1992, some Russian capitalist’s wife said the Communists had picked a new American president, a black guy from Hawaii/Africa named Barack! MORE »

Doctor President Ron Paul recently went on Alex Jones’ conspiracy theory radio show and said this, about Obama and the G-20 meeting (which caused terrible traffic in certain parts of DC last weekend, and nothing else): “A world central bank, worldwide regulation and world control of the whole system, of all the commodities and all the natural resources, what else can you call it other than world government?” MORE »

Hey Mexico, WTF? Today is supposed to be the magical day of Expecto Petraeus! And tomorrow’s the big 9/11 celebration, okay? What is with you people having some kind of Star Wars-esque rebellion attacking the gas pipelines and crazy semi-trucks full of dynamite blowing up on the highways and killing 34 people? MORE »

It’s time for our great new daily feature, Weird YouTube Hillary Stuff. Today, we see that a shadowy organization of globalists has chosen Walter Cronkite, Hillary Clinton and (wtf?) Strobe Talbott as the Secret Rulers of the New World Order. MORE »