Tag Archives: new orleans

  Working Out Pretty Well For Them

George W. Bush In New Orleans: Heckuva Job, Myself!

    George W. Bush returned to the scene of the crime Friday, speaking briefly at a high school that had been flooded during Hurricane Katrina 10 years ago. You will be astonished that his remarks were utterly devoid of self-reflection or regret. After all, why would he need to regret anything that happened in New Orleans? But he did say he’d learned at least one lesson from the decade following Katrina: We need to privatize public education. At least he didn’t spoil the occasion by mentioning climate change. Read more on George W. Bush In New Orleans: Heckuva Job, Myself!…
  When the levee breaks Jindal will still be A Idiot

Bobby Jindal Begs Obama Not To Say Dumb Climate Change Stuff On Katrina Anniversary

Obama probably shouldn't mention weather either.
Obama probably shouldn’t mention weather either. Big anniversary happening on Saturday! Ten years ago, Hurricane Katrina made landfall in Louisiana, and the storm and the levee breaches it caused altered the course of history for New Orleans and surrounding areas. And, as governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal knows the city is in danger again, this time from that foreigner president of ours. What if Obama gallivants into New Orleans and says, “Climate change is real,” or “Science exists,” or “Bobby Jindal is a fucking moron”? Something had to be done, so Jindal writed hisself a letter to the president, explaining that the topic of climate change makes him uncomfortable, so please do not say mean words like that: Read more on Bobby Jindal Begs Obama Not To Say Dumb Climate Change Stuff On Katrina Anniversary…
  It's amazing who gets to be a "journalist" these days

Lady Writer Wishes Hurricane Katrina Would Destroy Chicago, Is That Mean?

Obama probably shouldn't mention weather either.
It was like so great you guys! Hey, remember Hurricane Katrina? It was ten years ago, almost! It was devastating. The final death count was 1,836 in Louisiana and Mississippi, and over half of them were elderly. Eighty percent of the city of New Orleans was flooded, and in poorer areas, the city is STILL rebuilding, or worse, not rebuilding. Yes, it’s rebounded in many ways, and of course it’s a hipster magnet, yadda yadda, but some of the things that have sprung up in the last ten years are NOT so great, like how the public schools were already failing before Katrina, but the new holy grail charter school system isn’t really doing any better. Oh, and also, too, much of the “rebirth” that’s happened in New Orleans is super fucking GREAT if you are middle-class or above, but if you’re poor? Sucks to you be you, honestly. Read more on Lady Writer Wishes Hurricane Katrina Would Destroy Chicago, Is That Mean?…
  Look Away!

Confederate General Bobby Jindal Invades New Orleans

Something something 'flagging primary campaign'
Something something ‘flagging presidential campaign’ Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal took a firm stand in favor of protecting the proud history of a nation that instigated a failed rebellion, threw out the United States Constitution, lost a civil war that killed 2.5 percent of the American population, and after four years of war, completely ceased to exist — 150 years ago. You see, Mayor Mitch Landrieu and City Council of New Orleans are considering removing four public monuments to the Confederacy, and Gov. Jindal, in a move that seems calculated to try to keep his bogged-down presidential candidacy alive, said Thursday that he won’t let the city get away with that. He’s a small-government conservative in favor of states’ rights, but like so many Small-Gov types, he’s discovered that local control is a terrible thing when it comes to cities doing things he doesn’t like. Read more on Confederate General Bobby Jindal Invades New Orleans…
  What If He Defunded Planned Parenthood And ACORN At the Same Time?

Bobby Jindal Sticks It To Planned Parenthood By Screwing The Poors

And just wait til you see the lovely menstrual huts that'll bve replacing Planned Parenthood. Right out of Leviticus!
Poor Bobby Jindal. Not going to be president. Not going to make the first debate. Not even likely to stay in the primaries past South Carolina, assuming he gets that far. But maybe, if he can make some grand gestures, he’ll capture the imagination of the teabagger wing and be the GOP’s wonder boy again, like he was before he made an ass of himself with that State of the Union response where people thought he was aspiring to become an actual pine 2X4. Maybe something dramatic, like taking bold action against Planned Parenthood to punish them for running a used fetus-parts brokerage? That might do it. And so on Monday the governor of Louisiana took decisive action, canceling the state’s Medicaid contract with Planned Parenthood, so that the organization that does so much harm to Louisiana’s precious little babbies will be stopped from its infernal deeds. A brave stand, and just the thing to recapture Wingnut America’s heart. Read more on Bobby Jindal Sticks It To Planned Parenthood By Screwing The Poors…
  The Big Diseasy

New Orleans Crotch Cricket Rate Off The Charts, So Let’s Not Teach Sex Ed

Why not bring back the classics?
How’s this for a surprise? Louisiana, where abstinence-only sex ed is mandatory and schools are actually forbidden by law from teaching about contraception and STDs, has the cities with the highest and second-highest STD infection rates in this great nation of ours. Cosmopolitan New Orleans is actually #2 in that competition, with the top prize going to Baton Rouge, which is of course French for “Pustulent Crimson Infected Stick.” But Think Progress brings us an inspiring profile of a man who’s trying to change that: State Rep. Wesley Bishop, who has the daffy idea that maybe if New Orleans schools adopted comprehensive sex education, the city might actually scream a bit less frequently when it pees. Read more on New Orleans Crotch Cricket Rate Off The Charts, So Let’s Not Teach Sex Ed…
  lol

Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody’s Been Waiting For

Not presidential material. Not Bobby Jindal either.
BREAKING NEWS! Gov. Bobby Jindal, who has basically ruined Louisiana, declared his candidacy for president of US America Wednesday afternoon, far too close to the city of New Orleans for anyone who actually loves that city. He had started off the week getting punched right in his junk by IBM, which had been nice enough to choose Baton Rouge for its new National Service Center. The company’s mood soured when Jindal decided he had to prove he was the gay-hatin’-est homophobe in all the land, by issuing an executive order giving Louisiana business owners the right to discriminate against gay people. That might work on the set of “Duck Dynasty,” but not in the grown-up world of big business. So IBM decided to cancel the big ribbon-cutting photo-op, the one Jindal could have used to show just how GOOD he’s been for Louisiana business. Read more on Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody’s Been Waiting For…
  Aren't you jealous of IBM?

IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order

Which one is the face he makes when he gets punched in the dick? ALL OF THEM KATIE.
You are probably so excited about this post, because the mere idea of ANY person, place or thing punching Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal in the nuts — metaphorically, of course — brings unfettered joy into the hearts of all patriotic Americans. Last month, Jindal was reeling from the fact that the Louisiana legislature wasn’t willing to heap embarrassment upon the state, by passing a fake “religious freedom” law, similar to the Fuck The Gays laws that passed, and were subsequently gutted by big business and butthurt Republicans, in Arkansas and Indiana. But because Jindal is probably the stupidest governor in US America (and also thinks he has a shot in hell of winning the GOP presidential nomination LOL), he decided to go ahead and issue an executive order, saying that Louisiana is TOO the Fuck The Gays state, and not just in the fun sexy way that happens in New Orleans. Read more on IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order…
  fuck this guy

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal Will Screw The Gays All By Himself, You’ll See

Bless his dumbass heart. Or fuck him in the ear. Whatever.
On Tuesday, a Fuck The Gays bill, HB 707 — similar to the Religious Freedom Restoration Acts (RFRAs) that passed, and were subsequently “fixed” like common dachschunds, in Indiana and Arkansas — died in a Louisiana House committee in a 10-2 vote. Gov. Bobby Jindal will not stand for this act of gay activist democracy, so he decided that if the House won’t do its duty, to Jesus and America, and pass the bill, he will just write his own version of the bill and pass it with an executive order, like a common power-grabbing tyrant: Read more on Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal Will Screw The Gays All By Himself, You’ll See…
  Letters from a jilted lover

Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore!

Not presidential material. Not Bobby Jindal either.
Bobby Jindal, wingnut governor of Louisiana, is whining in a very public way. Why? Gays. Where? The New York Times. Jindal has penned an op-ed to let everybody know that, unlike those Republican pussies in Arkansas and Indiana, who caved to the unholy alliance of Big Business and Big Sodomy and signed watered-down Religious Freedom Restoration Acts (RFRA’s, as the kids call them on Snapchat) that don’t explicitly allow people with Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs to discriminate against gays and lesbians any old damn way they choose, he will be “holding firm against gay marriage.” In fact, that is the headline of his piece! Show us on the doll where the gays are bullying you, Governor Jindal: Read more on Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore!…
  Here have some news n stuff

Conservatives Aren’t Happier Than Liberals After All, But They Are Liars. It’s Science!

Typical conservative
We all know what the studies say, right? Conservatives get dumber every time they watch Fox News. Liberals get unhappier every time they roll out of bed in their mom’s basement and smoke a bowl for brunch. If conservatives would stop praying for whores outside abortion clinics, they might know some things that are actually true. And if liberals would embrace Ronald Reagan as their personal lord and savior, they’d be all smiley faces and happy dancing. But oh! What is this? It’s another study, and it does not bode well for our conservative “friends,” bless their sad shriveled hearts: Read more on Conservatives Aren’t Happier Than Liberals After All, But They Are Liars. It’s Science!…
  Omission Accomplished

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism

He Kept Us Mostly Safe Kind Of
Well, fans of Christianist textbooks, just like in 1989, we’re just about at the end of history once again, or at least the end of our two rightwing Christian textbooks, almost. Last week, our 11/12th-grade textbook, United States History for Christian Schools (Bob Jones University Press, 2002), closed out* with a discussion of the 2000 election, so this week, we’ll rely solely on the the most fanciful textbook we’ve ever seen, A Beka’s 8th-grade America: Land I Love (2006), which advised us that George W. Bush’s “most important” qualification was that he “unashamedly identified himself as a born-again Christian” who “took a bold stand against moral evils such as abortion and gay rights.” And his presidency was almost as wonderful as Reagan’s, we learn, largely because Dubya rescued us from the horrors of the Clinton years. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Kept Us Safe From Terrorism…
  weird fetus fetish

Cheery ‘Operation Save America’ Folks Stage Fun-Times Open-Casket ‘Wake’ For Aborted Fetus

You can pet the fetus, Jimmy. Go ahead, pet the fetus.
Oh, those fun-loving merry tricksters from “Operation Save America!” Last Sunday, the little scamps invaded a Unitarian church to interrupt the service and yell the Gospel at the congregation. And they continued to let the Grim Times roll in New Orleans Tuesday, staging a public “wake” for what they claimed was an actual aborted fetus in an open coffin. Because there is absolutely nothing too weird for these people, except of course letting women make their own decisions about pregnancy. Read more on Cheery ‘Operation Save America’ Folks Stage Fun-Times Open-Casket ‘Wake’ For Aborted Fetus…
  in christ's name we prey

Fun-Loving Anti-Abortion Pals Making New Friends! (Invading Unitarian Church, Calling Them Satan)

Gimme a L-I-V-I-N-G-W-A-G-E
Just in case you thought that going to your own church might be a good way to avoid fundagelical nonsense, we learn today that some nice people from “Operation Save America,” an offshoot from the radical anti-abortion “Operation Rescue,” would like you to know that they are taking their campaign of Christian Love to minister to people all over the place — and even in churches where they’re not welcome! Last Sunday in New Orleans, some volunteers from the group invaded a Unitarian church service so they could set those godless Unitarian-Universalist heathens straight and let them know they were all bound for Hell. And they brag on their webpage about what a great job they did of witnessing to the sinners right there in that “Synagogue of Satan.” Read more on Fun-Loving Anti-Abortion Pals Making New Friends! (Invading Unitarian Church, Calling Them Satan)…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Cornucopia Of Creeps & Crazies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a good stiff metaphorical cleaning tool to our browser tabs, collect the stories that are too stupid to ignore altogether but not enough to deserve a full post, and serve them up to you in a metaphorical beverage that we urge you to consume a literal perception-altering agent of your choice before reading. Our Prime Derp this week was pretty much dictated by the mugshot above, which is the bug-eyed visage of one Bernard Marsonek of Tampa, Florida. Yup, Florida Man strikes again. Mr. Marsonek was arrested after neighbors flagged down police to report that he was doing sex to his pit bulldog. In his yard. While the neighbors yelled at him to please for the love of god stop sexing his dog in the yard, if that wouldn’t be too much trouble, please. When the cops interviewed Marsonek inside his house, they also found that he possessed a handgun, which led to another charge since he had a prior felony conviction (we don’t know what prior felony that was, and we don’t think we want to know). Eight pit pulls were seized and taken to Animal Services, and Marsonek was also charged with aggravated animal cruelty and sexual activity involving animals. The one good thing to come out of this story? Wingnuts who worried about the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” can be reassured that dogfucking remains illegal. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Cornucopia Of Creeps & Crazies…
  they're tryin' to wash us away

Hey, New Orleans, You Probably Shouldn’t Have Fired Those 7000 Teachers After Katrina. #Payup

So it turns out that Louisiana’s attempt to “remake” public education after Katrina — which mostly consisted of opening up the state’s coffers to grifty charter schools and handing out vouchers for religious schools, regardless of their quality — has run into just a teensy bit of a problem: in their zeal to screw teachers’ unions, they also fired over 7000 teachers without due process, and a court in the teachers’ class-action suit has found that the teachers are entitled to damages. Not the full 5 years’ back pay and benefits the teachers sought, but 2-3 years’ pay, plus benefits for those who were enrolled in them before being fired: Read more on Hey, New Orleans, You Probably Shouldn’t Have Fired Those 7000 Teachers After Katrina. #Payup…