new orleans
BP Pays Top Chef To Come To New Orleans, Do Something With All These Eyeless Shrimp
This wonksplainer by DDM was brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spill Blogging. Let’s travel back in time to April, 2010. After years of stroking and massaging from federal and state tax cuts, BP blows a huge oily load into New Orleans’ backyard. BP looks around, says, “Sorry about the mess. Here’s [...]
Are You Smarter Than These Gun-Toters?
With the astronomical amounts of derp spewing into the atmosphere over the IRS, the AP, and BENGHAZI!!!!11!!!!, it is easy to forget that Americans continue every day to shoot each other with guns in ever more inventive ways. Lucky for you that yr Wonkette is here to remind you that every time you think the [...]
Joe Biden, Done Killing That Dog, Now Murdering Small Businesses With His Very Existence
WELL WELL WELL, Mean Ugly Joe Biden! Not only have you murdered a Secret Service dog just to watch it die — do you really want to be Hillary Clinton that bad?? — but now you are SCANDALOUSLY ruining small business owners’ parking garage takes during Mardi Gras, by not-actually-closing-down the parking garage at all. [...]
Drudge Sirens! Former NOLA Mayor Ray Nagin Charged With Taking Bribes Just Like In Treme!
In an unprecedented instance of a Louisiana politician being accused of corruption, former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has been charged by a federal grand jury with 21 counts of corruption as foreseen by David Simon in his documentary Treme! Tell us more about the details, not-quite-a-newspaper-anymore Times-Picayune! (If you’d like, you can try to [...]
Equivalencies: NOLA School District Embraces Evolution; Tenn. Preacher Says It Caused School Shootings
In the one step forward, one step back department, we have the heartening news that the school board for Orleans Parish, Louisiana, has voted to explicitly bar schools from teaching creationism or adopting “revisionist” history standards. On the other hand, a Tennessee pastor told his church last Sunday that mass shootings are the inevitable result [...]
God Too Lazy To Destroy New Orleans Homosexualistas A Second Time
Do you guys remember the good old days? Things were so much simpler then, when we could identify the homosexualista menaces in our midst, at which point the wind would start to a-blowin’ on account of “come a cloud!” and we could tie all those things together in order to fulfill the holy wrath of [...]
Oh Look Who Wants the Government’s Help Now (Hint: It Is Bobby Jindal)
Why HELLO Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-Hypocrisy), how is it going down there with that big storm barreling through your state and all? Battening down the hatches and whatnot? Letting the American People provide for themselves without suckling from the government’s teat, because of Liberty and all that? No, of course not! Bobby Jindal is UPSET [...]
Gingrich Claims Nothing Happened During Secret Hotel Tryst With Romney
Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney have had a meeting, you guys! It took place in the way that all such Republican meetings take place: In secret, in a hotel room, full of angry feelings. But now it’s not a secret anymore, because Newt Gingrich had to open his fat mouth to let everyone know there [...]
NOPD Suspends Racist Cop for Proving It With Invite to ‘Join Trayvon Martin in Hell’
Hi, racist New Orleans cop? The Fifth Amendment called and wanted to remind you of your right to not incriminate yourself by posting comments, on Facebook, under your name, while on desk duty for your role in another shooting, about Trayvon Martin being “in Hell,” YOU STUPID FUCKING RACIST CRACKER.
Corrupt Former Louisiana Governor Marries Nice Young Lady He Met In Prison
It’s nice to hear a story once in a while about things finally working out for the world’s corrupt career politicians, isn’t it? Four-time Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards, now 83, was serving an 8-year sentence on bribery and extortion charges when he made a prison pen pal who turned out to be a very attractive [...]
Clarence Thomas Gladly Reads Amoral Decision Against Innocent Black Guy Who Spent 14 Years On Death Row
Fringe-right corporate lackey Clarence Thomas has famously kept his mouth shut during most of his 20 years on the Supreme Court, because how could anyone improve upon Antonin Scalia’s insane bullshit? But on Tuesday, Clarence Thomas cheerfully took the opportunity to read the conservative majority’s decision against an innocent black man in New Orleans who [...]
Anti-Gay Activist Pastor Allegedly Caught Masturbating At Public Park
Rev. Grant Storms is apparently well known in New Orleans for wearing stupid Bible-American-flag t-shirts, donning ridiculous 1980s pedophile/hipster glasses, and walking through Southern Decadence, the city’s annual gay festival, with a broom. Apparently, though, he does not do this during the city’s annual boob festival, Mardi Gras, so it’s the gays he has a [...]
GOP: Cut Basic Human Services, Increase Funding For Pentagon
Washington’s decadent spending spree is over, motherfuckers! There’s a new House Budget Committee Chairman in town, and his name is Paul Ryan. Maybe you’ve heard of him before, since he is the world’s most famous money-saving wizard? (When cleaning his bunghole, Paul Ryan always uses both sides of a piece of toiler paper — and [...]
New Orleans Evicts Remaining Toxic FEMA Trailer Dwellers
From the noble Brownstones of Brooklyn to the hilltop villas of Malibu that fall onto incoming traffic whenever there’s a mudslide, America is full of architectural gems. So it’s rather worrisome that New Orleans officials are planning to rid their city of the last remaining FEMA trailers — national treasures which are widely recognized as [...]
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