New York’s ex-Governor Eliot Spitzer and current Governor David Paterson have brought the state two scandal-friendly governors in only the last few weeks. New Jersey, on the other hand, has not had any hilarious sex governors since James McGreevey, a homosexual, resigned at T.G.I. Friday’s in 2004. They are jealous of New York’s sudden lead and are considering recalling Governor Jon Corzine. Not that he has had any T.G.I. Friday’s gay sex prostitution scandals. He just has that aura of need-to-leave, you see. [KYW]

Tired of Ashley Kristen Alexandra Dupre yet? Us too! But not US Magazine! The celebrity weekly has about a thousand pictures of Eliot Spitzer’s allegedly high-class hooker, and they’re all about as bad as this one, and we think the official title of this set is “The Official Seal of the Great State of New Jersey.” Remember that picture of a pretty young Ashley/Kristen in a bikini on a yacht? That was apparently taken in 1978. [US Magazine]

MCGREEVEY CONFIRMS T.G.I. FRIDAY’S THREESOME CLUB: Ex-New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey has confirmed that he used to have threesomes with his wife and driver, covered in fried green beans and ranch dressing and performed on the Jack Daniels Grill at T.G.I. Friday’s. Hilariously, his wife completely denies it. Aaaaand her divorce cash-in has just dropped like a mozzarella stick into steamy marinara goo. [AP/CBS News]

Now that America is about finished with New York and its terrible sordid sex scandals, a nation turns its lonely eyes to New Jersey for more smut. And New Jersey delivers! Remember that other governor who had to resign because he slept with some non-wife sort of person? It turns out former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey maybe used to have sex with his wife and some other dude, at the same time. Worse yet, these unspeakable acts allegedly followed weekly dinners at T.G.I. Friday’s. MORE »

He never let us forget, and then we forgot for a few months, but now they don’t want us to forget again: The Political Bosses in New Jersey are considering getting America’s Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, to run for Senate in New Jersey against America’s Jew, Frank Lautenberg. But was he in New Jersey enough when the 9/11 buildings fell? MORE »

Ex-Congressman Robert Roe of New Jersey, whose record of hitting family vans while drunkenly driving motorcars got a highway dedicated to him, is requesting that the Jersey government rescind the naming legislation. This request would’ve been useful before the legislature and governor drafted and passed the legislation. And why is he turning down this honor anyway — he’d get a highway, and people would chill after a month or two. Is he drunk again? [Daily Record]

One night in 1993, then-Congressman Robert Roe of New Jersey, with a .17 blood-alcohol level, “veered out of his lane in Rockaway Township and ran head-on into a minivan carrying a family of three.” For this service to his country, the New Jersey state government recently renamed a highway after him. Congratulations to drunk ex-Congressman Robert Roe of New Jersey, America’s Highway Hero! MORE »

You know that attractive lady, the Obama Girl? Well, like most attractive ladies, she is a complete liar. Obama Girl, nee “Obama Girl,” is a registered voter in New Jersey — where she most certainly didn’t vote for anything yesterday. According to Obama Girl, she was at an “election-watching party in Greenwich Village,” a famous gay community in New York City, and couldn’t get back to her Jersey hellhole in time to vote. Watch out for the pretty ones, Barry — they’ll break your heart every time. [City Room]

Wonkette Intern Extraordinare Greg Wasserstrom continues to surprise us by neither bringing us our coffee as specified in his blood oath nor being decidedly unfunny to make us look better. But, without coffee, we’re too lazy to crack down anyway.

I just have one question for Jon Corzine, governor of the State of New Fucking Jersey and it is this: What, sir, would Jesus do? Would he sign into law a bill banning the death penalty, the fucking death penalty, the most important tool in the law enforcement tool box? The verdict is in, Corzine, the verdict is in, and Huckabee and I know what Jesus really wants. But go ahead, governor. Sign away the lives of your citizens, as now there will be no deterrent to killing people in your state. But plow forward sir, you know what’s best. Go ahead and reverse a 42-year tradition of executing those individuals who, after being charged with a capital crime, were assigned a public defender for lack of access to an actual, non-poor-person lawyer and therefore convicted. Go ahead and spare those from death who would otherwise be exonerated by DNA evidence. That’s just so American and everything. As for me, I’m on the next bus to Moscow because what’s the fucking difference?

James “I Am A Gay American” McGreevey resigned as governor of New Jersey in 2004 with his wife by his side. That relationship went to shit after it turned out that he’d been fucking around on her with men pretty much their entire marriage and didn’t resign because he was gay so much as that he’s was about to get slapped with a sexual harassment suit over the gay man he put on the payroll. It didn’t get better when he went on Oprah and bragged that he got his first piece of ass from the guy while his wife, Dina, was in labor with their daughter, Jacqueline. She turns 6 this weekend, but the way. Guess how her estranged parents celebrated?

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Cheesy, big-haired rocker Jon Bon Jovi is supposedly mulling a run for New Jersey Governor. According to Page Six, the Bon Jovi frontman has moved his family to SoHo in New York, but is keeping his Red bank, NJ to claim state residency should he choose to make a bid for governor of the Garden State. MORE »